Please help. I feel like I'm going mad.

[LoveleeB]

Hi,

I am concerned my son has autism. But it's how I'm dealing with it that worries me. I am googling autism all the time. My son also has an increased head circumference so I have begun googling that and increased risk of autism. I cry all the time and have stopped sleeping. I feel like if I could get a diagnosis and know for a fact it would be easier than this not knowing, especially as I know it could still be a year before any determination is made (or testing even begins). I also feel like I'm "testing" my son all the time - does he still point, is he still making eye contact, etc.

I would appreciate any advice on how to get through this.

 

[JellyBeann]

Hiya hun, I'm sorry, I have no advice or experience, but I didn't want to R&R, so I just wanted to offer

 

[deafgal]

my husband's head had a large head circumference, my MIL told me the doctors were very concerned (before and after birth) but it turns out it is just his gene. he is naturally a large person (and tall).

To give you an idea of large, she had go the c-section route because she couldn't deliver him (his head wouldn't fit).

My son have his gene (his head circumference grew fast, but he was growing tall fast too), but he was born small (6lb 3oz) if he added any extra lbs, I probably would have gone through the same route as my mil/

 

[JASMAK]

I don't know what to say...I did the same thing as you. It's a horrible time. I was relieved when my daughter was diagnosed...just to have it over with and get her the help she needs. Just keep this in mind...and this is what I would tell myself when I would google....NO MATTER WHAT...he will always be your baby...nothing will ever change that. x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I got to this stage M was about 2 and I googled every single thing I could thing of relating to him and autism. I was convinced and I was actually right but he didnt get diagnosed until he was 5.
Its a horrible time when you always google but just take each day as it comes x

 

[cazzap06]

You are not going mad , it is perfectly normal , as others on here including myself have done the same thing!!!

Its really difficult in the early days , not knowing , looking for answers but then getting confused , and all because you are a concerned parent who loves your child

( Or in my case , concerned Grandparent who loves her DGS and DD's and wanted to support my DD as much as possible especailly as she is a single Mum and coping on her own..

I googled and googled too .... so did my DD

We both went through another faze of googling recently as my DGS was also diagnosed with acute myclonic encephelopathy ( night twitches ) which we were concerned was epilepsy

He was hospitalised and they ran numerous tests , some unpleasant , and was a very stressful time for us all

We have come to terms with his Autism , night twitches , psorisis and possible ADHD without wanting to slap labels all over the sweetheart and yet it does actually help us to understand him if he is diagnosed correctly and it is a relief...

Hope all goes well for you and you settle into a happy life with your child as back to normal means the worry is gone and you can simply enjoy each other to the max!! xx

 

[LoveleeB]

Well since posting that original post, things have gotten more concerning. I could see signs of autism in my son at that point but since then he's begun regressing. He used to only point with his index finger but now sometimes points with all five fingers. He's also not interested in toys. Every night I go to bed wondering if the next morning the son I know will be gone. Everything I read about Regressive Autism indicates that it's the most difficult kind and to have to just sit and wait and see what happens is killing me.

If anyone has any positive stories about regressive autism, I'd love to hear them.

 

[deafgal]

not all kids are interested in toys, My son never was. He was a people person and loved to just talk, talk, talk (or babble alot as if he was talking when he was young).. he would NOT play with his toys. everytime I buy him a toy, I felt like I wasted my money. It could be his personality, or it could be autism.

 

[sun]

Lots of hugs

I am no expert at all in autism, but from what I have read true "regressive autism" is that it is not only rare but occurs in older children. There is a child at our treatment centre who has it and began regressing seriously at 3.5yo after totally normal development up until that point Regression can be a sign of autism generally and can happen younger, but I think there is a difference between that and true RA which is what you could be thinking of? Please correct me if I'm wrong though.

So sorry you are dealing with this though - I agree that the not knowing is the worst. My son has gross developmental and speech delay and I used to drive myself insane with the googling and worrying. When they are young like your LO it's hard to know what's really a symptom. My son is nothing like he was at 16 months - he's changed and learned so much over the last 6 months I hardly recognize him!

 

[LoveleeB]

Lots of hugs

I am no expert at all in autism, but from what I have read true "regressive autism" is that it is not only rare but occurs in older children. There is a child at our treatment centre who has it and began regressing seriously at 3.5yo after totally normal development up until that point Regression can be a sign of autism generally and can happen younger, but I think there is a difference between that and true RA which is what you could be thinking of? Please correct me if I'm wrong though.

So sorry you are dealing with this though - I agree that the not knowing is the worst. My son has gross developmental and speech delay and I used to drive myself insane with the googling and worrying. When they are young like your LO it's hard to know what's really a symptom. My son is nothing like he was at 16 months - he's changed and learned so much over the last 6 months I hardly recognize him!

Thanks for your reassurance Sun! I keep telling myself I don't know what will happen and even if he does continue to regress, it may not be the "worst case scenario" that I keep replaying in my mind. I just have to take things day by day.

 

[bornthiswayxo]

Hello
I will probably go through the same concerns with my children... as both me and my OH have asperger syndrome, but I just wanted to say... try your best not to fear it. No doubt, it'll be more of a struggle, I know for a fact I was hell to bring up... but it'll be fine, I promise. Regardless of whether he lands on the spectrum or not, he's your LO, I prefer to just think of it as a characteristic, rather than a severe conditon. Obviously it's harder to deal with when the LO is so young, but it does get better x