Please -how can I help my friend ?-do's/don'ts

[schoolteacher]

Hi all and I hope you don't mind me asking for advice. My friend has just lost her baby at 27 weeks.
Myself and some other friends want to let her know we are thinking of her and are putting together a food hamper as one idea. What else could we do?
we don't want to further upset her but should we acknowledge that her baby girl who passed existed if only for a while inside her tummy? does that make sense? Of course we already have by saying things like 'she lived in you, she was real and safe and no one can ever take that away from you'.
By way of a card that in time might be nice to keep in a little box or something? along with the other mememtos they have?
or is that a bad idea?
Flowers yay or nay?
My son was in nicu for 6 weeks when born at 30 weeks and I remember talking to a lady there who's son had been born at 24 weeks and she was so upset that no one had sent cards or presents because to her that meant that she thought that everyone thought her baby would die.
I don't want our friend to think that will have or will forget her daughter.
Thanks x

 

[Leilani]

Yes to cards, yes to flowers, fantastic work on putting a hamper together, definitely acknowledge that she had a baby girl - it would be really inappropriate not to.

Have a look through the threads in this part of the forum, you'll find lots of very similar questions with lots of great advice.

 

[babesx3]

I agree yes to card and flowers, i was very upset that so few people acknowledged my baby boys existance.
A friend of mine did a memory plate with his name and date of birth on , with tiny footprints around the edge, to put up with the ones i have of my living children. It was such a thoughtful thing and means the world to me. x