PND Support Thread

[Luke's_mummy]

Jenny- thank you hunny I appreciate it hope Friday goes okay xx

Andi- thank you. I just really hate asking for help, even from my OH but I totaly broke down to him yesterday, the thing is, I really feel like an idiot, I can't believe I spent this entire time saying that I would be fine and I wouldn't need this ect ect and now I have to go into there saying that I do need it. Go what an idiot I am! It's so hard, I really don't know what to do! I used to self harm so badly and Im struggling not to begin doing it all over again. I feel that it would be unfair on luke to do that to myselfbut that makes it worse because I just feel awful for even feeling like I want to self harm. Also, I just feel like I can't cope and I feel awful for saying that because I feel like I should be able to cope!
I'll update how it goes tomorrow x

 

[xpinkness87x]

Hope everything goes ok on friday Jenny x

 

[Luke's_mummy]

Had my appointment with perinatal mental health today. Couldn't have gone better!! Been perscribed sertraline (zoloft) on 25 mg for first 3 days to minimise side effects then on day 4 that goes up to 50 mg. Also having a cpn come to see me and I have to go and see the dr I saw today again in 3-4 weeks to see wether my meds need changing or if anything else is needed alongside the meds and seeing the cpn. Really glad I did it now, feels like I'm finaly being treated properly! Hope everyone is doing okay xxxx

 

[jenny_wren]

sounds promising hun ...
must be a huge relief!!

hope you start feeling better soon



xx​

 

[Luke's_mummy]

Thanks babe, yeah it really is a huge relief. I was panicing so so much but it went so well!!

 

[Raggydoll]

Jenny, hope tomorrow goes well.

Hi Mummy2b17, glad you got good help today. I hope things keep getting better for you.

 

[Luke's_mummy]

thanks Raggydoll (dont know your name sorry) I'm really pleased with how it went. (its Alice btw =] ) xx

 

[annawrigley]

im really not coping at all... i have nothing to live for

 

[annawrigley]

i was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with noahs dad for 14 months (altho i would rather he beat me black and blue all day than made me suffer the emotional abuse.. thats what put me in this state in the first place) i finally managed to shake him off in november for 3 months (well he dumped me for someone else but at least he was out of my life for a bit) until he wormed his way back in just before noah was born. we got on really well at first and were really good friends but its got worse and worse since then, he started beating me up again, messing with my head, putting me down all the time saying i looked fat 2 days after giving birth and today we had a huge argument and he told me he slept with 4 other people during our relationship, he said ..and i quote.. "i enjoyed every single second of it and i dont regret it, if i could turn back time id do it allllll over again "
hes fucking killing me i hate him so much i cant even explain it, i knew about 1 time he cheated on me and thats what sent me into depression in the first place, it absolutely killed me, that was 13 months ago now but i still think about it every day and it cuts me up inside. now to find out there were 3 other people? i cant cope with these feelings, i want more than anything to do something stupid and be done with it

 

[Raggydoll]

thanks Raggydoll (dont know your name sorry) I'm really pleased with how it went. (its Alice btw =] ) xx

Thanks Alice I'm Anna.

 

[Raggydoll]

i was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with noahs dad for 14 months (altho i would rather he beat me black and blue all day than made me suffer the emotional abuse.. thats what put me in this state in the first place) i finally managed to shake him off in november for 3 months (well he dumped me for someone else but at least he was out of my life for a bit) until he wormed his way back in just before noah was born. we got on really well at first and were really good friends but its got worse and worse since then, he started beating me up again, messing with my head, putting me down all the time saying i looked fat 2 days after giving birth and today we had a huge argument and he told me he slept with 4 other people during our relationship, he said ..and i quote.. "i enjoyed every single second of it and i dont regret it, if i could turn back time id do it allllll over again "
hes fucking killing me i hate him so much i cant even explain it, i knew about 1 time he cheated on me and thats what sent me into depression in the first place, it absolutely killed me, that was 13 months ago now but i still think about it every day and it cuts me up inside. now to find out there were 3 other people? i cant cope with these feelings, i want more than anything to do something stupid and be done with it

Sweetie, you need to get help. Nobody should be hurting you physically or emotionally. Have you any family you can go to or a good doctor to speak to.

You have everything to live for in your little boy Noah.

I was in a relationship years ago with someone who hurt me so much emotionally. We lived together, one Sunday we were at the pub with his family when his mum asked when he was moving to the new flat. (First I'd heard of it) when we got home he admitted he'd been sleeping with someone who was meant to be a friend. I left him that day. It was the best thing I did.

You will always get support here. Please keep in touch with this thread. I have found so much support from the girls on here.

 

[carolyn_s]

Hey girls, havent posted in here in quite a while... just wanted to send to all those who need one and say chin up, hope your all doing ok xxx

 

[annawrigley]

i was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with noahs dad for 14 months (altho i would rather he beat me black and blue all day than made me suffer the emotional abuse.. thats what put me in this state in the first place) i finally managed to shake him off in november for 3 months (well he dumped me for someone else but at least he was out of my life for a bit) until he wormed his way back in just before noah was born. we got on really well at first and were really good friends but its got worse and worse since then, he started beating me up again, messing with my head, putting me down all the time saying i looked fat 2 days after giving birth and today we had a huge argument and he told me he slept with 4 other people during our relationship, he said ..and i quote.. "i enjoyed every single second of it and i dont regret it, if i could turn back time id do it allllll over again "
hes fucking killing me i hate him so much i cant even explain it, i knew about 1 time he cheated on me and thats what sent me into depression in the first place, it absolutely killed me, that was 13 months ago now but i still think about it every day and it cuts me up inside. now to find out there were 3 other people? i cant cope with these feelings, i want more than anything to do something stupid and be done with it

Sweetie, you need to get help. Nobody should be hurting you physically or emotionally. Have you any family you can go to or a good doctor to speak to.

You have everything to live for in your little boy Noah.

I was in a relationship years ago with someone who hurt me so much emotionally. We lived together, one Sunday we were at the pub with his family when his mum asked when he was moving to the new flat. (First I'd heard of it) when we got home he admitted he'd been sleeping with someone who was meant to be a friend. I left him that day. It was the best thing I did.

You will always get support here. Please keep in touch with this thread. I have found so much support from the girls on here.

thank you for your reply i know i need to get help im just too scared to go, i dont know what im scared of.. im seeing a psychiatrist once every month but i really dont get on with her, i dont tell her anything and so lately have just told her im doing fine so shes going to discharge me. i really need to talk about all this with someone, just not her.. ive heard therapy does amazing things for people ive just not found it yet. i really cant talk to my family, they dont really bother with me so i cant see myself opening up to them.

thanks, you're right, i was at a complete low when i posted that but hes the best thing thats happened to me, if it wasnt for him i probably would not even be here anymore.

good for you for leaving him. i never had the strength to do that. i see you're in a happy relationship now, i hope so much i can find that i know im only 17 and have years and years yet to find that person but it just feels it will never happen. ive had nothing but bad luck in relationships.

i will make sure to come back here, im so glad you replied, i was feeling so lost and alone. i hope you're doing ok x

ps you have a good name too

 

[jenny_wren]

he did come across a bit of a cock the other day anna

im sorry he's an arse towards you
you deserve so much more

you know where i am too hun

xxx​

 

[Luke's_mummy]

Hiya Anna darling... First and formost.. Huggggggs!! Secondly I can only reitterate what was said before. However daunting it may seem you should seek some help. I was dreading it but it went amazingly well if I'm honest! I know it's scary but it will be so worth it! As for the relationship well you don't need me to say that it's not a good place for you to be but I also appreciate that it's not an easy thing to get out of. You know where I am hunny if you ever need me and if you send me an inbox message on facebook then you can have my number if you ever want to text me anna sweetie xxxxx

 

[jenny_wren]

well today didn't go tooooo badly
i didn't cry but then i didn't really go into
great depth about things ...

she's referring me to a psychiatrist who will
book me an appointment in about 2 weeks time
she basically told me what i already knew but
only the psychiatrist can do anything about it
so he'll be looking at my meds and hopefully
we'll go into some detail about everything

the woman basically said 'you have severe pnd'
no shit! i could have told her that a year ago
and that was without me going into everything
so i dread to think what the shrink will diagnose
me with im manic depressive as it is but the
pnd really has taken over and it's time something
needs to be done about it i cant keep feel emotionless
towards my own daughter, the manic depression i can
almost cope with the pnd i CANT not by myself anyway ...

you never know they might find me
a wonder drug and we might just be able to get
me out the other side unharmed and intact lol

xxx​

 

[MiissMuffet]

Had my appointment with perinatal mental health today. Couldn't have gone better!! Been perscribed sertraline (zoloft) on 25 mg for first 3 days to minimise side effects then on day 4 that goes up to 50 mg. Also having a cpn come to see me and I have to go and see the dr I saw today again in 3-4 weeks to see wether my meds need changing or if anything else is needed alongside the meds and seeing the cpn. Really glad I did it now, feels like I'm finaly being treated properly! Hope everyone is doing okay xxxx

So proud of you huni It is hard making that 1st step to seeking help but it feels so much better after doesn't it! xx

 

[MiissMuffet]

i was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with noahs dad for 14 months (altho i would rather he beat me black and blue all day than made me suffer the emotional abuse.. thats what put me in this state in the first place) i finally managed to shake him off in november for 3 months (well he dumped me for someone else but at least he was out of my life for a bit) until he wormed his way back in just before noah was born. we got on really well at first and were really good friends but its got worse and worse since then, he started beating me up again, messing with my head, putting me down all the time saying i looked fat 2 days after giving birth and today we had a huge argument and he told me he slept with 4 other people during our relationship, he said ..and i quote.. "i enjoyed every single second of it and i dont regret it, if i could turn back time id do it allllll over again "
hes fucking killing me i hate him so much i cant even explain it, i knew about 1 time he cheated on me and thats what sent me into depression in the first place, it absolutely killed me, that was 13 months ago now but i still think about it every day and it cuts me up inside. now to find out there were 3 other people? i cant cope with these feelings, i want more than anything to do something stupid and be done with it

Have you told your sychiatrist about what you are going through hun? No matter how much u love him and how hard it is you need to get rid of him. he sounds like a total ass- NO ONE should have to go through any type of abuse or torment! And saying you look fat 2 days after giving birth!? What a total doush!! Seriously hun I'm worried about you that's so not cool I really hope things get better for you darling xx

 

[MiissMuffet]

well today didn't go tooooo badly
i didn't cry but then i didn't really go into
great depth about things ...

she's referring me to a psychiatrist who will
book me an appointment in about 2 weeks time
she basically told me what i already knew but
only the psychiatrist can do anything about it
so he'll be looking at my meds and hopefully
we'll go into some detail about everything

the woman basically said 'you have severe pnd'
no shit! i could have told her that a year ago
and that was without me going into everything
so i dread to think what the shrink will diagnose
me with im manic depressive as it is but the
pnd really has taken over and it's time something
needs to be done about it i cant keep feel emotionless
towards my own daughter, the manic depression i can
almost cope with the pnd i CANT not by myself anyway ...

you never know they might find me
a wonder drug and we might just be able to get
me out the other side unharmed and intact lol

xxx​

Glad you are seeing a psychiatrist huni
If you are still feeling this way this long after you have been on the meds obviously they are not for you. i hope they work with you to find some that suit you more. it's hard with pills though coz they can take a good few weeks to kick in so you gotta sorta trial them for a month or so b4r u know whether they are working or not. Sux huh xxx

 

[MiissMuffet]

Why is it that the one sunny day we have had in ages (winter), i felt really down!? I've been doing so well! Then today was a sunny saturday and i just felt so depressed. I thought it was supposed to be the other way round!? Maybe its coz since i have been feeling better the weather has been terrible, and the fact that today was nice was maybe taking me back to when i had ella and thats what the weather was like, and i was a total nutcase then! I dunno but hopefully watching a movie and eating carrots and dip might help. We are going to watch the time travellers wife. Wanted to get out the new halloween movie but it wasn't there