Politely saying no to internals once water breaks?

[MonstHer]

I have no tact. Honestly.
How do I politely say no if they try to have a look once the waters have broken?
In reality i want to say shove off! You know that gives me risk of infection!

 

[Wantingbbbump]

Tell them before, do a birth plan and have one to give to the staff. I think they will have to do a few though to make sure that it's time to push so you don't hurt yourself by pushing too soon. This is mt 5th baby and I was checked after my waters broke and never got an infection from the check. Good luck with your labor sweetie!

 

[luvmyfam]

How will they know when you are ready to push?? They do it with sterile gloves.

 

[MonstHer]

Thanks for replying ladies.

I'm going for as much of an unassisted birth as possible, with my doula and husband beside me.
(the midwife or doctor will be there of course, but don't go telling me what to do!)
The bacteria from the outside of your vaginal and perineal area still gets pushed inside during internals, despite their sterile gloves and gel. I know I've never been wiped off with a sterile solution before they go poking around for routine examinations, nor was it protocal when I worked in a hospital.
I'm going to try to minimize outside contamination as much as I can once the water has broken.

I understand a check maybe once or twice, but not every hour on the hour!

see... no tact I have. It's shameful.

 

[luvmyfam]

Well then just tell them that you don't want to be checked unless absolutely necessary.

 

[xxEMZxx]

For me my waters broke way before I had any contractions and obv they had to check me to see if I was dilating etc. I never got any infection...

 

[Narla83]

For me my waters broke way before I had any contractions and obv they had to check me to see if I was dilating etc. I never got any infection...

Same here, waters went and no infection. They also didnt check me every hour.

 

[LouLou78]

If your waters go and you are not in labour or minmal contractions the policy at hospitals certainly in the UK is avoid an internal. (sorry not sure where you are) A speculum is only performed if their is uncertainty of whether Spontaneous rupture of membranes has occured. Obviously if it is evident that your waters have gone, plenty of fluid then this speculum is not required. When it comes to an examination, this is only necessary if you are in obvious labour, contracting strong and regularly and a certain time has lapsed. Midwives in the UK are reluctant to perform a vaginal examination on someone who has ruptured their membranes and not in obvious labour. Unless of course, if there is a concern with baby heart rate, your observations etc then an examination would be indicated sooner.


Also, even with intact membranes, examinations occur 4hrly in hospital on a labouring women. Hourly is extreme.

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

I'd just make sure you tell them beforehand, and whoever you are having in the room with you, make sure they know what you want, so they can stop any internals. Save you the hassle of feeling like you need to be polite

Can't be too much help with this as both my labours, my waters didn't break till right before my children arrived

 

[kanga]

My waters broke and I didnt go into labour. They wanted to do an internal to *check* it was my waters but I said no, it will increase infection risk. So they scanned me instead (it was my waters - told ya so!). Stand your ground, or make sure your birth partner will for you x

I was also only examined once during labour after 5 hours (1cm) and I was 10cm next time she checked 4 hours later x

 

[cherryglitter]

i didnt get checked for hours. but that's because i told them to politely piss off!!
i was so so so sore inside from the pessaries for induction i just couldnt cope with having an internal check. so i disagreed!

i guess you could put something in your birth plan? but the risk of infection is highly unlikely

 

[Eternal]

Not sure where you are but I doubt many MWs would check every hour unless they thought you had made huge amounts of progress. might be wrong though.

My experience i didnt get checked much after my waters went, once i think when i was 10 cms

 

[sequeena]

Tell them to bog off! Luckily my waters broke when I was pushing so didn't have to fend them off

ETA: Eternal is right. I only got checked three times. Once at 11pm (had been begging to be checked all day as had been in hospital from 7am) then again at 3cm and last time at 7cm

 

[PeanutBean]

I agree with a birth plan and then don't worry about being impolite! It definitely increases the risk of infection and is not recommended, especially in cases of GBS colonisation.

I wrote a birth plan saying no internals at all as they were excruciating in my first birth, the worst bit and that is bloody saying something! I had a 22 hour labour this time with no internals at all. Your body will push when it's ready, you don't need an inaccurate gloved hand to tell you when you are ready. Measures of dilation say nothing about progress so unless there is something wrong, such as indication of malpresentation after prolonged pushing, I don't see the point in them.

 

[tristansmum]

i had my waters broken t 3 cm (induced). I was checked when i asked for pethadine at 4cm. when i was 7cm and when i start involuntarily pushing at 9.5cm. Waters broken at 6.30am and i was 10 cm around 4pm. one of those internals was cause i wanted pethadine and they need to check your not too close to delivering.

 

[PeanutBean]

A good mw can tell if you are close to delivery by your voice and behaviour. A woman can be checked at 3cm and deliver in an hour or at 9cm and not deliver for hours. Dilation means nothing.

 

[Kess]

I'm slightly concerned by the number of people in this thread saying "they have to do internals" - no, they don't. Like pretty much everything in labour, it's totally your choice. There's a whole thread in Natural Birthing about internals and why they aren't necessary if you don't want them. I had one, at my request, to know how far along I was before I got in the pool, and no others. I pushed when I felt like it (which wasn't until his head was crowning infact, the contractions worked perfectly well to move him down the birth canal without pushing). OP, don't worry about being blunt, I expect they're used to it since if I was anything to go by women in labour aren't generally the most tactful! It's perfectly polite to just say "No, thank you," or even just "No". Avoid peppering it with swear words (unless they try without your consent, at which point it's assault and all bets are off!) and I'd say you're fine. I agree with PPs that you should put it in your birth plan and make sure your birth partner knows.

 

[hellohefalump]

I totally hear what you're saying, not for hygine reasons though, I was examined after my waters broke with my first baby. I was having a contraction every minute, with about 15 seconds in between. It truly was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. More painful than the birth itself, really I'm telling the truth.

Anyway, she found out I was only 1-3cm dilated and sent me home. Two hours later, baby had arrived, nearly born in the car. In a different hospital, because the birthing centre we'd chosen was too far away and this baby was coming SOON. I could have told them that, from the pain I was in, but because it was my first baby I just believed them when they said I'd be ages yet.

 

[barbarap]

i wasn't checked a single time during my labour. when the mw got home she said she could clearly see i was in labour. as someone said on a post above, they can tell from your voice, noises and behaviour.
as to knowing when to push, well, my body told me that loud and clear!
if, for some reason, you had to be checked, ask her to make sure she's wearing new, clean gloves, that might help..??

 

[Tegans Mama]

How will they know when you are ready to push?? They do it with sterile gloves.

There are outward signs that you're ready to push. Your body KNOWS when it's ready - vocalisation changes (many women begin to "grunt" towards the end of a contraction), physically a womans body looks different when she is complete. A good MW will be able to tell when you're ready, without even touching you.

Pushing a baby out is the same physiological response as having a bowel movement. You don't need someone to tell you when to push THAT out, so why does someone have to tell a woman when to push her baby out?