PND Support Thread

[kmh2009]

im back home. hope everyone is doing as good as they possibly can xx

 

[nessajane]

Bleurrghhhh im having a bad few days, been on meds for about 6/7 months maybe a little longer and i havnt been up the docs to get my repeat prescription for 2 weeks so i havnt been taking them and the last few days i could feel it coming back and this morning i broke down out of no where
Back to the docs to get some more tablets tomoro and hopefully ill be back on track again
youd think id be feeling better now after taking the tablets so long but as soon i stop taking them im back to sqaure 1

 

[asacia]

Kmh, sorry I missed your post, where have you been? How are you feeling?

Nessa, I'm sorry you are having a few hard days. I'm sure you'll be feeling better soon, stopping/decreasing meds suddenly can make you feel very bad. If you are finding it hard to get your prescription regularly, please tell your GP.

Sb22, how are you feeling now? Why do you worry about the Health Visitor coming to see you?

Jenny, how is teething? Hope your appointment goes okay ((hugs))

Carolyn - how are you feeling today? Try hard to keep positive. I learnt once that there is a cycle, lapse - relapse - collapse. The sooner you stop the cycle the better! It is possible to just have a lapse of feeling sad, without it becoming anything more. Does that make sense? Hope things are okay.

Bumpsmum, how is your anxiety?

 

[carolyn_s]

asacia, Feeling better today. I seem to have really long good periods and everytime i convince myself im on the mend and getting better. Ive had my meds increased again. The good spells seem to last longer but the bad times are getting worse. Last time i had a bad day (started off as an argument with OH) I ended up lying in bed crying thinking of ways to end it all. That isnt the first time ive had those sorts of thoughts either which is hard to admit and really scares me. I have supportive people that would listen but i feel like a burdon on everyone around me as it is.
Also since being on the meds ive had heart flutters... cant remember the medical term for it which is worrying me. Hate having to rely on meds to be happy. just wish i could see a way out of it all ...

How are you? sorry i dont know much about your situation but hope you are coping! xxx

 

[asacia]

I often wonder if the lows seem worse when you have good days - once you start to remember what it is like to feel normal, the bad days can seem much worse than before.

I'm sorry you get bad thoughts. Does your GP know about this? Don't be scared to tell them, they won't lock you up or think bad of you! It is important to be honest about how you feel. You aren't alone with having thoughts like that, and it is really horrible and scary. Remember you can always phone the Samaritans if you feel like that, or post on here. Does your area have a Crisis number? It might be worth asking.

Don't feel bad for needing medication. If you had a broken leg, you'd wear a cast, if you had an infection you'd take antibiotics and if you needed medication for a problem like epilepsy or stomach probs etc you'd take them. There is nothing wrong with needing medication sometimes, it is just a tool to help you get better, like a walking stick. They just help a little, so that you can do the things you need to to recover.

 

[jenny_wren]

im very much looking forward to bedtime
ive had a horrible screaming witch all day
so i've left her in the living room to moan

got the docs on friday think im gonna ask
him to up the dose because im really starting to
hit rock bottom again!

it's all getting hard again
might ask for some sleeping tablets as well
i haven't had a good nights sleep since i started
the bloody pills i dont function without sleep

and carolyn i still have horrible thought all the time
i suppose it's normal but if you ever think you could
act on those thoughts make sure you speak to someone yea

xx​

 

[carolyn_s]

I often wonder if the lows seem worse when you have good days - once you start to remember what it is like to feel normal, the bad days can seem much worse than before.

I'm sorry you get bad thoughts. Does your GP know about this? Don't be scared to tell them, they won't lock you up or think bad of you! It is important to be honest about how you feel. You aren't alone with having thoughts like that, and it is really horrible and scary. Remember you can always phone the Samaritans if you feel like that, or post on here. Does your area have a Crisis number? It might be worth asking.

Don't feel bad for needing medication. If you had a broken leg, you'd wear a cast, if you had an infection you'd take antibiotics and if you needed medication for a problem like epilepsy or stomach probs etc you'd take them. There is nothing wrong with needing medication sometimes, it is just a tool to help you get better, like a walking stick. They just help a little, so that you can do the things you need to to recover.

Thanks guys really appreciate that. Yea Ive got the local number but when im really low i wouldnt phone it. Ive told my Dr that ive thought about it but lied about how often i feel like that. Hate people fussing about me, i feel in the way!

Jenny_wren, i know its not easy to talk about but how do you cope with it when you get those sorts of feelings?
I always feel like nobody needs me and im in the way - like i would be doing everyone around me a massive favour by taking myself out of the equation. I guess i need to find a way to cope with it and get past those feelings but its constantly in the back of my mind. Its my daughters first birthday party on sat and im making out to everyone im so excited but im not. Im dreading it, i dont want her to be 1, i dont want to still be feeling like this now that it has been 12 months since the birth, i dont want to be in an enclosed space full of people and most of all i dont want to have to put on my perfect fake smile...

sorry as always for ranting guys.
My health visitor has told me to set small goals.... so this week i am going to go into town on my own for party bags and plan and prepare my meals ahead and make sure i eat them!! I need the energy running around after Abby....

Hope everyone is ok...hugs to those who need it....

maybe 2moro will be better....xxxx

 

[jenny_wren]

most of my bad thoughts come when im in bed
best way ive found is to try and drown them out
in my case i use music ....

or during the day i do housework anything to take
my mind off what im thinking it's harder some days
todays been an awful day usually i can control myself
today i almost lashed out at emily and had to have a cry
in the kitchen just to calm down

sometimes it helps having a little break down
a nice long cry get everything out in the open
even if you do alone in the bath with the door closed
it can sometimes help

but if you do think the thoughts are getting worse
do speak to someone even if its just us or try writing
a diary type of thing might help to get your feeling down
even if no one will ever read it

xx​

 

[AP]

i don't want the health visitor thinking i'm a hopeless case. She's already on my tail because i was crying on the phone to her before alex was born, after what OH done,wondering how i was ever going to cope. This is his fault. I know it.

 

[bumpsmum]

sorry not been around girls, needing a bit of time out tbh whilst the forum is great and I get tons of support I feel sometimes reading and contributing to others posts (not just this thread - sorry if this sounds offensive that is not my intention ) fuels my negativity and gives me new scenarios to overthink if that makes sense.........prob not im really tired. Gonna take a couple of days away and focus on finishing making my xmas cards - my mind goes blank when I work on them and right now thats a good thing.

Hope everyone doing good xx

 

[znwinnie]

Hey ladies,

Sorry for barging in, just wanted to ask a question

Did you wait for your six week check up to talk to someone about the way you are feeling? Or did you go sooner?

My LO was 3 weeks on sunday, and some days I really struggle. But then I'll have a good day and actually get us out the house, and think I'm over reacting, it's just the baby blues and it'll pass.

My OH left just before I had Ellie, so I am obviously getting over this. He has been popping in and seeing we were ok, I told him last week I didn't want him to as I was depressed and when he left to go back to his life (he isn't FOB, But we were together for years albiet with a 4 month break up when I fell pregnant.) it made me worse.

Week 1- my family were down all the time, they really are great but they have their own lives.

Week 2- I didn't even want to get dressed, have eaten 2 meals since she was born, just eating toast to stop myself from fainting.

Week 3- Found out OH or ex I suppose has been seeing someone, even when he's been coming down to see us. He stayed at hers on the thu, then popped in here on the friday and we ordered in food. Now when I think about it I feel sick.

I have felt since E was born that I'm stuck in the house on my own, and I really am. I couldn't make my uncles funeral last week as no one could babysit

This has just turned into such a mixed up ramble, I'm sorry.

I know all the stuff with OH os making me worse, but surely how I feel all the time isn't normal? This feeling of dread I have in my tummy most of the time?

And people say when you look at the baby it'll all be worth it, but I don't get that! Which makes me feel worse

Sorry again, just looking for someone who understands?

 

[carolyn_s]

Jenny - Thanks for that i really appreciate it. how are you feeling now?

znwinnie - I was so nervous to post in here even though nobody knows me so you have done well just by doing that. It took me months to speak up to my dr and i really wish i had done it sooner. I was showing signs of depression a couple of weeks after my LO was born but ignored it untill she was 7months old. That was the worst thing i could have possibly done. When are you next seeing your health visitor? might be worth mentioning it to her! I didnt like my health visitor to start with but she has been brilliant and an invaluable support!
The only advice i have is dont suffer alone in silence. If you do have PND there are so many ways it can be treated and there is nothing to be embarrased about. I know there is stigma attached to having it but the sooner its controlled the better

Im not very good at advice but i hope that helps in some way or another.

If nothing else the girls on here are brilliant...dont feel shy....just rant away (ive done it a few times and felt loads better for it!!)

Hugs xxx

 

[znwinnie]

We have a shortage of HV's here so mine has only been once, she was suposed to come back last friday but couldn't make it and said she would send someone out this week.

I don't know why but I didn't tell the MW I was on my own, and when she asked if dad was at work I just said yes. So they have to see a lot people to see with a lot more needs than me atm.

The HV did mention the PND test but I don't know if they'll come to do it, or if I will just get referred back to my surgery. So i'm not sure whether I should make an app and tell them how I've been feeling or wait till 6 week C/Up.

Thanks for replying

 

[Connah'sMommy]

Hiya girls,i have posted on here a while back but in the end put my feelings down to the 'baby blues'.

However,i have only got worse since.

Ill try my best to explain my feelings and i hope someone can offer advice/help...im at a loss at what t do here
This might sound a little jumbled but ill do my best...

I have constant terrible thoughts about something happening to my LO,me and OH can be driving down the road and ill picture us in an accident or like the other day...i was walking to the clinic and suddenly imagined that someone was following me and tried to take LO from me....the list goes on and its gotten to the point where i cant sleep and i get really upset.

Another thing is i have a problem letting other people look after LO even just for an hour or so,i have to go over what they should do several times before i can leave and hate it when my MIL especially picks him up and i really dont know why...we have no issues or anything,she has been like a mother to me.

I am what i would call anxious,i cant answer the door to anyone by myself,i hate having to take LO up to the doctors with me on my own....
I hate crowded places,faint regularly if im in anywhere like meadowhall(local shopping centre) cant set foot near a lift either( nothing really to do with PND but thought i would mention)

I cry through the day for a few reasons, i feel like im not good enough for OH or LO,i feel fat,i dont have very many clothes as i out my OH and LO first...we are in no way struggling for money either but i feel like i dont give my family enough....so dont really know why i dont like shopping for myself

And the last and worst thing...my temper...i have such a terrible temper with OH,im so nasty to him,call him all sorts of names under the sun,accuse him of cheating even though i know he wouldnt,have sudden feelings of jealousy for no reason at all and 2 days ago i lashed out so much i punched him and started throwing things. Other days i can be nice as pie and i would do anything for him.

I would do anything for the both of them,i love them so much!

To top this all off....i had the coil on the 9th sept...had my first AF on the 24th august,then another AF in the middle of sept but no AF in october So that is making me worry as i really dont want to get pregnant again,not yet.

I know i have rambled on but this has all started since i had my LO! i dont know what to do...im scared to see the doctor but if i do what do i say?


people have said this sounds like PND but also alot of other things...if anyone has any idea what i might me up agains here i would appriciate the advice
thanks
Charlie xxx

 

[Beausmummy]

Hi
I do think it is PND. I suffered just like you with the anxiety and the temper more than anything. It got really bad where I couldn't eat sleep or leave the house. I was on anti-depressents for about 6 months and I am now a lot better but not 100%. I really suggest getting help before it gets really bad. Good Luck x

 

[helen0381]

Hi everyone.

I just wanted to post on here because i ended up at the doctors this morning and she has said it sounds like I have PND. She has put me on anti depressants.
Im pleased i went because I dont want to get any worse than i am now. Some days I feel useless and that I cant cope. I feel like im a failure to Jack. I cant cope with him crying some days and just leave him in his cot for 10 mins screaming.
Im hoping I start feeling better cos I cant go on like this anymore.

xxx

 

[jenny_wren]

hugs to the new girlies
speaking to a doctor or a hv really helps
they can start the ball rolling on feeling better
the longer you leave it the worse it gets



xx​

 

[helen0381]

hugs to the new girlies
speaking to a doctor or a hv really helps
they can start the ball rolling on feeling better
the longer you leave it the worse it gets



xx​

It did help talking to the doctor, even tho I broke down and cried!! It was probably the relief of finally realising what was up! xx

 

[Beausmummy]

Hi
Its a massive step getting help from the doctors and admiting to yourself and every1 else there is a problem. I think every1 who posts here is very brave and should be very proud of therselves that they want to get help and even just posting helps a lot. I am so much better than I was when my son was 2-3 mnths old. He is 1 now and I was wondering if any1 knows when I will feel totally back to normal I think my problem is now I have no confidence at all and worry a lot and still work myself up about going out x

 

[carolyn_s]

Hi all,

znwinnie - how you feeling? be persistant with hv's or dr's. I do think you need to make an appointment with someone - Dr is prob best. Dont be ashamed of how you are feeling...you will be told this a million times but the way you are feeling is not your fault!! feel free to add me as a friend on here or pm me if you want to have a chat. Im more than happy to listen to rants and give advice where i can. I am not as up and down as i was a few months ago - my bad days are down to about once a week and i cope with them much better now. I had my baby last november and left her dad in february....not the best of valentines days lol....being a lone parent is nothing to be ashamed about - you should be so proud that you do it alone!! if you have any family or friends that would help take advantage of it... even if its just doing your washing or something!!
I found keeping a diary helped me, when i look back at it now it doesnt even sound like me that was writing but that makes me realise i must be getting better!!
hope things look up for you soon.... i know ive said it before but the girls on here are brilliant!!

Hi to anyone else who has just joined....hope your ok....

Jenny - how you doing today? I told my HV about the thoughts etc and she has told me its prob best to go back to the dr but she will tell her what i said so that i dont have to explain it again!!

hugs to all that need it ...xxx