PND Support Thread

[bumpsmum]

all round today girls we need it!

abblebubble BIG I cant imagine what your going through we are all here if you need us, stay strong and try and get some rest xxxxx

 

[goddess25]

Just thought I would look this up... My son is now 9 months old, i have been struggling on and off but I think its more through isolation than PND. Who knows!

The past few weeks have been pretty crap... I live here with my husband but I am from Scotland, I have no support network here and thats my biggest thing. All my close friends and family are at home and i feel as if i am struggling a bit. I have virtually had no break since he was born although my husband does help out at weekends on his days off.
I feel fed up and emotionally things are up and down. One minute I have no real feelings for my son although I still provide all the physical care and the next minute I love him to death and he melts my heart. He is a good baby, he sleeps through the night, eats well and plays well. I find it difficult to interact with him properly though sometimes in the day time, as I dont feel intersted. I dont have any of the other symptoms mentioned on here.

What do you girls think? Can PND manifest itself so late? DO you think I am feeling this way due to missing home so much? I feel so isolated. I dont want to go to the doctor but at the same time i feel as if something is wrong.
I find myself thinking I wish i had not done this but at the same time i love him. I

 

[kaylynn040485]

Just thought I would look this up... My son is now 9 months old, i have been struggling on and off but I think its more through isolation than PND. Who knows!

The past few weeks have been pretty crap... I live here with my husband but I am from Scotland, I have no support network here and thats my biggest thing. All my close friends and family are at home and i feel as if i am struggling a bit. I have virtually had no break since he was born although my husband does help out at weekends on his days off.
I feel fed up and emotionally things are up and down. One minute I have no real feelings for my son although I still provide all the physical care and the next minute I love him to death and he melts my heart. He is a good baby, he sleeps through the night, eats well and plays well. I find it difficult to interact with him properly though sometimes in the day time, as I dont feel intersted. I dont have any of the other symptoms mentioned on here.


What do you girls think? Can PND manifest itself so late? DO you think I am feeling this way due to missing home so much? I feel so isolated. I dont want to go to the doctor but at the same time i feel as if something is wrong.
I find myself thinking I wish i had not done this but at the same time i love him. I

Hi hun, yeah i think it can because although i think ive felt this way for a while its only recently its stepped up and by daughter is 7 months. Where in scotland r u from? Im just outside glasgow. I dont have any of the "normal" syptoms of pnd although think everyone is different, i feel crap in myself and have no problems with jessica so think it can really vary. Have u spoke to gp or anything? Kx

 

[kaylynn040485]

Hi girls, posted in the mental illness group but didnt realise this thread existed and think i belong more here. Ive been diagnosed with pnd and been prescribed escitalopram, apparently because i suffer with migranes these tabs will hopefully stop me developing migranes due to stress. Ive not started them and tbh im struggling coming to terms with having pnd. I keep kidding myself on i dont have it and because i have had bad bowel problems since giving birth i keep blaming that which i know is wrong. Think my main fear is that my baby gets taken off me, h/v came to c me last week and kept saying how well jesscia was doign which was reassuring and i know she is well cared for and loved but i still worry. Small worries keep getting escalated in my mind so i dont sleep and worry for days, my poor OH is getting such a hard time from me and no matter how much i try not to moan i cant help myself. Just dunno how to accept the help and begin the medication! Kx

 

[helz81]

Can anyone help me please? Im not sure if I have pnd or not. For the past few days I've gradually felt more and more miserable and depressed,wanting to cry. Then today,the floodgates have burst open and I feel so down and miss my mum so so much. She died just over a year ago (28 October 08) and although I cried and missed her,it's only since I had my baby 3 weeks ago that I can't stop thinking about her and wish she was still here Now she has gone,I'm stuck with my dad living with me,OH and our 3 kids while he is in the UK (he has a place in Spain) and I'm at breaking point. He is a lazy arrogant boring old fart and I've been thinking awful thoughts that I wished it had been him who died not my mum. I hate myself for thinking like this but I can't help it. She would have offered me so much help and support with the kids and would have known when she was in the way or not. I've just had a baby for gods sake but he doesn't seem to care. I'll never get these precious first weeks back with my baby. He doesn't go out anywhere,just sits on his arse playing stupid games on laptop, he's always there,making noise,theres never any peace for me and my baby. I even feel uncomfortable feeding in my own house (breastfeeding) I really resent him for being around Hi and my husband don't get on,so the atmosphere in the house is horrific all the time. He's only been here 8 days so far and he's not going back to Spain untill 8th January!!!!!

 

[Lulu]

Helz, I'm no expert but I've recently been diagnosed with depression and part of what you are describing feels like how I've been feeling. Part of what I've been struggling with is that my mum died 14 years ago and recently it feels just as raw as it did all those years ago. This is my first baby so I'm fairly clueless and I just know that she would have been able to help me with things without me even needing to ask.

I don't know if this is PND but it does definitely sound like you need some kind of support. And tell your dad to get up off his bum every now and again?!!

 

[carolyn_s]

big welcome to everyone who has just joined...
and hugs to all the other girls!

hope everyone is coping.. keep your heads up... im living by the motto that things can only get better... xx

 

[AP]

Everytime I try to post in here something stupid happens! Wifi cuts out, page gets stuck......

The HV gave me the postnatal depression questionnaire the other week and I scored a 'borderline' result of '10'. She said normally anymore than that shes think it'd be the route of help and tablets, but because of everything that happened with me and OH and Alex being early, she thinks I could really benefit. I burst into tears and spent two flippin hours with her crying.

So I'm being refered to a councellor, she said going to the place that OH went to might help and id get seen quicker, but i begrudge paying all that money when my SMP is about to end.(its a charity place but they still expect a minimum of £15 a session) So I'll wait for her referral instead.

Being on holiday did not help, I think it put more pressure on me pretending to be all calm and nicey nicey in front of OH's family. I started getting really narky and even got annoyed when they started taking pictures of her. i dont know why, it just sends me into a fury.

It got worse when Alex had her first bath with someone. got into the big tub on holiday with her and the whole family sat in the bathroom like an audience, and taking pictures. I walked away and couldnt even watch them take that precious first moment away from me. It was something i felt should have been shared by me and OH, in fact, it should have been me and HER! Im broken hearted just thinking about it.

I find that the moment Alex gets ill or is uncomfortable in anyway, thats when I cant cope. Lack of sleep doesnt help but OH does everything to help. I say some horrible things when i'm tired, like I hope someone takes her away from me. i dont really mean it.

When I told him about the PND he nodded as if he already knew.

And a major factor in all this is that I dont really want to have 'just one child'. The plan was to have another when Alex is 2 and we are happy with her reaching milestones (ideally).

But I find this so so hard, I dont know if I can do it again. And that really hurts me.

 

[jenny_wren]

Hi girls, posted in the mental illness group but didnt realise this thread existed and think i belong more here. Ive been diagnosed with pnd and been prescribed escitalopram, apparently because i suffer with migranes these tabs will hopefully stop me developing migranes due to stress. Ive not started them and tbh im struggling coming to terms with having pnd. I keep kidding myself on i dont have it and because i have had bad bowel problems since giving birth i keep blaming that which i know is wrong. Think my main fear is that my baby gets taken off me, h/v came to c me last week and kept saying how well jesscia was doign which was reassuring and i know she is well cared for and loved but i still worry. Small worries keep getting escalated in my mind so i dont sleep and worry for days, my poor OH is getting such a hard time from me and no matter how much i try not to moan i cant help myself. Just dunno how to accept the help and begin the medication! Kx

aw kay hun im so sorry seems it got another april mummy
you know where i am if you need me
might be worth having a chat with your doctor or hv though
and start the ball rolling its hard to except help but its the
best thing for everyone trust me its horrible suffering alone

huge hugs xx​

 

[jenny_wren]

hugs to the new girlies in here
sorry you had to join us

dont be afraid to ask for help ladies
it only gets worse if you keep it bottled up

anyones needs me im always about

xx​

 

[helz81]

Thanks for the warm welcome,although I really didn't wanna be posting here.
Things got worse here, I've been able to hide things from people quite well up untill yesterday morning when I burst into tears in school playground after dropping kids off my friends were fantastic with me,came back to my house with me for a cuppa and a cuddle,listened to me tell them the recent problems with my dad. After a while I went to one of my friends houses instead (to get away from my dad!!) and made the mistake of texting my husband to tell him what a shit morning I was having..well I got a phonecall from him an hor later telling me he'd been home to have it out with my dad..things got very heated and hubby ended up hitting my dad and my dad got my hubby round the throat
Went back to the house an hour after him phoning to tell me what had happened and my dad had gone. Posted keys through front door letterbox. I waited till kids were in bed then sent him a txt asking him to text me back and let me know where he was and that we have to get this sorted once and for all..can't keep pretending everythings ok us all living in eachothers space!! All he replied back was that he was staying with his brother till at least Monday and did I get my keys back that he'd posted throu letterbox?!
I feel sick...!

 

[carolyn_s]

well ladies, i have news... i dont know what made me do it but i took a pregnancy test yesterday and it was positive (so was the second one i did) so im off to the dr's 2moro... looks like number 2 could be on the way!!
im happy and scared at the same time :/ worried the dr will take me off the anti depressants or they have done some damage already... im full of questions...2moro cant come quick enough!!

 

[carolyn_s]

well its been confirmed, number 2 is on the way im about 10 weeks - first scan on 9th! i didnt realise it was possible to be so happy yet so scared at the same time...ive gone from 40mg citalopram and to 20mg and im going to 10mg next week them im coming off them...i want to do the right thing by tadpole but im scared i go back to the way i was panic attacks etc wont help at all...xx

 

[bumpsmum]

oh HUGE congratulations Carolyn sorry I missed your earlier post was away for weekend and only catching up. Im really pleased your happy about the pregnancy esp when your not feeling great. Im sure you'll be too happy planning for the baby to suffer anymore panic. Im sure its 3rd tri before medication is an issue but prob best reduce things now to see how you are coping x x

 

[bumpsmum]

how is everyone today?

things have not been too good for me last few days (see Matthew has bronchilitus thread in prem section) and have had a shaky few days, seeing psychiatrist on tue hoping he will review my meds as I cant sleep on the fluoxetine at all xxx

 

[feisty_filly]

hi all, i have been feeling down the last few days but then my baby is only 6 days old so im wondering if its just the baby blues, any way iv had my mum staying with me for the last week to help out as my hubbie is back to work and shes leaving tomorow and im dreading it. every time i think about being left on my own with my wee one i panic and start to cry! im so scared about it! i know im probrably just being silly but i cant help it...

 

[bumpsmum]

congrats on your new bundle hun, looks gorgeous. A such an early stage id say baby blues and hormones although it might not feel like that at the time those first few days on your own are tough but you will get through them dont put any pressure on yourself to do things just spend time with bubs and try and rest up and come on here to talk if you want x

 

[carolyn_s]

hey filly hope your ok.
bumpsmum is mathew ok? im sorry to hear he has been poorly.

i dont want to moan anymore on here everyone must be bored lol but since my meds have been halved i feel on the verge of a breakdown...not sure i can hold it together much longer x

 

[AP]

Carolyn,

Congratulations honey, have you spoke to the GP about how you're feeing now the tablets have been halfed?

Here in sb22-land, I have a induction type thing with a counsellor next week. she already pissed me off because she offered a creche place for Alex. I told her no because she has very bad reflux and therefore I would prefer her to be with her Dad. She started being really awkward as if to say "Whats your problem??" Grrrrrr....

I have been feeling a little calmer and I think this is down to going out at least once during the day, even if it is for something daft.

 

[carolyn_s]

feel like im having a complete meltdown. OH isnt talking ot me and nothing going right.

going to stay with family - back in a few days girls! xx