Please help! Sleep desperation post

[Mrsmac02]

Please can anyone help, I'm all out of ideas and at my whit's end

DS1 was a poor sleeper but DS2 is off the scale and I'm totally stumped.

He's fed to sleep, sometimes has a dummy and is still in our room at 7 months (because if he goes into his own room, we will get zero sleep).

He sometimes falls asleep on his own in the co sleeper and will nap pretty much anywhere during the day, sleeping somewhere between 30 and 90 minutes.

Nighttimes are horrific. He falls asleep without any fuss but wakes within the hour crying and doesn't stop until he's fully awake 15-20 mins later. Feeding doesn't work, Dunny doesn't work, shush/pat doesn't work. If I walk with him, he will eventually settle after maybe an hour. That goes on throughout so we are averaging about 2 hours a night each.

Any ideas/ suggestions?

I tried controlled crying with DS1 but couldn't go through with it. And I don't think that type of approach would work with DS2 since he can easily go for an hour crying while I'm with him, let alone when I'm not.

Any help would be really appreciated!

 

[becsboo]

hang on in there it wont last forever
I co sleep I find this works for us

 

[Mrsmac02]

Thanks bescboo. We co-slept with DS1 and are kinda co-sleeping with DS2 (he's in a bedside crib and comes into bed with me for most of the night) but it doesn't seem to help. He seems angry and upset that he's awake and even close contact doesn't settle him. I'm demented! X

 

[becsboo]

he could be teething mine are so grumpy when they are coming through

 

[xdxxtx]

My fourth-born was the same way. He would just scream and scream. I sucked it up and let him cry it out one night, as controlled crying would NOT work. He cried for a few long HOURS, but he eventually went to sleep. He and I snuggled extra the next day, and when I put him to bed that next night, he cried for less than an hour. The next day, he was on his normal routine/schedule again, and he cried for less than 15 minutes. Sometimes, he still cries. All of my babies cried for a few minutes before going to sleep. If I hold him for a nap, he'll still cry for up to half an hour! So I know this is normal for him.

I hated it, and those two nights when he cried a little longer, I was so upset, and I didn't sleep at all, just waiting for him to wake back up, but it didn't happen. Now, I get enough sleep, so I'm not short-tempered with anyone... I followed through with this because I am so busy all day with all of my kids and cleaning and working from home and homeschooling, and the lack of sleep with him crying in my room all night or going in there and settling him allllllllllllll night long just was NOT working out. I was SO grumpy with my kids, and I fell asleep a few times when it was NOT safe, so I HAD to do something drastic. I do NOT regret it one bit, and my guilt faded away as I realized how much happier my baby was once he was getting a full night of sleep.

Whatever method(s) you choose, good luck. Some babies are just terrible sleepers at night - two of mine were easy, and two of mine were extremely difficult - so I think it's going to be draining no matter how you do it if your baby just does not want to sleep all night.

 

[1nceUponATime]

My 6 month old is a terrible sleeper as well. I do what I have to to survive same as you. She sleeps next to my bed and then we end up co sleeping for part of the night. I've tried to put her in her room but she seems like she won't sleep in there. I haven't had the heart to just let her cry it out. Sometimes she will wake up twice (on good nights lol) and sometimes she wakes up a hundred times and refuses to go back to sleep. It stinks, and sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. You are definitely not alone! I just keep trying to think it won't last forever

 

[Lil mole]

Have you ever considered reflux or silent reflux? That 'sleep' pattern sounds a lot like dd2, who was diagnosed with GORD at 8 weeks. She was waking in pain and then unable to settle for quite some time. Once she started the right medication sleep improved dramatically. She still not great and wakes 2-3 times a night at 18 months, but she settles again quickly.
She slept ok in the day time too, although mostly held or in a carrier or car seat.

 

[Mrsmac02]

Thanks for all your replies ladies, all very helpful.

DS2 had reflux, like DS1 did, but is well medicated and doesn't keep him awake during the day so pretty sure it's not that.

xdxxtx, that sounds so tough! DS2 just doesn't not respond well to being left to cry at all so I know that's not an option for us.

He skipped his afternoon nap yesterday and fell asleep at 6 in his highchair. Transferred him to his cot without his grobag on and he slept for 3 hours! Woke up briefly for a dummy just after 9, slept again til after midnight. He fell back asleep 90 mins later after a chat/wriggle around (no crying, cry content and out himself back to sleep!) but was up at 5 for the day.

I can cope with that though so I think we'll try afternoon nap skipping again today and will use a blanket again instead of the grobag. Goodness knows which, if either, helped but I'm going to keep doing it just in case!! X

 

[Mrs W 11]

I'm in a similar boat with my 7 month old. He's never slept through the night (which is fine, he used to wake once or twice for a feed and go back down) but recently he's started waking crying after only 30 mins to an hour and it can take an hour or two to get him back to sleep.

Co sleeping has helped but for a handful of reasons I don't really want to co sleep permanently or regularly. I was so excited to try shush pat when a friend reassured me that babies can't cry as well as hearing the shush and having the pat..... well mine can scream!!

So yeh.... you're not alone! It's tough! Following along for any other ideas!