PND Support Thread

[Raggydoll]

I thought I'd share a poem called the Climb. I try and think about the words when I'm struggling.

Climbing up a mountain,
Pulling yourself higher and
higher.
Out of the pit of misery.
Things seem to look brighter.
Grass is growing, Birds are
singing,
And the sun emerges from the
clouds.
Then you start to slip,
To lose your grasp,
And down you fall.
Not quite to the bottom,
Just teetering on a ledge,
Could you go over at any moment
Have you the strength to climb
again?
The pain of your cut soul
Burns like a fire,
The anger, hurt and frustration
Come flooding back into your
mind.
The fight for survival starts
again.
Overcome the fear,
Search for the holds,
Rely on the support from before.
I know it's going to be difficult,
But you did it once,
You can do it again.
Remember, you're not the only
one -
Out there are other climbers
Fighting their own battles,
Searching their own soul
And conquering their own
mountains.

 

[jenny_wren]

just the medication

i find talking face to face about personal
things really hard, im not comfortable with
therapy or anything thats similar, i always see
the same doctor because i hate having to talk
about it all over again i actually find it makes
me worse because i bring up things i'd forgotten
about!

my oh's got the next few days off so we're hoping
to go out for a family day which'll be nice and ill
have a long chat with the doctor in the morning

i feel better for the rant thankyou ladies

and thankyou raggy

xxx​

 

[maybethistime]

Hugs to everyone


Steffi asked to be referred to a CPN i had 4 sessions with one and it was brilliant really helped me a great deal xx

I asked said there was a waiting list of around 6months and that buy the time im seen id be feeling better Im just gonna play it by here, gonna talk 2 me dad and see if he can arrange something for me.

my meds have been changed as well seems more possitive today.

Jen big hugs hun hope ur family day 2gether helps we just had that and he bucked off work on tuesday and it seemed to help me alot hope it does the same with u.

 

[xpinkness87x]

aww Jenny

I have been getting a bit better... but i cut olivers thumb while i was clipping his nails today and i was nearly in tears but he is fine his chatting away still!! Just adds to me thinking im a rubbish mummy

 

[jenny_wren]

doctors kept me on 75mg

and he's arranging for a cpn or someone
similar to ring me next week he's also getting
my HV to actually come see me after not
seeing her in like 6/7 months

he doesn't want to up my dosage as he
can see that meds really aren't helping
and i HATE therapy type things but i suppose
i best give it a shot ....

i did tell him im not comfortable with it but
after 10 months of trying with pills i guess
he's going for the next best thing, think he
was a little upset they're not working aswell
bless him probs sick of me by now lol

some people find them really helpful so you
never know anythings worth a try at the moment
im just so fed up of not being able to enjoy my
daughter she's not going to be small forever so
fingers crossed it helps!

xxx​

 

[maybethistime]

fingers crossed hun, you never no u might suprise your self hope it works

 

[MiissMuffet]

Sorry guys I havn't been on much this last week. Been feeling really tired on these new pills and the computer just makes me more sleep How is everyone going? What is a CPN?

xx

 

[ALY]

hello everyone sorry i ant been on for a long time

just wanted to o how everyone is doing

im nearly back to square one iv started having panic attacks again couldnt even go out tonight as i was in a right panic even tho iv been hundreds of times before plus i dont wana get up in the morning as i hate feeling the way i do
i go back to drs on fri i have to go every month so he can check up on me

il read the thread later but just wanted to give u ALL

 

[MiissMuffet]

hello everyone sorry i ant been on for a long time

just wanted to o how everyone is doing

im nearly back to square one iv started having panic attacks again couldnt even go out tonight as i was in a right panic even tho iv been hundreds of times before plus i dont wana get up in the morning as i hate feeling the way i do
i go back to drs on fri i have to go every month so he can check up on me

il read the thread later but just wanted to give u ALL

Sorry u r feeling bad again hun. xx

 

[xpinkness87x]

I went to the doctors for a check up today and she said she is really happy with my progress and said she doesnt need to see me again untill i need more tablets.

and hugs to everyone

 

[Raggydoll]

aww Jenny

I have been getting a bit better... but i cut olivers thumb while i was clipping his nails today and i was nearly in tears but he is fine his chatting away still!! Just adds to me thinking im a rubbish mummy

Oh hun, I did this to Kate when she was tiny, I cried for longer than she did. If you look at the bad mothers confessional you'll see it's really common. You're a good mummy.

 

[Raggydoll]

doctors kept me on 75mg

and he's arranging for a cpn or someone
similar to ring me next week he's also getting
my HV to actually come see me after not
seeing her in like 6/7 months

he doesn't want to up my dosage as he
can see that meds really aren't helping
and i HATE therapy type things but i suppose
i best give it a shot ....

i did tell him im not comfortable with it but
after 10 months of trying with pills i guess
he's going for the next best thing, think he
was a little upset they're not working aswell
bless him probs sick of me by now lol

some people find them really helpful so you
never know anythings worth a try at the moment
im just so fed up of not being able to enjoy my
daughter she's not going to be small forever so
fingers crossed it helps!

xxx​

Good luck with the CPN, I know it's hard to open up but they can really help with coping stratigies(sp?)

Has your doctor considered changing your meds seen as he thinks they are not working?

Hope you're ok.

 

[Raggydoll]

Sorry guys I havn't been on much this last week. Been feeling really tired on these new pills and the computer just makes me more sleep How is everyone going? What is a CPN?

xx

Hi Miss Muffet, hope you're ok and the new meds are working. I've recently changed and they've made so much difference.

A CPN is a Community Psychiatric Nurse.

 

[Raggydoll]

hello everyone sorry i ant been on for a long time

just wanted to o how everyone is doing

im nearly back to square one iv started having panic attacks again couldnt even go out tonight as i was in a right panic even tho iv been hundreds of times before plus i dont wana get up in the morning as i hate feeling the way i do
i go back to drs on fri i have to go every month so he can check up on me

il read the thread later but just wanted to give u ALL

I'm sorry you're feeling bad again. Hope you're doctor can give you some good support.

 

[Raggydoll]

Hey,

Big hugs to everyone. Today is the last day of my weeks leave from the mother and baby unit. I'm hoping to be discharged when I see the consultant tomorrow. It's been 8 weeks starting from the complete bottom to feeling like I can get through the day.

They've done so much for me like finally changing my meds, helping with my anxiety and diagnosing my over active thyroid. I'm a little bit scared about being away from the constant support but will be so glad to be back with my husband. It broke my heart taking Kate from him for so long.

 

[jenny_wren]

i dont want him to change my meds
these are the only ones so far that haven't
given me nasty side affects so id rather
stay on them and give them more chance

someone rang me this morning for a phone chat
which i told her i didn't want because it was 10 in
the morning i'd just woken up and talking makes me
feel shit i told her roughly what was going on
and she's sending me a letter

the last weeks been quite positive but i put that
down to having my oh about and being able to get
out and have nice days at various things so we'll see
how it goes now he's not about as much!

xxx​

 

[Luke's_mummy]

I hope you girls don't mind me posting here as I've not been diagnosed with pnd as yet. I suffered with deppression and self injury throught my teens from age 11 and the last incident of self harm was literaly a week before I found out I was expecting luke. Throughout my pregnancy my mood was for the most part amazing and I really thaught I was 'over' it. However since I had luke it gas again deteriorated rapidly, All the old feelings I struggled with previously have returned and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm letting everyone, but most importantly Luke, down and I feel like he deserves a better mummy than this. All the self harm urges have begun to return aswell, and I don't want to act on them for Luke's sake but it's so incredably difficult not to. I feel like I'm such an awful mummy and Luke deserves so much more. I don't know wether this is pnd or wether pregnancy just did my mental state well so if it is just a continuation of the old issues. I just feel so lost and I don't know what to do. I have a mental health appointment tomorrow and am dreading it! They were on my case throughout my pregnancy and I spent the entire time adamant that I didn't/wouldn't need it and now I have to roll up and say hi yeah i need your help. I feel so imcredably stupid I really do! I'm sorry for all this long rubbish..

 

[MiissMuffet]

I hope you girls don't mind me posting here as I've not been diagnosed with pnd as yet. I suffered with deppression and self injury throught my teens from age 11 and the last incident of self harm was literaly a week before I found out I was expecting luke. Throughout my pregnancy my mood was for the most part amazing and I really thaught I was 'over' it. However since I had luke it gas again deteriorated rapidly, All the old feelings I struggled with previously have returned and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm letting everyone, but most importantly Luke, down and I feel like he deserves a better mummy than this. All the self harm urges have begun to return aswell, and I don't want to act on them for Luke's sake but it's so incredably difficult not to. I feel like I'm such an awful mummy and Luke deserves so much more. I don't know wether this is pnd or wether pregnancy just did my mental state well so if it is just a continuation of the old issues. I just feel so lost and I don't know what to do. I have a mental health appointment tomorrow and am dreading it! They were on my case throughout my pregnancy and I spent the entire time adamant that I didn't/wouldn't need it and now I have to roll up and say hi yeah i need your help. I feel so imcredably stupid I really do! I'm sorry for all this long rubbish..

it's not rubbish hun. I'm so proud of you for seeking help. I'm sure you are a great mummy to Luke! His well-being is your well-being. You can post in here whether u have been diagnosed or not- you don't need a doctor to tell you you have pnd. Sometimes i feel i shouldn't be posting anymore coz i am feeling much better. i've been on meds for 10 weeks now and i am in a better headspace. i stll have my really crap days but i'm enjoying life more and i'm more and more excited every day to watch my baby grow. Before i would cry that she is growing up so fast but now seeing her grow is really cool. I had it bad hun. I would cry all the time, punch myself in the head, break things, wanting to die, have panic attacks over the smallest things - full blown ones where i just couldnt breathe. but i'm still posting in here coz i want you guys to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe not 100% but it DOES get better. You will eventually find yourself in a better headspace. If i never got help i wouldn't be happy like I am now. i see a mothers and babies service 1ce a week which is also helping. i never thought i would see a sychiatrist and a therapist, i just wanted the pills and to go on my merry way- but every bit of support helps. Let us know how you get on hun xxx

 

[jenny_wren]

I hope you girls don't mind me posting here as I've not been diagnosed with pnd as yet. I suffered with deppression and self injury throught my teens from age 11 and the last incident of self harm was literaly a week before I found out I was expecting luke. Throughout my pregnancy my mood was for the most part amazing and I really thaught I was 'over' it. However since I had luke it gas again deteriorated rapidly, All the old feelings I struggled with previously have returned and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm letting everyone, but most importantly Luke, down and I feel like he deserves a better mummy than this. All the self harm urges have begun to return aswell, and I don't want to act on them for Luke's sake but it's so incredably difficult not to. I feel like I'm such an awful mummy and Luke deserves so much more. I don't know wether this is pnd or wether pregnancy just did my mental state well so if it is just a continuation of the old issues. I just feel so lost and I don't know what to do. I have a mental health appointment tomorrow and am dreading it! They were on my case throughout my pregnancy and I spent the entire time adamant that I didn't/wouldn't need it and now I have to roll up and say hi yeah i need your help. I feel so imcredably stupid I really do! I'm sorry for all this long rubbish..

you know where i am hun xxx​

 

[jenny_wren]

i've got an appointment friday morning
at the mental health unit so we'll see
if it's any help

nice and quick though!

xx​