PND Support Thread

[moomin_troll]

my hv is really nice only been with her 4 months n shes said to me she will make a house call if i need her but i cant bring myself to make that phone call and im even more nervous to bring it up in clinic with people round so i cant win lol.

i think i will call her next week and have a chat. altho i think she knows there is a problem because she sent me a questionnaire in the post n told me to answer honestly

 

[Mama1985]

Hi, I just wanted to ask, am I being overdramtic if I am having sucidal thoughts because I can't bond with my baby?....I already feel like I am a failure as a mum because I dont have any mum love for her at all, i feel...indifferent, emotional numb? dead inside....and I feel like I am a bad person and that I don't deserve her at all.... now im sitting here having suicdal thoughts and I just wanted to know if its just me being over the top?

 

[snettyb]

to all the newcomers, i'm so sorry your suffering too

I am feeling ok atm, fewer bad days and more smiles from me lately. The doc says its coz my pills have started working. I have a date for my psychologist appointment (22nd July) and i'm looking forward to making the next step to getting better. My HV came to see me today (again!! lol) and i just let it all out and i think i have finally got to the bottom of my depression, the HV wants me to tell the psychologist everything i admited to her today. She says that if they don't refer me then she has a plan to help me herself

Its not over by a long shot but i see a glimmer of hope at the end of that long tunnell xxx

 

[snettyb]

Hi, I just wanted to ask, am I being overdramtic if I am having sucidal thoughts because I can't bond with my baby?....I already feel like I am a failure as a mum because I dont have any mum love for her at all, i feel...indifferent, emotional numb? dead inside....and I feel like I am a bad person and that I don't deserve her at all.... now im sitting here having suicdal thoughts and I just wanted to know if its just me being over the top?

Are you alone? if so call someone you trust and can open up too. I got this bad a couple of weeks ago and i text a close friend who rang me and calmed me down. Call the samaritans if you have to hun!!

All us ladies on this thread have been there sweety, your not being dramatic at all. If you don't feel like you can speak to anyone, i will stay on here and talk to you xx

 

[moomin_troll]

Hi, I just wanted to ask, am I being overdramtic if I am having sucidal thoughts because I can't bond with my baby?....I already feel like I am a failure as a mum because I dont have any mum love for her at all, i feel...indifferent, emotional numb? dead inside....and I feel like I am a bad person and that I don't deserve her at all.... now im sitting here having suicdal thoughts and I just wanted to know if its just me being over the top?

ur not being overdramatic at all we are all on different stages and types of pnd and urs seems like ur very bad, are u getting help from ur doc/hv?

if not give them a call.

u may not feel like ur bonding with ur baby but im sure u are and that lo needs u to be strong n fight this awful illness we all have.

 

[Mama1985]

thanks, my mum has come over now, my OH called her (before the sucidal thoughts) because he had to go down the hospital and I got the HV coming tomorrow, so already knows about how im feeling (apart from the suicdal thoughts) so I'll tell her tomorrow

 

[moomin_troll]

also molly is still so young, i found it hard to bond with zane but even with my troubles i have bonded with him now and hes my world i love him so much i just hate the fact im feeling like this and cant give him my full attention and all the love he deserves.

u will get there soon just give it time, a newborn is so stressful as it is with all the not knowing what they need and how to do things if shes ur first anyway, i was a right state

 

[kmh2009]

oh no, its all blown out of control now. health visitor came to assess me today. filled in that questionnaire and chatted for a couple of hours. shes really concerned, referring me to a mental health team at the hospital aside from gp referring me for counselling. ive now got lots of people ringing and visiting due to high conerns. i almost wish i hadnt said anything in the first place

 

[snettyb]

Same here KMH, it got a bit outta hand IMO. HV is coming every week, i have to see my doc every week and seeing a psychologist as well i know its all to help us but it seems a bit much don't it.

I had a long chat to my HV and it all came flooding out. I think i know what the cause of my depression is and i am sorry to say it is my son, not the new born, but my 7 year old. Some days i can't even look at him!! I was in an abusive relationship with his dad (another story) and he looks like the double of him and whenever i see kieran, i see his dad. Since Jake was born i have this overwhelming love for him and i think the depression is here coz i can't feel that for kieran, i barely like him never mind love him

I hope this all makes sense. I feel good that i have identified the problem but i can't see it ever being fixed xx

 

[Shifter]

snetty - identifying the problem and talking about it will probably help. Counselling or CBT would probably be very beneficial, CBT in particular can really help retrain how you think about things and what you associate certain things/people with.

kmh.

I hope you both get the help you need.

 

[ALY]

to all of you xxxxxx

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr im having a shit night and i dont really no why
all i want to do is cry i dont no what is up with me but i just feel so left out
i really hope i feel better tomorro xx

 

[elm]

to everyone especially all the new people xxx

Hi Aly, I hope your night improved since you wrote that - you seem to be having lots of good days too, hope tomorrow is a really good day for you xxxx

eta. I always forget to put how I'm doing!! I've had a pretty good day today, went out with DP and Elliot after having a bit of a rough start. I've not got another cbt session for over two weeks so I feel a bit like everything is on hold. I think if I start feeling better I'll start lacking motivation with the therapy!! x

 

[ALY]

Elm i feel a lot better this morning i think i was just been paronoid last night
And the kids did nothing but be naughty

Am so pleased you had a good day yesterday

 

[kmh2009]

not had a very good night myself hugs to all you others who didnt. Everything got stirred up yesterday and it played on my mind all night.

Also, what does cbt mean? i cant figure it out.
(
Snetty, same here bout seeing hv every week, phyciatrists booked in and gp....

 

[ALY]

CBT means congenative behaviour therapy

If you type that in to google hun it will tell you all you need to no as iv not had it

 

[nataliecn]

I always skip this thread for some reason and go rant in the Canadian girls section! This is where I should be on bad days, but I always forget!

Went to my doctor Monday - was giving anti-depressants to help. They haven't kicked in yet. She said up to 4 weeks. That's a long time. Hopefully they kick in soon!

Yesterday we had a really bad day. He was bad in the morning, we went to Vickie's to visit her and Hannah, and he was fine there, and then about 2 minutes from the apartment he was bad again! Luckily my FIL came and picked him up on his way home from work, and he's with his nana and papa til Sunday night around 5 when we go get him! I'm really hoping having the weekend off helps me in some way, but I don't think it will because usually after a break, when I get frustrated, it's like he never left!

Hope everyone has a good day today!

 

[elm]

Glad you're having a better day today Aly x

Hope your day is improving khm and yours natalie - hope the break helps.

xxx

 

[Kimboowee]

Hiya, hope you don't mind me posting here.

I was 'diagnosed' with pnd at babys 6 week check last week. Im to go back on wednesday to see what my normal doc suggests.

Will they just give me anti-depressents or is there other things they do before hand? I don't really know what to expect tbh x

 

[ALY]

Awww hun sorry you have this too

It all depends on the doc hun some just give anti ds others give anti ds and counciling and some just counciling
He may ask you how you want to treat it hun and as long as he thinks it will help you he should go for your choice x
Hope that made sence hun

 

[Shifter]

It totally depends on what you want hun, you don't have to accept any treatment you aren't comfortable with.

I feel better today, it definitely did me good to get out and meet peeps