PND Support Thread

[jenny_wren]

have a bit more patience today i think
but im still feeling rough looking forward
to my doctors app on friday actually there's
a few things i wanna get off my chest and
im hoping he's going to up my dose for me
40mg doesn't seem to do the job anymore

carolyn good on you telling your hv
im quite lucky ive got a nice one who'll
actually sit and chat for hours if i need too
but yea pop back to the doctors hopefully
they'll get it sorted for you

xx​

 

[jem_5500]

PND? tiredness? cold?!

i am 3weeks pp tday, so not sure if too early for pnd, i have a history of depressiob and past few days oli been tough, feeding all the time, crying all the time not sleeping. my boobs ate so sore i yelp eveytime he latches although more comfy once on. i am exhausted, headache, lochia started red again after stopping and ow i cannot stop crying! I have taken to keaving oli for few m ins in favpur of sorting something out whic i feel guity about after, i adore him and its aweird feeling i have at the moment i cannot explain.

when oli sleeps i cannot sleep i try but cant, i am irratable and snappy with dh and kinda cant b arsed! scared coz these are signs i had 3 years ago nd i went ito self destruct and i cant go there again for oli and toms sake.

is it tiredness and am i overreacting to this or should i seek advice i cant go on meds as made me go nuts last time.

 

[jem_5500]

jenny what meds u on, i noticed u say u on 40mg and hoping to up? wheni was ill 3 years ago i was upped to 60mg prozac and it in fact made me worse, not saying for any other reason than be aware honey i would not want anyone going thru what i we did!

 

[asacia]

Jem, if you have a history of depression, I'd mention how you are feeling to the GP or HV. I was told by the HV that before 6 weeks it can't be PND, but I saw my GP the next day who put me back on medication. They didn't want to take any chances with my history.

I've got the flu, which is a pain because there is a new prescription waiting for me at the GPs and I need to go and get it! Can barely walk upstairs, let alone to the pharmacy though.

 

[jenny_wren]

i was on citalopram jem

went to the docs today and he's changed my pills

im now on 50mg (2 tablets) of dosulepin which i have to take
about an hour before going to bed they have less
side affects as well so hopefully i'll get along a bit
better with these ones and he's hoping they'll make
me sleep better too so i start these ones tomorrow night



had a good old moan to him as well which was good

anyone else on these?

apparently they're prescribed if other pills dont work?

xx​

 

[asacia]

I've not taken dosulepin, but I have taken other tricyclics that are in the same class, Imipramine and Lofepramine. Imipramine is very similar, one used when other antidepressants don't.

I start on Sertraline in a few days, once I get over the flu. 11th time lucky (or is this 12th? I've lost count!). Not looking forward to it, it is an SSRI and I've refused to take them for a while as I had a very bad experience with Citalopram and Seroxat, but the Pyschiatrist thinks I should try it.

 

[bumpsmum]

seen HV today and within hours she had phoned to say 'Its nothing to be worried about but I have asked a community psychiatric nurse to see you', then the nurse calls who just happens to have a cancellation for tomo morning! Should I be worried??? Im sitting here panicking now that they think I cant cope and will take Matthew away, can they do that?????

 

[asacia]

Bumpsmum, no it is just routine to often get seen quickly, they just want to assess you. I once had an emergency appointment at a weekend with a CPN, only to be told I was fine and didn't need help! They are there to support you, and it isn't a sign of not coping.

If it is any help, I used to see a CPN regularly, and will be re-assigned someone soon.

 

[bumpsmum]

thanks, it just all seemed a bit too sudden. I did ask HV to find out how long a referral to psychiatry took so hopefully this is to help in the mean time. I told her last week we were sitting in a coffee shop and my mind wandered as it does and I had a terrible thought of 'what if' concerning the baby that im too ashamed to talk about openly and guess I thought the worse.

What can I expect from this 'assessment' is it routine they come in pairs? sorry for the 20 questions im nervous xx

 

[jenny_wren]

ive not had a cpn i dont think
what do they do?

my new pills are going well so far
the first night it took me ages to
get to sleep but last night was brilliant
and im only getting a few side affects
and feel positive atm

so far so good
but ive only just started on them so
fx'd they're better than the others

xx​

 

[asacia]

My first assessment was with two, but the next was just a single lady on her own, so it could be either.

CPNs are lovely, I've met a few and they are relly kind and caring. They ask a few questons - your background, how you feel, how you cope.

My CPN would help access help, discuss how I was feeling, recommemd groups, ad would help me get prescriptions when I wasn't able to go out. They can help with coping techniques and keep an eye on you. It is usually more regular than Pyschiatrist apps.

 

[asacia]

My first assessment was with two, but the next was just a single lady on her own, so it could be either.

CPNs are lovely, I've met a few and they are relly kind and caring. They ask a few questons - your background, how you feel, how you cope.

My CPN would help access help, discuss how I was feeling, recommemd groups, ad would help me get prescriptions when I wasn't able to go out. They can help with coping techniques and keep an eye on you. It is usually more regular than Pyschiatrist apps.

 

[jenny_wren]

i'm having a BAD day
so far so good my arse
i hate this so much i just wanna be a normal
loving mum but instead ive got a screaming
baby in her cot and me crying at the computer

i really do sometimes wish everything was
how it was before i had her everything was
so much easier

and i hate myself for thinking that too
its not her fault and yet all i wanna do
is blame her for the way things are

​

 

[asacia]

Sorry to hear that Jenny. I can totally empathise, Toby is in a grumpy mood today (he is a bit stuffed up) and I just keep crying and crying. Managed to get out to Clinic today, and I didn't want to come home. I hate my house, the state I live in. I want to be normal, happy. I want to get dressed every day. I want to do things. I didn't realise how hard it would be.

I feel so trapped, isolated and alone. I really need to learn to drive, but I'm scared to leave LO with anyone and I'm scared if I do learn to drive, I'll just crash the car into a brick wall on purpose.

It will get better though, hopefully medication will help soon and you'll feel a little bit brighter. You are doing a fab job though, you really are.

 

[bumpsmum]

jenny I know how you feel having a shit day too and often think life was so much simpler before, is there anyone who can give you a break, some time away from emily?

well CPN came and went, was really difficult/emotional/tiring and draining but im glad they came and I was open. She says I def have PND but meds im on no good, cant remember exact phrase she used but that my 'thoughts' were spiralling and we needed to learn 'safer' means of dealing with them rather than replacing one behaviour with another. She is going to speak to the consultant psychiatrist tomo and thinks a low dose anti-psychotic will help and should be seen really quick. Ill also have weekly input from CPN weekly for at least 4 weeks and a consultation with a psychiatrist. So much crap came flooding out and that was just her taking background/history info, everytime we touched on something that set me of again it was quite intense (but in a good way, does that make sense)

I told her my biggest fear was that once I start dealing with things I have refused to for so long Im worried ill fall apart in a heap on the floor and not get up again. I just want to feel normal and happy - I have the most gorgeous healthy son that we wanted so badly WHY CANT I JUST ENJOY
LIFE!!!

Its gonna be a tough couple of months and I NEED to go back to work in Jan I cant afford to go on half pay x

 

[jenny_wren]

i dont think i need a break
just needed a good old cry
haven't had one in a while

feel a bit better now

emily was on the kitchen side
while i was washing up and the cow
threw the tin of milk next to her
onto the floor and it went everything
she had the proudest grin on her face as well
and i just laughed it off

i hate my house as well just think
you get my miserable company next week
though abbey lol

good to hear you got everything out bumpsmum
its such a relief when you just let everything off your chest
and hopefully its a step towards being happy again

hugs all round xx​

 

[asacia]

Why do you hate your house? It was so clean and tidy and uncluttered. I would invite you all round but I'm so ashamed.

 

[lillysmum]

hugs to you all girls, it gets so over whelming and all you wanna do is scream about it. x

 

[jenny_wren]

Why do you hate your house? It was so clean and tidy and uncluttered. I would invite you all round but I'm so ashamed.

me and jason cleaned it especially

we're rearranged the living room now as well
so its not so uncluttered anymore

xx​

 

[bumpsmum]

yesterday was a real tough day, my OH was off work n place was a mess so he was cleaning and huffing and puffing at the state of the place, more frustrated with himself for letting things get so bad but that was me in tears most of the morning!

I threw myself into card making to distract myself from bad thoughts I knew would follow which was fine til bedtime when I went into overload.

Today I feel like utter crap dont want to move and Matthew been up last 3 nights with teething, im so tired thank god we bought him a walker yest hoping he'll entertain himself for a bit, is that bad? x