please help me stop feeling guilty!!

[kpt20]

Hi

Ive been breastfeeding my daughter since birth for over 2 weeks now and this week i have decided to introduce formula.

I have a 5 yr old son too and ive had to be constantly feeding my daughter as she has had slowweight gain but its taking me totally away from my son and its really affecting him!

I didnt breastfeed my son as i had him by c-sec and i never had much milk and i felt reallyguilty about it and really wanted to do it this time but i just dont think i can.

Since giving her some formula she seems not to be satisfied by breastmilk anymore at all - i just fed her on breasts for an hour and she was still hungry and i offered her a bottle and she took it like she was starving!!! I was thinking maybe the milk isnt there anymore or she is getting used to the nipple of a bottle and not drawing from breaost properly anymore.

with constantly feeding her like this im just never there to do anything for my son and i feel like again he is missing out in trying to give his sister what he never had. so ive decided to express and mix it with formula and give her that while the milk is still there.

But - i just feel like i'm giving up and not a good mum!! im feeling so guilty. Feel like with a bottle -anyone could look after her she doesnt need mummy!!!
I know this is something i have to do as i cant function with the constant feeding and dont even know if she is getting any now but I dont want to feel like this!!!!! Its really getting me down.

any advice?

 

[blondeNklutzi]

Hi hun. I had to stop bfing after about 2 weeks too. He lost a very large amount of weight in the beginning and we had to supplement. After having the formula and the bottle nipple he didn't want breastmilk, even if it was expressed. And I couldn't pump more than one feeding in a day anyway. In the end, I decided to FF because the stress and anguish he and I were both going through trying to bf wasn't helping either one of us. I felt horrendously guilty, cried everytime I gave him a bottle. One lady on here described having to switch to formula as pretty much the same as the five stages of grief and it really really was like that for me. I still feel guilty sometimes, but it has become more of a jealousy for women who are able to breastfeed when I wasn't. i'm getting over it now and am reassured that I made the right choice when I see my happy, healthy, energetic little boy!

If you really want to continue bfing try the bfing support section, the ladies there are WONDERFUL. If, however, you do switch to formula, remember that the important thing is that you are feeding your child. And whether you do it with formula or breastmilk, that child is just as loved and just as special to you and needs and will love you just the same.

 

[kpt20]

Hey
yeah my lo lost too much weight too - she lost 13% and they had us back in hospital. The stress of it all has just killed me and i cant take it anymore. she has started to gain now but only with constant feeding meaning zero time for my 5 yr old boy and its making him really play up and he gets really low too - i cant see that!!

I formula fed my son and i keep telling myself that he is such a lovely healthy and happy kid so its ok! but still - i feel like a let down! I cant keep feeling like this!!

To top it off i think i am getting mastitis or something as have had an achey boob even after feeding and expressing and have a fever and my body aches!!

i think i'd seriously forgotten how hard this all is!!! lol! x

 

[jacs]

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter

You are obviously trying to do the right thing by your whole family, and clearly want what's best for them. What is there to feel guilty about? You're doing a fab job!

I have never for a second felt guilty about FF, as I have always done my absolute best for Evan, and I am proud of that. He is a thriving, healthy and happy little boy, who so far has never had a days sickness in his life.

It's disappointing when you've had your heart set on something, but FF really isn't something to feel guilty about.

 

[Klb8916]

I BF for two weeks then expressed for a few more weeks but due to various reasons I went to FF after a month. The first time I gave her a formula bottle I cried but my LO was fine. I do get jealous when I see people BF but I did what was right for my daughter.

My midwife at the time told me happy mum=happy baby.

Do you have a childrens centre in your area they often have breastfeeding support workers who may be able to offer you some advise?