PND Support Thread

[MiissMuffet]

im not coping very well at the moment ​

neither hun
x

 

[jenny_wren]

im not coping very well at the moment ​

neither hun
x

​

 

[Momma2Bee]

Um hi -wave-
Lol. I feel extreamly silly saying this... but my doctors 'diagnosed' me with PND. So yeah, hello.

 

[MiissMuffet]

Um hi -wave-
Lol. I feel extreamly silly saying this... but my doctors 'diagnosed' me with PND. So yeah, hello.

x

 

[MiissMuffet]

i have mastitis so i feel even more terrible today. so glad it the weekend and OH is home!

 

[Lozziepop]

I'm really nervous about posting in here, I have been hovering for a while

I had a lovely pregnancy and really enjoyed it. And to cut a long story short I had a traumatic birth (not THAT traumatic compared to other ladies experiences but still traumatic to me)
Ever since the birth I have felt weird, numb and not myself at all.
I feel strong hatred towards my OH.
I love my little boy completely and I haven't had any trouble bonding with him at all, he is my world and if it wasn't for him I think I would have completely given up by now.
Gradually my depression has got worse since the birth and now I feel I am at breaking point
I can't cope, I don't want to live here anymore, I don't want to be with my OH anymore. I don't even feel able to talk to the people around me.
I feel alone, completely alone
My little boy deserves a much better mummy than me, someone who doesn't have all these problems like me
I suffer with panic attacks and am agoraphobic.
I hate my life apart from my little boy, he is what keeps me here every day.
sorry for going on

 

[gemini xo]

i feel awful, I've thought it was just lack of sleep but it's gone on for a few weeks now. i had a great pregnancy, my boy was born at 35 weeks though without any warning and didn't come home until he was 3 weeks old. when he came home I was coping fine, the problem is now I have nearly every sign of PND & feel so ashamed of how I am! i just feel like i've got no time or interest in my baby, i haven't had a proper meal in about a week, constantly crying and my partner is tbh a waste of space & isn't helping me even though he knows i need it! My health visitor is coming to see me tomorrow, what help can she offer me and how long do you ladies think it'll take until I get back to myself?

thank u x

 

[MiissMuffet]

Lizzipop and gemini- Please don't feel bad about these feelings. i did, and i seeked help- and it was hard openeing up and telling someone these feelings but honestly I feel so muchh better knowing i have done that. I was ashamed and guilty- i still am- people have some real deep problems out there and i have a perfect wee family but i still feel so low and num and get to breaking point where i am just uncontrollable so i feel selfish that i don't have anything in particular to grizzle about- apart from the birth but we are both safe and healthy now so i feel like I shouldn't complain. But I do! And i feel like crap and rely on anti-depressants which have been increased, and anti-sychotics which have also been increased to keep me going. I have come to terms with it and just live each day one at a time. If you ever need to talk feel fee to message me, and please don't feel bad and ashamed- there is help out there and I know it is really hard to find good sources of help- believe me I had a doctor which prohibited me from seeking help, and if it wasn't for my amazing midwife shopping around for me finding me great caring health proffesionals to help me i wouldn't be in the place where i am at now. i'm still not feeling much better at all, in fact sometimes i think i have gotten worse but i have gotten help so that is the 1st step. I hate having sych teams come for their visits and monitoring my meds, but at the end of the day they are really relaxed and nice, they arnt going to lock me up and take ella from me (they only do that if they think baby safety is at risk), but they really do help. It is nice knowing i have professional support there. We may be in a hole right now but there IS a light at the end- I havn't seen it yet, but apparently there is and i just gotta believe there is, so I'm sure with all this digging i will soon dig my way out of this hole and back to the happy life I always thought i would have.


xoxo

 

[mrskx0x0]

Do any of you guys go to mother and baby groups etc? My HV suggested I go to some to give me something to do and for support etc but it kind of backfired. Half way through I just wanted to cry- I have nothing in common with these ladies. Scarlett enjoyed wiggling around on the mat and staring at the other babies but I just felt jealous and out of place. All we did was sit around and compare our babies, exactly how people say you shouldn't do but what else do you talk about? Scarlett was the second oldest baby there and was the third smallest, the 9 week old on the next mat weighed as much as she does! One lady with a baby a week younger than Scarlett but 2 lbs heavier was moaning about how much her baby eats and how quickly she takes it while I was unable to get more than 3 oz into my baby. 3 mums were sat breastfeeding and I was just thinking FAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILURE. Why does everyone else get to enjoy their babies and not me?

Maybe I shouldn't go back anymore, what do you think?

 

[tinkerbellita]

Lizzipop and gemini- Please don't feel bad about these feelings. i did, and i seeked help- and it was hard openeing up and telling someone these feelings but honestly I feel so muchh better knowing i have done that. I was ashamed and guilty- i still am- people have some real deep problems out there and i have a perfect wee family but i still feel so low and num and get to breaking point where i am just uncontrollable so i feel selfish that i don't have anything in particular to grizzle about- apart from the birth but we are both safe and healthy now so i feel like I shouldn't complain. But I do! And i feel like crap and rely on anti-depressants which have been increased, and anti-sychotics which have also been increased to keep me going. I have come to terms with it and just live each day one at a time. If you ever need to talk feel fee to message me, and please don't feel bad and ashamed- there is help out there and I know it is really hard to find good sources of help- believe me I had a doctor which prohibited me from seeking help, and if it wasn't for my amazing midwife shopping around for me finding me great caring health proffesionals to help me i wouldn't be in the place where i am at now. i'm still not feeling much better at all, in fact sometimes i think i have gotten worse but i have gotten help so that is the 1st step. I hate having sych teams come for their visits and monitoring my meds, but at the end of the day they are really relaxed and nice, they arnt going to lock me up and take ella from me (they only do that if they think baby safety is at risk), but they really do help. It is nice knowing i have professional support there. We may be in a hole right now but there IS a light at the end- I havn't seen it yet, but apparently there is and i just gotta believe there is, so I'm sure with all this digging i will soon dig my way out of this hole and back to the happy life I always thought i would have.


xoxo

I agree; please, please get some help. I denied I needed any throughout my whole pregnancy and had such a horrible pregnancy to the point were I had my baby down for adoption until the day after he was born. I kept him in the end. I do feel tho if I had been more open earlier things could have worked out so much better. I now have a massive professional support system in place and am feeling a LOT better, not perfect but better. Don't feel guilty about it. Take the 1st step, speak out and feel PROUD of it.

 

[xerinx]

I can honestly say that with the right help these feelings can go away and get better.

I got help very early on with logan as i left it with my 1st which was awful. Im now off my pills and feel myself again. Things do take time but you really do need to get the help for there to be any improvement

 

[MiissMuffet]

That's wonderful news xerinx! well done you! so glad u r feeling better!

I have had a pretty good week last week, still had some pretty dark moments maybe 1 or 2 a day most days but its better than feeling like that all day everyday!! I was told the citalopram can take 4-6 weeks to kick in so its been about that now if i think about it!

 

[MiissMuffet]

Lizzipop and gemini- Please don't feel bad about these feelings. i did, and i seeked help- and it was hard openeing up and telling someone these feelings but honestly I feel so muchh better knowing i have done that. I was ashamed and guilty- i still am- people have some real deep problems out there and i have a perfect wee family but i still feel so low and num and get to breaking point where i am just uncontrollable so i feel selfish that i don't have anything in particular to grizzle about- apart from the birth but we are both safe and healthy now so i feel like I shouldn't complain. But I do! And i feel like crap and rely on anti-depressants which have been increased, and anti-sychotics which have also been increased to keep me going. I have come to terms with it and just live each day one at a time. If you ever need to talk feel fee to message me, and please don't feel bad and ashamed- there is help out there and I know it is really hard to find good sources of help- believe me I had a doctor which prohibited me from seeking help, and if it wasn't for my amazing midwife shopping around for me finding me great caring health proffesionals to help me i wouldn't be in the place where i am at now. i'm still not feeling much better at all, in fact sometimes i think i have gotten worse but i have gotten help so that is the 1st step. I hate having sych teams come for their visits and monitoring my meds, but at the end of the day they are really relaxed and nice, they arnt going to lock me up and take ella from me (they only do that if they think baby safety is at risk), but they really do help. It is nice knowing i have professional support there. We may be in a hole right now but there IS a light at the end- I havn't seen it yet, but apparently there is and i just gotta believe there is, so I'm sure with all this digging i will soon dig my way out of this hole and back to the happy life I always thought i would have.


xoxo

I agree; please, please get some help. I denied I needed any throughout my whole pregnancy and had such a horrible pregnancy to the point were I had my baby down for adoption until the day after he was born. I kept him in the end. I do feel tho if I had been more open earlier things could have worked out so much better. I now have a massive professional support system in place and am feeling a LOT better, not perfect but better. Don't feel guilty about it. Take the 1st step, speak out and feel PROUD of it.

I am glad you got help quickly this time huni. It is a hard step to make but the consequences of not seeking it just arn't worth it.
xx

 

[MiissMuffet]

Do any of you guys go to mother and baby groups etc? My HV suggested I go to some to give me something to do and for support etc but it kind of backfired. Half way through I just wanted to cry- I have nothing in common with these ladies. Scarlett enjoyed wiggling around on the mat and staring at the other babies but I just felt jealous and out of place. All we did was sit around and compare our babies, exactly how people say you shouldn't do but what else do you talk about? Scarlett was the second oldest baby there and was the third smallest, the 9 week old on the next mat weighed as much as she does! One lady with a baby a week younger than Scarlett but 2 lbs heavier was moaning about how much her baby eats and how quickly she takes it while I was unable to get more than 3 oz into my baby. 3 mums were sat breastfeeding and I was just thinking FAILUREFAILUREFAILUREFAILURE. Why does everyone else get to enjoy their babies and not me?

Maybe I shouldn't go back anymore, what do you think?

Don't worry about those other mums and babies hun. yea they will compare babies as u said what else do u talk about, but do try not take any of it as critism. you are doing a fab job lovely I bet Scarlett is just thriving! She will take more food at her own pace, obviously what she is taking is all she needs for now.
I don't go to mother and baby groups for partly the reason of that, and also i'm not confident enough. The thought of group things scares the heebies out of me (i've always been like that tho- too scared to even go to classes hense y i failed my nursing degree!) One of the sych ladies that visits me talked about group councilling sessions- sent me into a panic! she said no we won't go there i'm not ready.
Don't force yourself to go until you are feeling better hun, otherwise it is just going to form bad experiences and you won't want to do anything like it again. Maybe if you wait abit and go on a "good" day you might find you enjoy it more xxx

 

[honeyhoneypie]

I have been suffering From PND and Anxiety / Panic Attacks For Years Now
Am 28 and i feel the main thing is my panic attacks are taking over my life but its all down to PND but most of the time i don't feel depressed but my doctor said i am as i fear more about my panic anxiety but as its from PND i guess i may just have that my symptons are - Light Headed
Pounding Heart
Feeling I Have No Way Out
Don't Wanna Really Do Anything Anymore
Don't Smile Much
Worrying Thoughts 24/7
Nervousness

But even though i have all these i still think they are mainly from my anxiety but i am so sick of these now i want a way out a way to get rid of them feel better in myself get my life back to normal and i cant seem to find that right path right now i am now looking online for a Hypnotherapist and i no these can cost a fortune but i don't care anymore i just want to get better have my life back on track and take my children out do these like normal mums do i just CANT !

 

[MiissMuffet]

I have been suffering From PND and Anxiety / Panic Attacks For Years Now
Am 28 and i feel the main thing is my panic attacks are taking over my life but its all down to PND but most of the time i don't feel depressed but my doctor said i am as i fear more about my panic anxiety but as its from PND i guess i may just have that my symptons are - Light Headed
Pounding Heart
Feeling I Have No Way Out
Don't Wanna Really Do Anything Anymore
Don't Smile Much
Worrying Thoughts 24/7
Nervousness

But even though i have all these i still think they are mainly from my anxiety but i am so sick of these now i want a way out a way to get rid of them feel better in myself get my life back to normal and i cant seem to find that right path right now i am now looking online for a Hypnotherapist and i no these can cost a fortune but i don't care anymore i just want to get better have my life back on track and take my children out do these like normal mums do i just CANT !

Hey hun i just wanted to say i think i get what u mean about the anxiousness but getting diagnosed with pnd. Since i was 18 I was diagnosed with depression- but what i was feeling wasn't so much depressed, it was more of an anxious nervous feeling that would never go away and i would get so worked up over the smallest things and sometimes would fly off the rails and get so extreme i would have panic attacks and would struggle to breathe. I also felt depressed at times, but i have since changed doctors to one that would actually listen and it turns out i have an anxiety disorder not so much depression. now i have had bubz I developed pnd and the depression is so bad- no way did i have this type of depression before. the anxiety and panicy feelings i have too but it's almost as if they are seperate from the anxiety. sometimes i feel so low that I wouldn't have panic attacks becasue the panicy feeling was more of a higher strung feeling and the depression is more of a way lower feeling iykwim. I go through different feelings and moods throughout the days.
Are you on any medication hun? Are you talking to somebody regularly?
I'm on cytalopram (an anti-depressant) and quetiapine (an anti-psychotic- a form of valium), i was initially on lorazopam but thats not breast-feeding friendly. i was seeing the postnatal adjustment team through plunket (a sych service they have here), and the lady visited a few times but now i have been admitted to mothers and babies through one of the hospitals as an outpatient- another sych service, but this one runs through a hospital and has lost of trained staff that work as a team, case workers, sychologists, sychiatrists, doctors etc so I had a sych assessment there on monday and they have taken me into their service which means i no longer see the lady from the postnatal adjustment team. it's so hard changing people all the time! I see my new one tomorrow i really hope she is nice and we click because she will be my case worker for the next year. I have accepted that i need help, and i am feeling a difference. not totally but it is there so i'm just doing it for my daughter. My well-being is her well-being.
I hope everyone is having a good day/night, I notice this thread isn't used much- and it should! As I think we could all benefit from talking to each other, coz some people just don't understand.

x

 

[minnie83]

Hi, hope you don't mind me jumping in I finally plucked up the courage to see my gp yesterday about my depression. I'd been putting it off for ages, making excuses and trying to pretend nothing is wrong. I'm so relieved I'm finally getting help, I feel like there's finally a light at the end of it all and that I will eventually be 'me' again. Long way to go yet, but at least I've made a start.

 

[MiissMuffet]

Hi, hope you don't mind me jumping in I finally plucked up the courage to see my gp yesterday about my depression. I'd been putting it off for ages, making excuses and trying to pretend nothing is wrong. I'm so relieved I'm finally getting help, I feel like there's finally a light at the end of it all and that I will eventually be 'me' again. Long way to go yet, but at least I've made a start.

That's great hun! The 1st step is always the biggest
What type of help are you getting? Are you taking meds or are you doing therapy or something else? Just being nosey
I hope you have had a good day (or have-"ing" depending on where you are )

x

 

[minnie83]

Hi, hope you don't mind me jumping in I finally plucked up the courage to see my gp yesterday about my depression. I'd been putting it off for ages, making excuses and trying to pretend nothing is wrong. I'm so relieved I'm finally getting help, I feel like there's finally a light at the end of it all and that I will eventually be 'me' again. Long way to go yet, but at least I've made a start.

That's great hun! The 1st step is always the biggest
What type of help are you getting? Are you taking meds or are you doing therapy or something else? Just being nosey
I hope you have had a good day (or have-"ing" depending on where you are )

x

Thank you I'm on citalopram, which is supposed to be very mild I think, but I have to go back in 2 weeks and as long as it's not had any negative effects she's putting me on something stronger (not sure what though ) hopefully will work, fingers crossed. I'm having a good day so far, the sun is shining and I'm feeling quite optimistic since my appointment yesterday. Hope you're having a good day too.

 

[MiissMuffet]

Hi, hope you don't mind me jumping in I finally plucked up the courage to see my gp yesterday about my depression. I'd been putting it off for ages, making excuses and trying to pretend nothing is wrong. I'm so relieved I'm finally getting help, I feel like there's finally a light at the end of it all and that I will eventually be 'me' again. Long way to go yet, but at least I've made a start.

That's great hun! The 1st step is always the biggest
What type of help are you getting? Are you taking meds or are you doing therapy or something else? Just being nosey
I hope you have had a good day (or have-"ing" depending on where you are )

x

Thank you I'm on citalopram, which is supposed to be very mild I think, but I have to go back in 2 weeks and as long as it's not had any negative effects she's putting me on something stronger (not sure what though ) hopefully will work, fingers crossed. I'm having a good day so far, the sun is shining and I'm feeling quite optimistic since my appointment yesterday. Hope you're having a good day too.

Fluoxitine is very mild that's what i used to be on, so they put me on citalopram because it is a stronger antidepressant so I don't think it's that mild. although in saying that i'm on citalopram 2 and it hasn't knocked it on the head like i thought it would! i'm in the process of increasing them, started at 1/2, then at 1 now at 1 and a 1/2, next week it will be 2, coz yea it can cause side effects or something! Also it is breastfeeding friendly I was limited to what i could go on because of breastfeeding.
On a higher note- yay for sun!it's autumn here so it was grey and rainy today. Although i do like rain! It can be abit of a pain when i need to go out with Ella. I don't if i can avoid it anyway even on my good days
xoxo