Please give me hope for a healthy pregnancy after a missed miscarriage. :(

[EarthMama]

I have had a missed miscarriage and I am still in shock and having terrible doubt that I will ever be able to have a healthy pregnancy again. I have one beautiful son but would love another child to add to our family. I went in for a scan at 10 weeks and the baby had stopped growing two weeks prior. In fact it is still inside of me as my body still hasn't figured out that the baby is dead, which truly worries me for future pregnancies. I will probably have to get a d&c next week.

But please give me hope that this strange event in my life will not mean that I will never be able to have a healthy pregnancy again. I am trying to stay positive and look to the future but I do just get hit with these doubts about ever having a healthy pregnancy again. Please tell me your stories if you can.

 

[RomaTomato]

I had a blighted ovum that was not detected until I started bleeding brown at 11 weeks, and then I had a chemical about 10 months later. I am now 32 weeks along . This is my first, so I was feeling pretty discouraged!! Hang in there, it will happen!!!

So sorry for your loss, my dear.

 

[Amygdala]

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a mmc before I had baby 1. Like yours, my body also didn't want to let go and I had medical management in the end. I always saw that as a positive though. The baby sadly wasn't viable (from my reading it seems that when a baby stops growing around 8 weeks it's because of some genetic defect that means it couldn't survive. At 8 weeks, the placenta starts to take over and apparently the embryo goes through a lot of "self-testing" of organs etc at that stage). So the fact that my body wouldn't let go reassured me that it would hold on tight to a healthy baby next time. Also, and again this is just my understanding, it seems that a miscarriage around 8 weeks is most often really only very bad luck. It's unlikely to be a permanent problem that could affect your next pregnancy. I know it's hard right now but try to see this as a freak occurrence, not a symptom of something bigger. I had a perfectly healthy baby after my mmc and just just had a scan to check on this new one and all seems good there as well. Better times will come!

 

[MumToEva]

Hey Hun. I have had 2 miscarriages - the first was at 10 weeks, after which I went on to have a healthy pregnancy with my daughter. The second was at 8 weeks, though I think it had stopped growing at an earlier stage as it was nowhere near as painful as the first miscarriage. I am now pregnant again, and, touch wood, all seems to be well with this one too.

After my first miscarriage I got so down, particularly as I had been far enough along to get attached to the pregnancy, and because if you have never had problems during pregnancy you never think it will happen to you. It took me a while to feel ready to try again, but we started ttc after 3 months and i got pregnant immediately. Hopefully this was a one off and you will soon be pregnant again.

 

[OmiOmen]

Sorry for your loss.

I went to the 12 week scan in my first pregnancy and found out s/he had stopped growing at 6 weeks. I had never heard of a MMC and thought everything was going fine so it was a very confusing time for me. I tried to wait for my body to naturally miscarry but it didn't so I had a D&C. We tried again and a few month later I was pregnant again but that ended in a natural MC. I really thought that I would never have children at that point but my third pregnancy carried to term, although it was a high-risk pregnancy, and I had my amazing son. I am now coming up to 26 weeks in my forth pregnancy.

Unfortunately MC's are very common and many women experience them however the most common reason for them is that the pregnancy was not viable. It is only considered a potential fertility issue after having three in a row with no healthy baby in-between them. I know non of the information out there will make you feel better about what has happened but rest assured that it is very unlikely that you have a fertility issue that will stop you having more children.

 

[girlinyork]

The fact you've a son already is massively encouraging and suggests the mmc was a fluke. My first pregnancy was a mmc and then I had a chemical and then another miscarriage. I'm now being kicked by a strong and healthy baby girl

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'm really sorry for your loss. I had a mc before DS, I too was convinced I'd never have a healthy pregnancy. But DS was fine and I'm pregnant with number 2 now.

 

[exoticsiren]

Sorry hun.. You will be able to have children alot of woman have mc an still have fullterm pregnancies

 

[NaturalMomma]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Miscarriages are actually common, has nothing to do with you not being healthy, and the embryo wouldn't have grown to a fetus/baby most likely. I know that doesnt' put your mind at ease though. I had a miscarriage and since then have had 2 children and my third is on the way. Most women will miscarry and then have healthy babies, and since you already have a baby that is a very good sign that you will be able to carry to term again.

 

[sassymrsbee]

I've been where you are, and I am so sorry for your loss! I am currently pregnant with my sweet baby girl after going through a devestating loss last year, as a matter of fact I am coming up on the 1 year anniversary of that fateful ultrasound where I was told my baby had just stopped growing.

I understand feeling like it will never happen for you, but rest assured that there is still hope!! This pregnancy has been textbook perfect (so far- God willing it stays that way), and less than a year ago I honestly thought it would never happen for me!

Just get some rest right now, your body needs to heal. I didnt allow myself to rest the way I should have after my miscarriage, and it took my body weeks to regain strength.

 

[Agiboma]

sorry for your loss, for the fact that yu have had a child already it should comfort you and let you know that yes you can carry another baby to term. GL

 

[lilesMom]

hugs hon, i had d and c at 10.5 weeks, bub stopped growing at 7.5 weeks, i had no sign except tiny amount of spotting on that day and i mean tiny.
i was devastated, it was to be my first bub and i was so afraid i wouldnt be able to have a baby. im now over 25 weeks preg and things are goin well thank god .
i waited for 3 months to try ( only cos i had liver issue i had to get checked out),
but when we tried again i got bfp within 14 days, we got go ahead on cd 12 and tried then.
u have no extra chance of mc or mmc next time round hon, u have exact same odds as anyone else who gets pregnant., xxxxxxxxx
take care of urself, allow urself to be sad when u need to be and know that u will have ur rainbow babe and happy ending xxxxxxxx
be gentle with ur self for the next while, it is a really tough thing to go through. xx hugs .
remember that u are allowed be sad and things will get better even on the days when u feel like they wont, xxxxx
if u wanna chat feel free to Pm if u want, hugs hon x

 

[Brockie]

So sorry for your loss I remember the feeling well, I had a mmc with my first pregnancy. Went along for my 12 week scan to find baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I too had never heard of a mmc before, I immediately knew I wanted a D&C though, I can't explain it but I just needed to be able to move on. We felt ready emotionally and physically to try again straight away and I conceived the following month with my now 4 year old son had no problems with my second pregnancy and this one is going well so far too. Looking back now I had no symptoms at all that first pregnancy, nothing! I assumed it was normal though as had nothing to compare it too. My following healthy pregnancies had all consisted of pretty heavy MS so I felt a little comfort each time in that.

You will go on to have another healthy pregnancy, 1 in 4 woman miscarry, it's a lot more common than we think, people just don't talk about it. Positive vibes to you love xxx

 

[babyhopes2010]

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[Smiler82]

Losing a baby is a very hard, dark time and am thinking of you hun.

My first pregnancy ended in mmc when I was 10 weeks. Like another poster, I opted for d and c immediately as I was just so terrified of what could happen if I waited for nature to take its course. It took me 12 weeks to recover, then I fell pregnant again the 13th week after the op. Sadly that also ended in miscarriage, this time natural and at home, when I was 12 weeks. But I had a strong feeling from around week 9 that something wasn't right, so I believe that baby died earlier than 12 weeks and it just took that long for my body to do something about it.

I felt exactly the same, that I would never be able to carry a child to term and DH and I would never get to be parents. There is a huge sense of failure that comes with miscarriage; you lose faith in your body's ability to do what it's 'meant' to do as a woman and it leaves you feeling very low in self-confidence. My advice is to take however much time you feel you need to get over it, and don't let anyone rush you. I can't tell you how many times I was told to "hurry up and cheer up". Doesn't work like that.

Now, I'm very happy to say that I'm pregnant again for the third time and so far, touch wood, all is going well. I've never got this far before and just hoping and wishing with all my heart that this baby is going to stay with us. It is hard being pregnant again after a loss, which is another reason to make sure you take as much time as you need to get over your loss. You need to feel strong enough to cope with another pregnancy so whether it takes you a month or a year to feel strong enough, that's fine, you do what you need to.

As many others have said, sadly it's just the case that miscarriage is really common and the majority of the time it's due to something that's totally beyond anyone's control and it's just terrible luck that it happened to you. The odds are still in your favour for another pregnancy, and the fact you already had one healthy pregnancy is a great sign. Take care xx

 

[hulagirl]

I had a mmc in march 11 went for a dating scan at 10w 4days no heartbeat and baby stopped growing at 10weeks.
I had erpc the next day which went fine, I did end up with an infection after but that cleared up with antibiotics.
I got pregnant with my son in July 2011 and although nervous went to term (in fact he was late) lol.
I am now pregnant with my 2nd had 12 week scan which went well and am due in Aug.

It will happen but I remember feeling exactly like you do but the one thing I clung on to was that my body was working and that I could get pregnant.

Goodluck and look after yourself. X

 

[iwantabub]

Mmc and mc are not caused by probllems with you 99.9% of the time... the reason is 1/3 pregnancies ends in mc of some description because when the chromosomes join together from mum and dad they dont always fit... it takes two of the right feom each side to make that happen... its the same as pretty much any living thing...

The reason is our body is so viliglant most of the time in flushing that out of our body because it knows it was an abnormality... sometimes our b ody doesnt pick up on it and lets it go annd in which case the foetus stops growing but wasnt bad enough for our body to pick it up.

It is actually a safety measure for us because if the bubs wouldnt survive inside he certainly wouldn't outside ...

It all sounds so simple and quite logical. Until u add emotions when u are ttc or want a baby...

I had am mmc at 12 weeks three years ago and got pregnant second month ttc this time around and am now 26 weeks...

Please I know this is difficult but the highest chances are that you were one out of three just lije a lot of us and it just wasn't right that time... id stake a fair amount of money on the fact u will have another healthy baby if u chose to again...

Im sorry for your loss and good luck ttc for the future

 

[amjon]

Our second pregnancy ended in MMC. I did MC naturally once we found out the baby was dead, so your body may take care of it once you accept it mentally. My doctor was against D&C unless it was 100% necessary. (I would have probably opted for the Cytotec over D&C which is much more natural anyway.) I had a chemical right after that and am now 21 weeks with twin boys, so it doesn't mean things can't go right. I am on both aspirin and Lovenox this pregnancy and have been with a MFM since 8 weeks.

 

[austinsmom]

Miscarriage is devastating, no matter how common it is.
Last year, I conceived three times. The first two were back to back MMC @ 9 weeks. No period inbetween. Decided to give myself a month off, and got pregnant a third time.
So, this is my 6th pregnancy. My DS, a MC, my DD, 2 MMC, and this pregnancy. I would give yourself some time to grieve. It is always a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm sure you'll be able to conceive again. So so sorry you're going through this.

 

[summer rain]

I suffered a MMC in 2009 and two very early suspected miscarriages/chemical pregnancies on other occasions. In my case I didn't find out about the MMC until nearly six weeks later because due to my booking and scan appointment request being sent off to the wrong place by my GP they didn't send me my booking appointment until I would have been nearly 16 weeks and my scan was going to be two days later than that. A couple of days before my booking appointment I started spotting red blood and then on the day of my appointment it was a lot and I went to a&e, the doctors didn't think it was a miscarriage but instead it was a haematoma or something, they moved my scan forward to the next day but gave me an appointment in the normal ante natal clinic as opposed to the early pregnancy unit. It was horrible to walk crying past all those pregnant women. We then had to wait nearly 6 hours in the early pregnancy unit to be seen by a consultant. He said it looked like things had already started to happen and he'd recommend a natural mc as it could be a week or so before I was able to have a d&c and d&cs aren't without their risks. So I decided to go for natural taking natural prostaglandin such as flaxseed oil and Nigella sativa to help things along, it wasn't a nice experience but it helped to give me some closure and without going into detail even at 9/10 weeks of development you could tell the foetus, which came out in the sac, wasn't quite right judging by pictures and illustrations I have seen. So this reassured me that there must've been something wrong with the baby and its development and not me. Later on I did find out there is a medical condition which I can't remember the name of, that matched up with what I saw and most pregnancies of such foetuses do end at about the 9th or 10th week but those babies that survive have a very poor quality of life indeed. I've had my youngest since, who is perfectly healthy, and am pregnant again and all seems fine. Xx