PND Support Thread

[ohmybabybump.]

i've had no help the whole time she's been born. i'm so overwhelmed and lonely. my husband doesn't understand and he's in the military so he's never home. she cries all the time and never really wants to be put down. and i just don't know how long i can go on like this. i'm trying to be strong and just ride the wave so to speak, but the depression still hasn't gone away. i really want help but i'm just so ashamed and i don't want anyone to kno i'm feeling this way.

 

[Hattie80]

i've had no help the whole time she's been born. i'm so overwhelmed and lonely. my husband doesn't understand and he's in the military so he's never home. she cries all the time and never really wants to be put down. and i just don't know how long i can go on like this. i'm trying to be strong and just ride the wave so to speak, but the depression still hasn't gone away. i really want help but i'm just so ashamed and i don't want anyone to kno i'm feeling this way.

I know exactly how u feel. It's been 5 months for me now... and unfortunately i feel no better. I have severe anxiety - to the point i'm getting about 3-4 hrs sleep a nite and spending the rest of the time worrying in bed - my mind won't switch off and it's so debilitating - i'm constantly grumpy and exhausted. My baby is v demanding too and has a lot of energy and wants to b constantly entertained. He's v advanced for 5 months so is running me ragged!! I'm having awful relationship issues too - we have had a month living apart and things r still no better - and i feel so alone. I haven't met any other mums as i'm so low in self-confidence right now. I look and feel like shit. I just wanna all the time.
U never feel it's gonna b like this do u? We have an image of a baby slotting in2 our lives but it just doesn't wrk like that. I'm not sure if this is a help but just thought i'd let u know u r not the only 1. I constantly think other new mums r having a fantastic time, with love and support but it's gd to know that is not always the case.
Huge

 

[kitty76]

Thank you for doing this thread. I am new on here and am at the beginning of my jurney dealing with PND. I will be making an appointment to see the doctor on monday morning. I have been quite scared and confused until now. Reading all of your threads has been a great help for me. I don't feel like I am on my own anymore. Thank you all.

 

[mrskx0x0]

*Probably gonna be a rant- best not to read*

I'm SICK of having my nose rubbed in it ALL THE TIME. Seven months PP I have decided to do something about the state of my stomach because it's truly shocking and I know of DH saw it on anyone else he would think it was the most disgusting thing ever. Anyway, I found an old thread posted on here by someone I was in TTC with about exercise (months ago). Long story short, she was thinking exercise before her 6 week check while I was thinking 'hmm, I wonder if you really can drown yourself in your own bath water' and now she's TTC again!!! I can't fathom it, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would want more (sorry, no offense anyone ) because I never want to go through the past few months again. Ever. She's so lucky to even be considering anymore Why does everyone else get their happily ever after and not us?

It's like everyone who has a baby, every pregnant woman, everyone who tells me so and so has had their baby is rubbing my nose in it 'Haha everyone can cope apart from you because you're shit'. Every time somebody asks if I'm 'enjoying motherhood' I have to change the subject because I can't exactly turn round and tell them that I used to be happy and now my life in pointless.

Sorry

 

[annawrigley]

*Probably gonna be a rant- best not to read*

I'm SICK of having my nose rubbed in it ALL THE TIME. Seven months PP I have decided to do something about the state of my stomach because it's truly shocking and I know of DH saw it on anyone else he would think it was the most disgusting thing ever. Anyway, I found an old thread posted on here by someone I was in TTC with about exercise (months ago). Long story short, she was thinking exercise before her 6 week check while I was thinking 'hmm, I wonder if you really can drown yourself in your own bath water' and now she's TTC again!!! I can't fathom it, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would want more (sorry, no offense anyone ) because I never want to go through the past few months again. Ever. She's so lucky to even be considering anymore Why does everyone else get their happily ever after and not us?

It's like everyone who has a baby, every pregnant woman, everyone who tells me so and so has had their baby is rubbing my nose in it 'Haha everyone can cope apart from you because you're shit'. Every time somebody asks if I'm 'enjoying motherhood' I have to change the subject because I can't exactly turn round and tell them that I used to be happy and now my life in pointless.

Sorry

I think alot of people can be insensitive and dont realise that PND is as widely spread as it is. I remember when i had just had LO, i'm talking like the day after in the hospital lol, and people who visited me would say "oh you must be soo happy, you must love him so much, arent you just loving being a mum??" and i just wanted to scream at them NO! but smiled and nodded because what else can you say really?! But it is annoying when people TELL you what you're supposed to be feeling!
And i can relate to you on the more kids thing as well, i have always from a young age wanted a big family, and i still do, and i get all mushy when i see tiny babies, but pregnancy & motherhood is soo hard i cant imagine ever being able to cope with being pregnant and having LO to look after as well. And then having a new baby and LO to look after. I just cant understand how people cope at all!!
I really hope things start to look up for you! xx

 

[ohmybabybump.]

*Probably gonna be a rant- best not to read*

I'm SICK of having my nose rubbed in it ALL THE TIME. Seven months PP I have decided to do something about the state of my stomach because it's truly shocking and I know of DH saw it on anyone else he would think it was the most disgusting thing ever. Anyway, I found an old thread posted on here by someone I was in TTC with about exercise (months ago). Long story short, she was thinking exercise before her 6 week check while I was thinking 'hmm, I wonder if you really can drown yourself in your own bath water' and now she's TTC again!!! I can't fathom it, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would want more (sorry, no offense anyone ) because I never want to go through the past few months again. Ever. She's so lucky to even be considering anymore Why does everyone else get their happily ever after and not us?

It's like everyone who has a baby, every pregnant woman, everyone who tells me so and so has had their baby is rubbing my nose in it 'Haha everyone can cope apart from you because you're shit'. Every time somebody asks if I'm 'enjoying motherhood' I have to change the subject because I can't exactly turn round and tell them that I used to be happy and now my life in pointless.

Sorry

i definately know how you feel. i feel the same way! you worded it perfectly.

 

[mrskx0x0]

Thanks guys. Glad it's not just me Urgh, I can't stand to be around tiny babies anymore. I used to want to hold them and fuss over them but now I just want to get as far away from them as possible until they can sit and smile, then I can just about tolerate them.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

I'm so depressed I just cba typing it all out. I just want to be happy. I just want somebody, anybody, to know that I'm not okay.

 

[Hattie80]

I'm so depressed I just cba typing it all out. I just want to be happy. I just want somebody, anybody, to know that I'm not okay.

Ditto. My partner said yesterday 'For god's sake wot wld make u happy?' and i didn't hesitate b4 saying 'To FEEL happy'.... that's all i want at mo. Is it really THAT much 2 asK???!!!

 

[Hattie80]

Does any1 know if there are specific groups for pnd mothers? I so need to start meeting people as i'm a total recluse and it would really help if I could share things with other women who've had a tough time. If i just meet perfectly coping, happy mums who r taking it all in their stride it'll prob make me feel worse.

 

[Raggydoll]

*Probably gonna be a rant- best not to read*

I'm SICK of having my nose rubbed in it ALL THE TIME. Seven months PP I have decided to do something about the state of my stomach because it's truly shocking and I know of DH saw it on anyone else he would think it was the most disgusting thing ever. Anyway, I found an old thread posted on here by someone I was in TTC with about exercise (months ago). Long story short, she was thinking exercise before her 6 week check while I was thinking 'hmm, I wonder if you really can drown yourself in your own bath water' and now she's TTC again!!! I can't fathom it, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would want more (sorry, no offense anyone ) because I never want to go through the past few months again. Ever. She's so lucky to even be considering anymore Why does everyone else get their happily ever after and not us?

It's like everyone who has a baby, every pregnant woman, everyone who tells me so and so has had their baby is rubbing my nose in it 'Haha everyone can cope apart from you because you're shit'. Every time somebody asks if I'm 'enjoying motherhood' I have to change the subject because I can't exactly turn round and tell them that I used to be happy and now my life in pointless.

Sorry

That's exactly how I feel. I used to want two children but now I really don't think I could go through it again. I also worry about getting PND again and Kate being old enough to be upset by what's going on. It drives me mad people asking if I'm going to have another, my daughter is only 7 months old she's still a baby.

Sorry if I offend anyone but I find people who are saying motherhood is all perfect and wonderful are a little bit irritating. I can't do that whole stepford thing. Even without PND it's a tough job.

 

[Raggydoll]

Does any1 know if there are specific groups for pnd mothers? I so need to start meeting people as i'm a total recluse and it would really help if I could share things with other women who've had a tough time. If i just meet perfectly coping, happy mums who r taking it all in their stride it'll prob make me feel worse.

I asked my HV about a PND group as my sister had been to one a few years before but they didn't have any. I found some mother and baby groups a bit over whelming as some of the mums can be quite competitive.

You could try netmums, meet a mum, I found a few other mums who had posted they were struggling that way. It's nice to have a bit of empathy.

I also found my baby massage group to be very relaxing even though I was the one giving the massage. It was a really nice relaxed group.

 

[Tudor Rose]

posted this in a thread already

if you seen me from the outside, you,d think i was happy healthy well mummy etc but its all show i feel like im drowning inside. i have 3 children age6,5 and 6 weeks. i suffered with PND with the previous children and i dont wanna admitt to it being back again if that makes sense.
My DH is always working and brings work home so doesnt help me as much as he has things to do so asking him for help is impossible, i work part time (still on mat leave). i honestly dont know how i.l manage when i return work.

i feel like constantly crying, im so tired, i can never get anything done LO is so demanding of my attention compared to the other 2 children. i was stood in the playground after doing the school run and i could smell something turns out it was me! i hadnt showered in 2 days because i hadnt had chance, soon as LO goes sleep at night i do. my housework is mounting up. MIL lives near by but isnt that way inclined to help. my biggest downfall is i cant accept help i feel like i have constantly got to prove myself, God knows why????? im worried these 1st few months will pass in a blur when i should be saviouring every moment with LO. The 1st few months of my previous 2 are a blur because of the PND. and now its happening again, ive already turned to food for comfort. but its either stodge or sweets that i eat, then it gets me down ive scoffed. other days i cant eat.

 

[mightyspu]

tudor rose, I have replied to you.

 

[blaze777]

I think I might have PND. can it happen this late? I thought it happened in the first few weeks after having a baby.

 

[mightyspu]

I don't know, but didn't want to read and run. have you seen your GP?

 

[andik]

Blaze777,

I have been to my docs today and have been diagnosed with PND. My son is 8 months old and was born premature so I feel that all my feelings were building up and have finally reached the surface 8 months down the line. He told me that this is common in my situation but it can also happen later on for many reasons so its definitely not something that you just get at the start.

Hope that helps x

 

[cherryglitter]

I think I might have PND. can it happen this late? I thought it happened in the first few weeks after having a baby.

Depression can happen at any time hun. Go and see your doctor hun xx

 

[Emma91]

I think I have PND but Im to scared to go to the Doctors because I don't want to hear that I have it if you get what I mean? I dont want to be told Im a bad mom
I suffered from depression 4 years ago and had counsiling and have felt fine since, but for the past month and a half I feel like I just cant cope anymore and its getting worse. I just dont know what to do :/

 

[mightyspu]

Oh love, I know precisely how you feel. I had depression 10 years ago and thought that it may reappear. I was terrified when it did and felt awful that I could not cope. Admitting I had pnd was horrible, I felt like people would think I was attention seeking. As it is, very few people know.
You are not a bad mum, you are a normal mum trying to get through some tough times. You beat depression once and you can do it again, because this time, there's 2 of you!

You have admitted here that something is not quite right, and that's the first step. Would it help to talk to someone else about your feelings? If you need to have a chat, PM me anytime.