PND Support Thread

[bumpsmum]

x

 

[Marleysgirl]

Someone on another forum said that they've just been diagnosed with PND as the result of a questionnaire, and described themselves as feeling low, exhausted, and trying to please everyone else at the expense of herself.

I thought this was normal post-baby?

I'm feeling all these things, like I don't know whether I'm doing things right, feeling completely drained (expressing & bottle feeding), trying to hold things together at home (OH not well, but has to be bullied to doctors, waiting for operation date), and losing my sense of myself.

I haven't seen my HV since 4wks after Andrew's birth (when he was still in NICU), we're both still under the outreach midwives but they only come weekly and they concentrate on Andrew's well-being.

I was just gonna avail myself of the free Healthy Start vitamins and see if that perked me up, but now I'm wondering whether I'm feeling something more towards PND? Or am I just blowing things out of proportion?

 

[bumpsmum]

hey Marleysgirl sorry your feeling a bit low. As you say it is common to feel a bit off after having a baby but you also (not that you have to!) remind yourself that you had a very traumatic birth and having a premature baby is very stressful, even talking about your experience and having a friendly ear will help.

Sounds like you do have a lot going on in your life and juggling alot of commitments and concerns, so feling like this is completely understandable. However Id maybe enquire next time midwife pops in that you are not feeling great and see if she has any advice. Your HV maybe has taken a back seat as you and Andrew are still tehnically under the care of the midwifes but it may be worth popping into baby clinic or giving her a call to chat.

There is a questionnaire that either HV or your GP can go through which basically gives you a range of feelings to certain stimuli I think (but not sure) that a score over 16-17??? something like that indicates PND

https://www.fresno.ucsf.edu/pediatrics/downloads/edinburghscale.pdf

Im not sure if this is the current form but it gives you an idea of what is involved and if you feel you are answering a high score maybe speak to HV/GP/midwife for advice.

Hope you start to feel better soon and you know where I am if you need me xx

 

[bumpsmum]

I have my appointment with the psychiatrist at 2pm today and im very nerovous...........didnt sleep at all last night and a bit shaky today not sure what to expect but Id imagine there will be snot and tears. Hoping my meds get changed and maybe even a low dose sleeping tablet but who knows???

How is everyone else getting on? Carolyn hope your resting up and back with us soon, chin up chick xx

 

[carolyn_s]

im back bumpsmum...how did your appointment go?

ive gone from 40mg citalopram to sweet FA in less than 2 weeks. a good moan at a friends mum (who is like a mum to me) did the trick and im feeling better.

my temper is still like a very short fuse to a lot of explosives but im ok today.

on a happy note... DATING SCAN 2MORO yey...get to find out how many weeks i am xx

 

[kmh2009]

not doing good

 

[bumpsmum]

glad to see your feeling better Carolyn and so excited for you for tomo let us know how you get on! Rem prob pregnancy hormones contributing to the short fuse as well, although personally think its a little quick to take you off the meds so soon but hopefully midwifes etc will offer you some more support.

Well last night I thought the psy was a waste of space! but now I have had time to think about it I prob had high expectations and feel a little better, my medication has been halved with a few to coming of it and onto a diff one next week, so hoping I can FINALLY sleep . Not sure if I like the guy didnt get a good vibe, he was asking I f I had any suicidal thoughts I said no BUT....................and started to explain a scenario I had he totally cut me off and said 'but thats not a suicidal thought thats an irrationa thought' didnt get to finish what I was saying and just feel stupid so not too sure...................

Got letter from CPN and have now been located a keyworker who will visit me next week for 6 weeks, however her title on the letter was 'social worker' somehow that puts me on edge x

 

[bumpsmum]

hey Kirsty glad to see you back did time with your parents help?

you know where I am if you need to chat xx

 

[carolyn_s]

my world is crashing down around me and all i can do is cry...x

 

[bumpsmum]

oh no hope everything is ok? xxxxxxx

 

[saraendepity]

Looks like i'm gonna be back here, thought things were getting better but feeling those horrible things again, think i'm gonna have to get bac to the doctors again....... to everyone who is feeling the strain at the moment

sara

xxxxxxxx

 

[AP]

Oh ladies maybe its Christmas, the sheer stress of it all, I dunno

I went to the intro thing with the counsellor. I tell you what, I gave her her wages worth. She is probably writing to Eastenders now with my story as a suggestion for their next plot

I sat with her for an hour and explained

• i had alex 12 weeks early
• and 4 days after i discovered OH was having an affair
• and alexs problems
• and the nippy MIL
• and trying to get used to my OH who has really changed, and it weird

and then she asked what my previous relationships were like. To which I sat laughing for a good minute or so before explaining

• My ex turned out to be a gay prostitute(im not even kidding!)

So she was sure I had PND after I explained everything, and wants me to go to group sessions. Where I think I will just put up front.

No happy! I feel like she just pushed me into accepting and I dont want to discuss this awful situation to even more people!

Girls, I realy hope you're laughing at the gay prostitute thing. You couldnt make this stuff up If i wasnt laughing I'd cry.

 

[saraendepity]

omg omg....sory ha to have a little chuckle!!

 

[AP]

i know. i guess making a mock of things helps me get by!

Really not happy with the idea of group therapy though

 

[xkirstyx]

omg sb!!!! my eyes nearky popped out wen i read that haha x

 

[bumpsmum]

Im in process of weaning of my meds (prozac) to go onto new ones tomo but even halving the dose I feel 100% better n wondering If I should ask to stay as is for a while longer? What do you think?

How is everyone - anyone heard from Carolyn bit worried about her and the baby x

 

[jenny_wren]

sorry i haven't been around in here much girlies

still the same just on different meds AGAIN
i will find ones that work

im on 50mg amitriptyline fun fun fun
they've not given me so many side affects but
its only been 2 weeks ...

i gave up on the other ones as they made me
so angry i didn't feel in control i was either angry
or crying so i gave up on them quick before i did
something serious

emily's doing really well though, she's alot more
cuddly recently as well which is quite nice
and you know how everyone goes on about how
they cry with joy when they look at their babies
well i got that the other day so i think maybe somewhere
inside me it's getting a bit better
i still wouldn't say i LOVE her but i think im
beginning to warm to her iykwim so im hoping it
carrys on and the older she gets the more loving
i get ... im hoping anyways

hugs to those who need them

xx​

 

[AC81]

Hello. I don't post an awful lot, but I feel like its time I made an effort. I finally admitted that I had a problem to my doctor a few months ago and she diagnosed it as PND. I've been treated for depression since my early 20s but came off medication as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I swear I was so happy throughout my pregnancy and felt amazing - I never wanted it to end. Anyway things slowly got worse for me and when Erin was 9 months old, I felt ready to snap. I couldnt concentrate at work, I wasn't eating, was losing weight, crying all the time and generally felt like shit. I didn't enjoy anything.

I've been taking citalopram for about 4 months now and was starting to feel pretty good, but lately all these old feelings have come back. The worst feeling is the guilt. I feel guilty about everything that I do. I feel like I don't do enough for my baby, I feel like I don't look after her properly, because I'm so preoccupied with feeling guilty about leaving Erin while I go to work, I am not even doing my job properly. I told DH about it and he just says to stop being silly because I'm a great mum. But I don't feel that way. I feel like I love her so much, but I don't deserve her.

I have no family or close friends here, all my family live in Australia. I don't fit it with the people at my mothers group, I feel like they all have their circles of friends already. At work, I'm a part-timer so always feel excluded anyway - out of the loop. I really don't know what to do. I hate feeling like this. Stupidly I want another baby - something else I feel guilty about.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on. I just wanted to say hi to all you other PND suffering mums.

 

[saraendepity]

hi ac81 - i can totally relate to the guilty thing hun..no matter what i d it just seems like i am doing the wrong thing and i start feeling guilty about it

i've had a really really shit (sorry) day today, Daisy is teething really badly and just wont seem to sit or lie and play by herself for any time at all but doesnt want to be held and the weaning just isnt really going well ...... really feel like crap .... supposed to have MIL round for lunch tomorro but i think i'm gonna cancel it cos i just cant handle having people round and gonna see if OH can get tomorro off i just feel so so so so shitty (sorry again)

 

[carolyn_s]

hi girls!!

sorry i dissapeared...back now ...unfortunately!! nothing against you huys of course.
so in the life of me...
go from 40mg citalopram to sweet FA in just over a week. group sessions stop for christmas, have an almighty row with OH, LO gets ill, i have problems with the pregnancy, fight with my sis (which has never happened before)... i could go on but i wont!!
now that my pregnancy hormone has kicked in im feeling a lot better, almost 'normal' but im not counting my eggs before they are hatched.
OH half grovelled and we have made up, LO is better now just got the remains of an eye infection left, my tummy pain has stopped (touch wood) so things are looking up...

im hoping for no more 'blips' in the festive period!!

im embracing being pregnant for the second time and enjoying everyone making a fuss..

SB22 - i pretty much had to be dragged kicking and screaming to group sessions but it wasnt how i imagined at all....it wasnt sitting in a circle discussing your feelings... i got practical advice from HV's and made some really good friends who would run at the drop of a hat if i said i felt poopy!! My advice would be its worth going once if its not your thing you only lost out on an hour or so and no1 will force you to go back...

jenny and bumpsmum...how are you guys getting on? ive missed everyones chat lol


BIG HUGS everyone!!!

xxxx