PND Support Thread

[Emma 21]

Well today we ventured down to my mams and the inlaws, spent less than an hour at each house -they don't live far from us, and i couldn't cope. I sat there (more so at the inlaws) and didn't want to interact or make conversation. Fought back tears when i was there as i really didn't want to go to pieces in front of them.

When we were at my mams, I wasn't emotional, and was talking etc but then got hit with an immense wave of tiredness. I'm just 6 days post section.

I got really frustrated as i had done so well today - made it nearly all day without having an 'episode'.

I just wish that there was some rational reason as to why i feel like this - i keep analysing it all and there is no justifiable reason for me to feel this way. My baby girl is amazing and i'm so in love with her. xxx

can you not go to the gp and get some antidepressants hun, i needed too and feel so much more like my old self and have onnly been on them 1 week. (add me on facebook if you want im Emma Nutting) im a friend of loulou (louisa smikle) x

 

[cyanidepill]

I'll send you a request in a sec hun.

My midwife who came around yesterday said that she's going to speak to gp tomorrow with a view to getting a counselling referral. She's due back here on Wednesday to check my daughter and see how i'm doing, so i'll be speaking to her then. She said that it may be that the gp phones me, as i have such a history of depression.

One things for sure if they offer meds for it, there is no way i'm touching Paroxetine again. It's a very effective drug, don't get me wrong - but to come off it was a nightmare. Couldn't wean off it at all i tried for months, so i had to cold turkey off it, and the effects were awful - fainting, dizziness, sickness, sweating etc.

I've been on Citalopram before, so perhaps they'll give me that instead. xx

 

[cyanidepill]

Just wanted to update - I bit the bullet this morning, rang the doctor and got an appointment within 20 mins (that in itself is amazing!)...anyway, the gp i saw was lovely. My husband when with me and was very supportive.

The gp has given me Citalopram and said she wants to see me weekly to make sure i'm ok. I'm just on 10mg for this week but she will up dose to the standard 20mg next week, and also sort a referral for counselling also. xx

 

[Emma 21]

im glad u sought help

 

[Al Syr]

So glad I am not alone . . . And also so glad we are not alone!

 

[caz_hills]

Hi ladies, just found this thread and would like to join if I can?!

I'm three weeks nearly post the birth of my boy, Ajay, and I know i'm struggling with emotions - not sure if it's PND but something isn't right. I've been tearful since he was born, worried I can't cope, I can't look after him alone as I worry so much that I'll do something wrong, tried all the time, irritable, don't want to see people etc etc.

It gives me hope to hear that people say it does get better as the days/weeks go on. Sometimes I can't imagine it feeling better but I know that it will do.

Thanks for the posts on here, they do reassure me that things will improve. I love my little boy so much, I just want to feel better myself so I can be the best possible Mummy for him x

 

[cyanidepill]

caz - if you feel you're not coping, do talk to your gp. It does help, trust me. I find this section of the forum helpful. It's always reassuring to know we're not alone. xx

 

[caz_hills]

Thanks hun - saw my GP and he referred me to a counsellor so just waiting for that to come through. But I am hoping that given time I will feel better. It's the tiredness more than anything I think but here's hoping we all feel better!

 

[cyanidepill]

I fully understand the tiredness. I'm exhausted most of the time, but when the waves of tiredness hit me - i end up flat out. I was reluctant to rest when my daughter sleeps at first, but my hubby actually ordered me to go to bed and get some sleep a few days ago. I managed about an hour and then i heard her cry a little and i leapt out of bed, even though i knew she was fine with him, i was on mother alert. I don't think after a section i'm meant to move that quick lol.

xx

 

[helen0381]

Hello Ladies,

how are you all doing?

Im Helen, Im 30 years old and have a 2 year old boy. Basically I suffered with PND after the birth of my son. We are currently TTC#2. Im so scared that I end up with PND after having a second child. If you've suffered before what are the chances of getting it again. My doc said it doesn't necessarily mean I will get it again. I know I wont leave it as long next time. (Was in denial for a bit that I even had it) She put me on anti depressants and I came off them a few months ago. I have felt fine ever since.

Anyone has experience of this? Would be very grateful for any feedback!

Cheers, Helen

 

[cyanidepill]

Hi Helen

My midwife put me at a higher risk of getting PND after my 2nd child - partially because i had it after my first and also because i have a long history of depression/anxiety.

I think after you've had it once it's often a good thing in a sense because you know what to look for in yourself as to signs of it returning after another delivery. I found that especially helpful as it meant i managed to catch it early and nip it in the bud and seek help.

xx

 

[stardust599]

...

 

[tanya]

I've spent the last couple of weeks bottling everything up and trying to be the perfect wife and mum, I think the dam broke this morning,
Lo has been up since 3am wouldn't settle at all, nothing working. At 4am dh decided it would be best if he went downstairs to do "paperwork" sleep on the sofa more like, so lo could cosleep on his side as this sometimes settles him, it didn't, by 6:30 I don't know who was crying harder, I rang dh downstairs (shared house so can't shout) he didn't answer, by the time he answered his phone at 7 I was a complete mess, Flynn was crying his eyes out, he's usually really placid, I decided he hates me and will be better off without me. I have really hit rock bottom I think, I googled to find out how to have him adopted coz I adore him and he's my whole life but he deserves the absolute best and I don't think I can be that. Dh has taken him downstairs and left me alone, basically saying get yourself sorted out coz we need to go out this morning, he has to pick up his train tickets to go away on a traIning course tomorrow till friday, that's bad enough but we live with sil's and they help out when I need them but they are going away on Wednesday and I'm terrified of being left alone in this big house with a screaming baby who hates me.
I have had depression in the past and dh didnt understand at all he just thought I could pull myself together and I'd be fine so I don't want to tell him how bad I feel, I might go see the gp while he's away and ask for anti-ds ad hide them, maybe if I get a bit of help I'll be able to start hiding it better again. I used to self harm and don't want to get back to that again so while no one is in the house with me I'm going to try to be out of it as much as possible. (there is no way I'd hurt lo the only person I've ever deliberately hurt was me)
I don't want everyone to find out about it as I'm scared they will take my baby away and he's my only reason for living.

Wow I'm a mess! Gonna have to go get washed and dressed do my hair and paint on a smile, it's gonna be harder to do today but I have to be perfect.

 

[Emma 21]

oh tanya darling the fact ur recognising the signs shows that ur a great mom, you need t go the docs hun, that is exactly how i was and without help you will only continue to get worse. im now on paroxetine have been for a month and feel so muah better as long as i take my tablet, you blame yourself but the do told me u need to remember its not ur fault its hormonal x

 

[Lovingmybaby]

Well I start off with introducing myself..My name is Brittany I am 23 and I have a 18 month old daughter and a son who will be 4 weeks old tomorrow...Well with my daughter I had a very traumatic birth and was diagnosed with PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) AND PPD(Post Partum Depression) after having my daughter...It was terrible for me I started taking Zoloft and seeing a counselor and it helped alot but continued my medicine to prevent relapse till I became pregnant with my son...I however suffered with depression through out my entire pregnancy and just couldnt enjoy it...I didnt want ot take medicine that could harm my child...Well for the first 18 days being home everything was great I had lots of energy was coping great with both the kids and keeping the house spotless and all the laundry done and still managing to pump BM for my son and I felt so proud of myself....Well here 27 days after my sons birth and the past 9 days have been HELL!! I really hoped it would not come back this time but it did...I stopped wanting to play with my daughter or hold my son and couldnt stand my OH to even touch me...along with not eating as much as I should and stopped pumping regularly because I just didnt have the energy to and just couldnt get past it...It doesnt help the situation that my OH is pretty much begging for attention and I just cant give it to him because I just dont have enough of me to go around...So I called my Dr 2 days ago and explained what was going on and they sent in a prescription for Prozac...So I am on day 2 of taking my meds and already notice sleeping better at night but only able to play with my daughter for 15 minutes at a time before I feel the need to go hid in my room again...Its also hard for me because now that i am taking this medicine I am not allowed to pump BM for my son anymore and he has to go on formula completely...Which breaks my heart because I feel like I have let him down...Not to mention he had been excessively gassy and crying all night for the past 3 nights and it was driving me NUTS!! But fortunately yesterday I went to Walmart and got some Mylacon Gas Drops and Gripe Water and it worked wonders last night he was only up for 30 minutes every 3.5 hours to eat,burp,be changed and fall back asleep which was heaven for the both of us!! But my OH just doesnt understand how hard PPD for me and that there is only so much I can do and that it doesnt go away in one day...He knows how hard it was for me the last time and was very understanding but this time he just doesnt get it or doesnt care...I talked to my SIL who had severe PPD and she allowed me to vent and reassured me that it was all gonna be ok and that she would talk to my OH and just try to explain to him how it is and that he should be extra patient with me and try to be as helpful as possible so I can overcome this quicker....Just dont know what to do to make him understand taking care of 2 under 2 is hard but its a completely different level of hard when you are battling with PPD....Any advice or words of encouragement are welcome as this is a very trying time for me and I hate feeling like I am letting my kids down!

 

[confused87com]

I have stopped taking my sertraline, i know this is not good as i am already feeling much worse, dizzy and have a pounding headache. However, i get severre heartburn when i take them, meaning i get no sleep cause they make me drowsy so i takethem at night. My CPN was meant to come Monday but got the time wrong and now cant see me for a week. She phoned, i told her i was feeling better but obv worried about not taking the tablets, she told me to ' just do as i am' until next week.....wtf does that mean? its not that i want to stop the tablets, i really dont, i just cant face the hours of terrible heartburn. by the time it stops my boy has woken for a feed and then the neighbours lil one wakes and i can never sleep thru heartburn or screaming babies....arggghhhh majorly stressed

 

[HungryHippo]

I also feel tearful, upset, guilty (about being a bad mum, bad daughter, bad girlfriend), nervous + worried about leaving the house (feel like people will be watching and laughing at me or my clothes/hair etc.), no appetite, can't sleep - I fall asleep easily but wake constantly and can't get back to sleep after 5am, tired/exhausted all the time, no energy to do anything. I'm losing my friends as I keep cancelling things and even when they are talking to me I can't concentrate as I have all this stuff going on in my head. I get obsessive thoughts too.

This could be me...and I'm six weeks PP. I just got a prescription for Paxil. I hope we both feel better soon.

 

[Skye1]

Well I start off with introducing myself..My name is Brittany I am 23 and I have a 18 month old daughter and a son who will be 4 weeks old tomorrow...Well with my daughter I had a very traumatic birth and was diagnosed with PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) AND PPD(Post Partum Depression) after having my daughter...It was terrible for me I started taking Zoloft and seeing a counselor and it helped alot but continued my medicine to prevent relapse till I became pregnant with my son...I however suffered with depression through out my entire pregnancy and just couldnt enjoy it...I didnt want ot take medicine that could harm my child...Well for the first 18 days being home everything was great I had lots of energy was coping great with both the kids and keeping the house spotless and all the laundry done and still managing to pump BM for my son and I felt so proud of myself....Well here 27 days after my sons birth and the past 9 days have been HELL!! I really hoped it would not come back this time but it did...I stopped wanting to play with my daughter or hold my son and couldnt stand my OH to even touch me...along with not eating as much as I should and stopped pumping regularly because I just didnt have the energy to and just couldnt get past it...It doesnt help the situation that my OH is pretty much begging for attention and I just cant give it to him because I just dont have enough of me to go around...So I called my Dr 2 days ago and explained what was going on and they sent in a prescription for Prozac...So I am on day 2 of taking my meds and already notice sleeping better at night but only able to play with my daughter for 15 minutes at a time before I feel the need to go hid in my room again...Its also hard for me because now that i am taking this medicine I am not allowed to pump BM for my son anymore and he has to go on formula completely...Which breaks my heart because I feel like I have let him down...Not to mention he had been excessively gassy and crying all night for the past 3 nights and it was driving me NUTS!! But fortunately yesterday I went to Walmart and got some Mylacon Gas Drops and Gripe Water and it worked wonders last night he was only up for 30 minutes every 3.5 hours to eat,burp,be changed and fall back asleep which was heaven for the both of us!! But my OH just doesnt understand how hard PPD for me and that there is only so much I can do and that it doesnt go away in one day...He knows how hard it was for me the last time and was very understanding but this time he just doesnt get it or doesnt care...I talked to my SIL who had severe PPD and she allowed me to vent and reassured me that it was all gonna be ok and that she would talk to my OH and just try to explain to him how it is and that he should be extra patient with me and try to be as helpful as possible so I can overcome this quicker....Just dont know what to do to make him understand taking care of 2 under 2 is hard but its a completely different level of hard when you are battling with PPD....Any advice or words of encouragement are welcome as this is a very trying time for me and I hate feeling like I am letting my kids down!

Hiya, my baby is 15 weeks ond now.

I was diagnosed and treated for PTSD a few years ago so my doctors and MW were on their guard ready for me to get PND. I never imagined I would, but two weeks after the birth it hit me like shit.

I've had a hell of alot of pysical symptoms with the deppression, I finally agreed to take meds for the first time, 8 weeks ago. It took about 5 weeks for them to kick in properly, but I am so glad I started the meds. Straight away I started to sleep better on them.

How long have you been on the meds for ?

 

[Lovingmybaby]

I have been on my meds now for 3 weeks and find it easier to fall alseep now but still not much of an appetite I only eat once a day but I make it count with filling and healthy stuff..I'm still finding every day difficult but some not as hard as others...I just wish I knew how to cope with all this better cause when my 18 month old is whiney and cries her lil brother starts crying and then all I wanna do is cry and most of the time I do...

 

[EllaAndLyla]

Today has been a black hole