Please reassure me after awful row with OH

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Bumpywilliams, Nov 12, 2011.

  1. Bumpywilliams

    Bumpywilliams Well-Known Member

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    :growlmad:Well I'm sat in the car crying after a horrible argument with OH. We never ever argue and this was one of the worst ever andnow I'm so upset that my baby will have heard it and been affected by it.

    It started because we are going out with some friends of hIs for a meal tonight and I got worked up because I didn't want to go to a bar first. It's quite a walk from the car park in heels and it's not a very nice bar to go to, and will be dead at 7pm... Anyway he was a bit madly but said fine have it your way.... I don't even know what happened next but I ended up knocking his bag of crisps into the sink and then he stormed upstairs and threw all my eBay stuff down the stairs which I had packed up ready to send out to people so I went nuts and was screaming at him and then he was coming towards me so I kicked him.

    I even told him uf something's happens to the baby it's all his fault . Of course I didn't mean it.

    We both screamed at each other so hard, I'm breaking my heart for my poor
    baby having hear it all. I just wish I could hold him and tell him it's ok.

    The worst thing is I know all if this is because of my bloody hormones, but he went so mad , calling me a psycho that I think I've really pushed him too far.

    We were supposed to be having a nice night tonight , meeting his friends and I've Gone and ruined everything. I told him I was going to my mums 120 miles away but I know it's not sensible to drive upset, so I'm only parked up down the road.

    I don't know why imwriting this, I guess just needed someone to talk to and I don't want to worry my mum.

    Thanks for reading xxx
     
  2. Jennifurball

    Jennifurball Mother of 1 and a bump!

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    Awww don't worry about bubs too much, they can't hear everything. Just rub your tummy and talk to baby gently, or put some nice music on in the car.

    I know it is horrible arguing. I was arguing and crying this morning and hate it because I worry what baby is feeling, just try and stay calm now.
     
  3. Liesje

    Liesje Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like something silly to get so worked up about and there's something else bothering him... ask him what his reaction was really about.
     
  4. lili_angel

    lili_angel New Mummy!! Can't Wait!!

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    Sweetheart, it's ok....please don't worry. Sit where you are & calm yourself down first. Unortunately your hormones have been triggered by a silly frustration but don't beat yourself up about it whatever you do!!! I know & understand the panic & horrible feelings you've got right now because I was feeling them last week....It's so hard to know where to put yourself but please be sensible....you're pregnant & upset & you can't drive all that way to your Mum's.

    I know it's hard, honestly I do, but you need to go back to speak to your OH...if you like show him this reply. I'll gladly say please don't blame her for her outburst have patience no matter how hard it gets because it's tough doing what she's doing right now....& even more so when you have no control at all. I'd tell him that you're not the only woman to have major outbursts like this & that the only reason why you take it out on your OH is because you know you're safe to because he loves dearly. It doesn't make it completely right her shouting at you, but it doesn't make it wrong either....at times like these no matter how angry she gets always reassure her you still love her & when she calms down she can come back to you & talk if she needs to.

    I really want you to clear the air & I do think a few hours or even an overnight stay at your Mum's just to do yourself a world of good...be pampered a little by your Mum. I did the same with my grandparents this week after rowing with my OH last week so bad we nearly split. I am so glad I did...it'll be ok.

    :hugs:
     
  5. Projectlover

    Projectlover Well-Known Member

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    Oh Lordy! Hugs from Hampshire. This sounds like one that started over next to nothing and snowballed. Do you think going to your mums will make things better or is it recoverable for the evening?
     
  6. Bumpywilliams

    Bumpywilliams Well-Known Member

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    Thanks xx

    I know it was my fault. When I started being grumpy he just made a joke of it and tried to cuddle me but it was me that pushed it. he did overeact about the crisps though. Lol.

    I hate how things got so out of control so quickly and I could feel it happening and new it was irrational but didn't know how to stop it.

    Thanks for listening xxx
     
  7. zizii

    zizii Well-Known Member

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    Rub your tummy :) talk to baby maybe go get something you like to eat. I know how you feel I have had some awful arguments with my husband ( just had one about half an hour ago) you can feel the strain ipoh your stomach when your shouting :(

    Your OH will b fine just go cheer yourself up for a while then go home. Or I'd just honestly go to my mums if you feel like it :) or just call her to feelbbetter. Mums male things better!

    But I'd suggest to go cheer yourself up :) if you lived near me I'd suggest we'd go have som cupcakes to cheer us both up!

    Xxxx
     
  8. Bumpywilliams

    Bumpywilliams Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for the Hampshire hugs and the great message from lili_angel. You are totally right.

    It's totally recoverable and I'll go and see him now. Now I just feel like a crazy irrational pregnant woman!!
     
  9. Bumpywilliams

    Bumpywilliams Well-Known Member

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    Yay, for cupcakes. Hmm will have to be virtual ones for now  darn it xx
     
  10. lili_angel

    lili_angel New Mummy!! Can't Wait!!

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    Lol! You are more than welcome honey....you know what I did as a 'joke' peace offering? I gave my OH a block of his favourite cheese purely because he'd said the other night "Give me red leceister anyday" & I wanted to show him I do listen/remember things he says.

    I think if he reads all your replies he'll be ok if you have another meltdown because he knows oyu have us to talk you back round!

    Hugs & let us know how it goes on!

    :hugs:
     
  11. Projectlover

    Projectlover Well-Known Member

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    Take him crisps!
     
  12. Jennifurball

    Jennifurball Mother of 1 and a bump!

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    LOL, these things happen. My friend threw cheesy crackers at her husband and they went everywhere, all over the kitchen, in his hair, and she left and made him clean it! :haha:

    You will laugh about it soon.
     
  13. j3ss

    j3ss Well-Known Member

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    :( Everything will be okay. My husband and I don't argue well at all, and we had a big one two nights ago. These fights are never fun, but I think pregnancy amplifies the intensity and makes you doubt everything.
     
  14. BeachyBronzer

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    Aww hope alls well with you and OH now. The cheese is a good idea lol!!
     
  15. amy19604

    amy19604 Well-Known Member

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