PND Support Thread

[Luke's_mummy]

Oh, the doc has given me Venlafaxine 75mg, is anyone taking these at the moment, how are you getting on with them and did you get any side affects??

xx

Thats what I'm on. I think they have messed my periods around a bit making them heavier and more painful, but from looking at the leaflet it is one of the rare side effects. I think I've got on pretty well with them though. Although DONT forget to take them, I'm an utter BITCH if i forget one! xxx

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

I give up. I've been bitching and moaning about how my mom keeps taking my daughter from me, but now I just give up. She wins.
I need therapy so badly but she refuses to make my an appt. No excuse given. I can't make the appt because when I tried they said I needed my parent to call in because I'm under 18.

My mom keeps telling me it's not PND and that it's just my Borderline acting up. But that's not it. I haven't had a Borderline episode in almost 3 years. It's just my baby making me depressed.
Then when we were arguing about it this morning I told her that I was perfectly fine for the first 3 weeks, but then she had to go and drop a bombshell on me like this (my great-grandparents moving in) and it just threw me over the edge. Then she went on to tell me "Well this is what family does, deal with it"
Except I'm fucking afraid of them! I'm so terribly afraid of dementia patients that I can't talk to my own great-grandmother for more than 10 minutes at a time because I start freaking out!

And it's not like I have my license or anything because my mom won't let me go down there and get it. So I can't go for a drive or anything when I feel overwhelmed.

When we were arguing this morning I told her that I need therapy because I don't even want to take care of my own baby! And that I don't ever want to get out of bed because I'm so depressed and sometimes I just feel like dying. Not like killing myself, just dropping dead, kwim? And do you know what she told me? "No you don't. You're just being over dramatic."

I just fucking hate life right now.

 

[mightyspu]

Taylorsmummy - can you see your gp and talk through other options? Sounds like they should've done something by now.

Croc, that's awful! Pnd or borderline, you still deserve help, not to be told you are being over dramatic. Could you pretend that you want to see a therapist about the borderline stuff? It could be that the therapist might point out that it's pnd. I don't know what to suggest about the great grandparent thing, but maybe a therapist could help with your anxiety towards them?

 

[Raggydoll]

Helen - I'm glad your doctor was supportive, good luck with the bloods. I'm on 150mg Venlafaxine. I've had the best improvement since I started to take these (I've been on them for 4 months after 4 months on Citalopram)

Taylorsmummy it can take a couple of weeks to see improvement. I would see your GP if you've not seen any improvment in a couple of days. If you are really struggling go and see them sooner. Hope you see an improvment soon.

Croc - o Dile. I'm really sorry your mum is being like this. You deserve to get proper support. I think Mightyspu's idea is a good one. Are you still connected to your school/college? Is there anyone there who could help.
You're not being over dramatic, PND can make you feel the way you are describing.

 

[Luke's_mummy]

Ally, I agree with the others. Who the fuck cares wether it is your borderline or if it is PND if it would make your mum more willing to let you see a therapist you should definately say that you need it for your borderline. Hunny, wether it is your borderline acting up or PND doesn't matter, the fact is you're unhappy and you deserve the support you need.


Hey Girlys. Me and Luke are both better now, but I still feel awful. I don't think that it's even directed towards him, it's well known that I am an ex-selfharmer, and the past few weeks I'm struggling with the urges to hurt myself. I'm a smoker and the effort it takes not to stub out my fags on my skin is crazy. I usualy have a razor (for shaving my legs) that I can't cut myself with, but as we forgot these razors when we went on holiday we had to buy some cheep disposables and they are sitting there, and I just want to take one and cut with it so bad. I've been having some really vivid dreams about self harming aswell and I'm really struggling with it. The only reason Im not doing it is just because I know my OH would never forgive me if I did. Its so hard :'(

 

[Hattie80]

Does anyone have any experience of the ad mirtazapine? I'm on 15mg and want to know if anyone found them useful??

 

[helen0381]

everyone,


Helen, hope your doctors appointment went ok, have you had your thyroid tested as some of your symptoms sound like an under active thyroid. I've got an over active thyroid and have been told this could be linked to my depression.

.

Raggydoll, I got my blood results back and been to the docs today and it turns out I do have an under active thyroid! Going back next week for more bloods but Doc said I will prob end up on thyroid tablets. Feel such a relief now that there is a reason why I have zero energy all the time. Im still taking my anti d's and I have noticed a difference in just a few days. Thanks very much for your support! Hope you are feeling ok. xxx

 

[Raggydoll]

everyone,


Helen, hope your doctors appointment went ok, have you had your thyroid tested as some of your symptoms sound like an under active thyroid. I've got an over active thyroid and have been told this could be linked to my depression.

.

Raggydoll, I got my blood results back and been to the docs today and it turns out I do have an under active thyroid! Going back next week for more bloods but Doc said I will prob end up on thyroid tablets. Feel such a relief now that there is a reason why I have zero energy all the time. Im still taking my anti d's and I have noticed a difference in just a few days. Thanks very much for your support! Hope you are feeling ok. xxx

I'm glad you've got some answers. Hopefully once they have your thyroid under control you will start to feel better.

The Venlafaxine is good. Within a few days I went from my consultant considering ECT therapy to feeling like I could cope with normal day to day. xx

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

So I got a call today from the lady who's been trying to get me sorted out with this grant my state does for 12 free therapy sessions since my insurance doesn't cover any mental health services. She ended up cutting a deal with them where they'll cover me, but only if I use Atlantic Care's services. This seems like a great thing, right? Except that I used Atlantic Care in the past when I was dealing with the repercussions of sexual abuse and they're horrible. They're rude, money hungry, judgmental twats. And to top it all off I have to see their child & adolescent therapist because I'm underage! If I was using their adult services I wouldn't feel as bad about it because I don't know any of them, so I'd have to assume that they're different. But I'm very familiar with their C&A therapists and I have nothing nice to say about any of them.

Beggars can't be choosers, so I'm taking it and trying to go at it with a PMA because I do need the help. I'm just worried because I already have a not so great history with them and I know that the therapist is going to have a history on me already. And like I said, they're very judgmental.
And I can't vent about this anywhere else because I don't want my family to think I'm ungrateful or anything. I just really hate this place.

I just have mixed emotions right now. I'm sooo happy that I'm finally getting help, but I'm really upset that I have to put my recovery in their hands. When I last used them I had a counselor ask me if I had really been abused or if I just misjudged the situation! YOU CAN'T MISJUDGE THAT!
This is what has me so worried. I don't want one of them saying something like, "Are you sure you're really depressed and not just a bad mother?"

 

[Raggydoll]

So I got a call today from the lady who's been trying to get me sorted out with this grant my state does for 12 free therapy sessions since my insurance doesn't cover any mental health services. She ended up cutting a deal with them where they'll cover me, but only if I use Atlantic Care's services. This seems like a great thing, right? Except that I used Atlantic Care in the past when I was dealing with the repercussions of sexual abuse and they're horrible. They're rude, money hungry, judgmental twats. And to top it all off I have to see their child & adolescent therapist because I'm underage! If I was using their adult services I wouldn't feel as bad about it because I don't know any of them, so I'd have to assume that they're different. But I'm very familiar with their C&A therapists and I have nothing nice to say about any of them.

Beggars can't be choosers, so I'm taking it and trying to go at it with a PMA because I do need the help. I'm just worried because I already have a not so great history with them and I know that the therapist is going to have a history on me already. And like I said, they're very judgmental.
And I can't vent about this anywhere else because I don't want my family to think I'm ungrateful or anything. I just really hate this place.

I just have mixed emotions right now. I'm sooo happy that I'm finally getting help, but I'm really upset that I have to put my recovery in their hands. When I last used them I had a counselor ask me if I had really been abused or if I just misjudged the situation! YOU CAN'T MISJUDGE THAT!
This is what has me so worried. I don't want one of them saying something like, "Are you sure you're really depressed and not just a bad mother?"

hun. The way your last counsellor treated you was disgusting. How can you misjudge that situation. Hopefully this time you will have a more professional counsellor. If someone is asking you these questions they really are in the wrong job. They are there to support you.

You are doing so well going to get support and having a PMA even though your last experience wasn't a good one.

Don't worry about venting here, it's a good place to get things out, I'm just sorry your family are not being more supportive.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

So I got a call today from the lady who's been trying to get me sorted out with this grant my state does for 12 free therapy sessions since my insurance doesn't cover any mental health services. She ended up cutting a deal with them where they'll cover me, but only if I use Atlantic Care's services. This seems like a great thing, right? Except that I used Atlantic Care in the past when I was dealing with the repercussions of sexual abuse and they're horrible. They're rude, money hungry, judgmental twats. And to top it all off I have to see their child & adolescent therapist because I'm underage! If I was using their adult services I wouldn't feel as bad about it because I don't know any of them, so I'd have to assume that they're different. But I'm very familiar with their C&A therapists and I have nothing nice to say about any of them.

Beggars can't be choosers, so I'm taking it and trying to go at it with a PMA because I do need the help. I'm just worried because I already have a not so great history with them and I know that the therapist is going to have a history on me already. And like I said, they're very judgmental.
And I can't vent about this anywhere else because I don't want my family to think I'm ungrateful or anything. I just really hate this place.

I just have mixed emotions right now. I'm sooo happy that I'm finally getting help, but I'm really upset that I have to put my recovery in their hands. When I last used them I had a counselor ask me if I had really been abused or if I just misjudged the situation! YOU CAN'T MISJUDGE THAT!
This is what has me so worried. I don't want one of them saying something like, "Are you sure you're really depressed and not just a bad mother?"

hun. The way your last counsellor treated you was disgusting. How can you misjudge that situation. Hopefully this time you will have a more professional counsellor. If someone is asking you these questions they really are in the wrong job. They are there to support you.

You are doing so well going to get support and having a PMA even though your last experience wasn't a good one.

Don't worry about venting here, it's a good place to get things out, I'm just sorry your family are not being more supportive.

Thanks

I'm really hoping that they've got better people working there now. I'm pretty sure that the therapist who asked me that isn't there anymore because I know she already had one complaint against her and then I went and complained to them after that.
It just seems to me like they collect the therapists that can't get hired anywhere else.

 

[akaash.]

Hi everyone

im really embarrased to be writing this but ...

Ive been diagnosed with pnd and currently taking AD's,

Today ive been feeling really worried and confused about my feelings ...

Like when will i know if im feeling ok .. and one minute feeling fine the next feeling awful again ...

i keep questioning myself about the way i feel and thinking about awful regrets...

does/did anyone feel/felt the same ...

Tarah xx

 

[mightyspu]

Join the club! What you describe is very common, I hope you feel better soon. And no need to be embarrassed, you're with like minded people!

 

[xTaylorsMummy]

right i have stopped my tablets!! Big risk taking i know

But i didnt feel right on them. So been off a week and tbh i feel alot better then i did before i got dignoised! Im enjoying my babies like i should be. I have told myself the min i feel depressed or have the horrid thoughts i wil be back on them.

Only thing iv noticed is i have alot more emotional feelings! i cry over anything lol.
I went on my tablets 3months after my mum died, so it blocked alot of the greif out, But now im off them it seems to be flooding back

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

Hey, i'm not sure if i actually have PND, but i've deffinatly lost the plot..
i forget everything all the time, which is even more fustrating, i leave things every where, everything seems so chaotic and i want to tidy and clean, but it's too overwhelming and i never know where to start, it's never good enough..
i can't ever sleep, i just worry about my baby all the time, i worry that she's gunna love everyone else more than me, i feel like i'm just dreaming, and life doesn't seem real, and i'm kinda in a weirdo bubble and everything seems really dimmed, like when i'm happy things are sunny or nice and candle lit kinda thing, and when i'm low, it's cloudy and rainy and everything's dim and has a grey tinge.. (which sounds completely bonkers, but i can't describe it better)
and i just keep thinking that people live for lke 100 years and that's not very long, and everythings going so quickly..
and i'm petrified of losing people, to the point i'm deffinatly pushing my OH away, and i feel so bad, i know it's my fault, i just start arguements, but i really don't mean to, and i just worry that he's gunna want someone better than me, someone who's loving and kind, and prettier and skinnier, funnier..
i feel so lonely..
and i just hate feeling like this..
also i hate to admit it, and i'm petrified to tell anyone, but the feeling low makes me feel so insecure, and i haven't been eating properly, and i never feel skinny enough or pretty enough..
sorry to go on a bit, i've not told anyone yet, i'm not sure who to tell, i've tried to tell my mum a bit, but she said, it's probably just the weather..
x

 

[mightyspu]

sometimes the weather doesn't help, but it's never made me feel ugly! Have a read of the first post on this thread (it might be the second post) it lists the symptoms of pnd and see if any of them ring true for you. To me, it does sound like you could be a contender!

do you have a sympathetic friend or partner to talk to? or your hv or gp?

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

yeah i know, i've had depression before.. and i read that, and i thought i think i do have it..
i just get scared to tell anyone because i don't want everyone to feel sorry for me or anything. i don't want to talk to my gp or hv, i'm scared they'll put me in hospital or something or even give me tablets.. which i hate taking cause they make me feel like i'm failing to cope and stuff..
i've been trying to talk to my partner, but he doesn't really understand

ah i feel like i sound like i'm feeling sorry for myself, i am trying to just carry on and do things as normal..
xx

 

[mightyspu]

You don't have to tell anyone you don't want to. It's unlikely they'll put you in hospital, but you may be prescribed anti depressants. It's up to you whether you take them, but if you are not failing to cope, you just need a little help to regulate how you feel right now. If youre still against them, your gp might be able to suggest something else.

I felt nervous about asking for help too, I thought people would think I was attention seeking and making a fuss out of nothing. I am sad that I need anti d's to help me, but I try and look at pnd as being part of the parcel. Like mastitis and sleepless nights. sorry your partner doesn't understand, I don't think they ever can fully.

Oh, and you can always talk to us !

 

[08marchbean]

I havnt been on here for a while.i hope everyone is ok
i need to get this out
ive been on citalopram for 4/5 months now and i was feeling ok, but the last few weeks have been a nightmare. i am getting stressed and angry over stupid things like putting the shopping away,seems like am impossible task and just overwhelms me and i get pissed off. or choosing what to have for tea or somthing stupid. ive said i dont want my daughter and i dont know if i mean it or not. i mean i know i love her becasue i would die for her in an instant and maybe that would be the best for her? but i just dont feel like i love her i cant explain it. its horrible i know im sick of needing meds to make me love my dughter and feel vaugley normal. i went back to docs today as i feel like i cant cope im falling appart again. but she just changed my meds (as im getting headaches and insomnisa) and refered me back to councelling. but i dont think she know how bad its got and im too embarassed to tell her. i have gone back to self harming and i just cant help it i feel so down and angry but totaly empty and horrific. but i didnt tell her that, se didnt ask so i didnt know how to say it.
i just dont know what to do im a mess my lifes a mess and i cant cope

 

[Hattie80]

Well... things have gone from bad from worse 4 me. My partner has walked out as he can't cope with my pnd. I've moved in with my parents which is a nightmare and he with his family. We r currently sharing baby but he is not a parcel and when i'm strong enough i have to decide wot to do re access etc etc. I just can't believe he has left me
I'm trying so hard to b strong but the nites and mornings r sooo hard. I suffer terribly with anxiety since getting pnd. Started sertraline a week ago. I think it has made my anxiety worse and i can't sleep but i'm trying to ride thro the side effects as i've heard it's a gd ad.
Has anyone had any success with sertraline??