Possible endo - doctor won't do anything :(

[redlemonade]

I've been having some symptoms that point to possible endometriosis for some time now, though these symptoms are milder than what other women appear to have. I get bad pain around ovulation (some months more than others), but generally my periods are regular, light and only 1 day of pain. Occasionally I get pain during BD or BM (sorry if that's tmi) but not all that often; though sometimes when it does happen it's extremely painful. Still, my GP reckoned that even mild symptoms can indicate a lot of endometriosis so she referred me to an OB/GYN, especially as this is our 6th month ttc.

Well, Since I was waiting so long to see this OB/GYN in the public system, I decided to go private and pay out to see him. My appointment was today and, frankly, I wish I hadn't bothered. What an unbelievably awful experience! I would have thought that, having paid out so much money, I'd have been able to have a lengthy chat and might have come out feeling supported, but nope!

He examined me and found "tenderness" but nothing else sinister (great), but said I may still have endo. BUT he said he's not going to do anything about it because we're ttc and because my pain "isn't that bad". Given that I've been in pain for a few days as I'm currently ovulating, I swear I just wanted to smack him right in his face. Not that bad? WHYYY do men become OB/GYN's, they have no earthly idea!? This reminds me of the first time I went to a (male) doctor with these pains and he told me "it's just ovulation pains, get over it".

I would have thought they could do a laparoscopy and clear it if they find endo, no? He said the only options are going on the pill and getting pregnant. Then he laughed and said "so my prescription is go get pregnant"!

He said there's no point doing a lap because we're ttc..? Is that odd? I thought they would do a lap BECAUSE we're ttc, no?

Moreover, he said he wouldn't refer to a fertility specialist until we'd been ttc for at least 18 months! I reminded him that I'm 34 and I consider that too long to wait, but he dismissed me entirely.

Given that this was a private consultation in particular, I'm thoroughly disgusted. I felt dismissed like I was a hypochondriac and a silly worrying woman. I was examined and finished up in less than 10 minutes. His parting words were "maybe I'll see you soon with a baby on board" - I thought, 'yeah right, you're delivering no child of mine'. He was condescending and patronising and incredibly unhelpful.

I feel so incredibly sad. I've paid out money to be treated horribly. I don't think I'll ever see a male doctor again. My experiences with male doctors and gynae issues have not been very positive. I would have hoped to have some answers, not to be told to go away. I really felt I was wasting his time. OK my pain isn't as bad as some women's, and 6 cycles probably isn't awful long. But I know I can still have endo and even blocked tubes, and he's going to make me wait for another year before he'll consider doing anything.

Has anybody got any advice for me? I'm sorry this has been such a long rant, and thank you for reading!

 

[Jenn2722]

That is really messed up! That they aren't doing anything!! And how did he noticed you had some scar tissue?? I ask because I have been going through the same thing you are.. I have had pain for 2 months, and they can't see or figure out what is wrong with me.. And it is in my lower pelvis.. I'm really glad you wrote this, I'm gonna ask my ob tomorrow when I see it.. And if they give you pain meds to help with the pain, don't bother cause it don't work.. Even muscle relaxers don't work.. But I hope you get your answers soon.. Cause I know the pain isn't fun!! Good Luck!!

 

[redlemonade]

He didn't say anything about scar tissue; he said he couldn't say for sure I have endo and won't do the lap to find out for sure. Only thing he noticed was "tenderness" in the spot where I always get pain. Same as you, it's lower pelvis. Very low down, on the right side.

Ha, he didn't even offer any pain meds! Wow, he was awesome wasn't he? TBH I didn't even want pain meds. I wanted answers. I wanted to feel supported and not dismissed.

Sorry to hear you've been in pain too, it's awful. I really hope you get better support from your ob/gyn than I did! Did they do a scan for you? It could be cysts too. (They ruled out cysts for me)

 

[Tink_]

It took me five years to get a laparoscopy done for my endo so I feel your pain, literally. I used to walk around/lie in bed calling myself endo-woes it was awful. After five years of frequently being in hospital and on morphine, they eventually did the lap and there was the scar tissue!

Afterwards I had the mirena coil and it's treated it brilliantly. Obviously had it removed now whilst TTC.

I think he is being lazy with the lap because basically if you got pregnant, your endo symptoms would likely go away or so I am told so I think thats probably his lame excuse.

Could you try a different GP? It's so frustrating. x

 

[Jenn2722]

He didn't say anything about scar tissue; he said he couldn't say for sure I have endo and won't do the lap to find out for sure. Only thing he noticed was "tenderness" in the spot where I always get pain. Same as you, it's lower pelvis. Very low down, on the right side.

Ha, he didn't even offer any pain meds! Wow, he was awesome wasn't he? TBH I didn't even want pain meds. I wanted answers. I wanted to feel supported and not dismissed.

Sorry to hear you've been in pain too, it's awful. I really hope you get better support from your ob/gyn than I did! Did they do a scan for you? It could be cysts too. (They ruled out cysts for me)

He is the best!! Makes me want to go to him!! LOL... But yea they ran every test possible.. Did an ultrasound outside and inside & did a CT with Dye.. Everything came back negative.. So I have no clue what is going on with me!! I will not leave that building tomorrow without answers.. I can't take this pain anymore.. And the pain has even effected me doing BD.. We tried last night and he got the tip in and I couldn't handle it anymore, so TTC should be every interesting!! But I would just demand answers, and keep going to them till they get sick of you and will finally do something.. I had an appointment everyday of the week and still haven't gotten any answers.. But it is pretty easy to get into my family doc and Ob..

 

[redlemonade]

It took me five years to get a laparoscopy done for my endo so I feel your pain, literally. I used to walk around/lie in bed calling myself endo-woes it was awful. After five years of frequently being in hospital and on morphine, they eventually did the lap and there was the scar tissue!

Afterwards I had the mirena coil and it's treated it brilliantly. Obviously had it removed now whilst TTC.

I think he is being lazy with the lap because basically if you got pregnant, your endo symptoms would likely go away or so I am told so I think thats probably his lame excuse.

Could you try a different GP? It's so frustrating. x

Thanks, and sorry to hear it took you so long to get a laparoscopy done! That's awful that you had to go through that.

You could be right about him being lazy actually. I think he just expects that we'll get pregnant eventually and he won't have to do anything. I guess I just thought he might try and help! Silly me.

My GP is actually amazing, she's been very supportive and it was my GP that referred me to the ob/gyn who dismissed me. I'm not even keen to see another ob/gyn now.

 

[redlemonade]

He didn't say anything about scar tissue; he said he couldn't say for sure I have endo and won't do the lap to find out for sure. Only thing he noticed was "tenderness" in the spot where I always get pain. Same as you, it's lower pelvis. Very low down, on the right side.

Ha, he didn't even offer any pain meds! Wow, he was awesome wasn't he? TBH I didn't even want pain meds. I wanted answers. I wanted to feel supported and not dismissed.

Sorry to hear you've been in pain too, it's awful. I really hope you get better support from your ob/gyn than I did! Did they do a scan for you? It could be cysts too. (They ruled out cysts for me)

He is the best!! Makes me want to go to him!! LOL... But yea they ran every test possible.. Did an ultrasound outside and inside & did a CT with Dye.. Everything came back negative.. So I have no clue what is going on with me!! I will not leave that building tomorrow without answers.. I can't take this pain anymore.. And the pain has even effected me doing BD.. We tried last night and he got the tip in and I couldn't handle it anymore, so TTC should be every interesting!! But I would just demand answers, and keep going to them till they get sick of you and will finally do something.. I had an appointment everyday of the week and still haven't gotten any answers.. But it is pretty easy to get into my family doc and Ob..

Oh that sounds awful. Definitely go in and demand answers! Good luck!

 

[redlemonade]

Uuggghhhh. Given that today I've been experiencing the WORST pain - even the action of sitting or sneezing hurts like hell down there - I'm even more annoyed at my experience with the ob/gyn.

Of course I thought of the perfect comeback about 24 hours later! Next time a male doctor dismisses my "womanly pains" I'm gonna kick him so hard in the nuts, and when he cries, I'm just gonna tell him to deal with it/every man feels this pain/'man up'

 

[melfy77]

Seriously?! That doctor is a total dumb*** Even mild endo can cause infertility (it did for my mom) and the fact that you're TTC is even MORE of a reason to get a lap done!!! I could understand 1 year, but 18 months??? Way too long for nothing! It sucks, but find a new doctor ASAP. And it might sound bad, but if you have a feeling you have endo, tell the doctor you've been TTC for a year-ish Because if you really have it, the sooner it gets taken care of the better!

 

[Ariannda]

Any chance you could see a specialist even if you have to pay ? What a jerk

 

[Sparkle_13]

It's really horrible that he made you feel that way and was so dismissive! Some drs really have a horrible bedside manner don't they!

I had a lap a few years ago where they found mild endo and lasered it out. My main symptom was pain during sex which started a few months after I went off the pill (after being on it for years) I also had painful periods and pain throughout the month. The pain initially went away after the lap but I started to feel it a bit although milder after about 6 months. I have only recently found out that endo is more likely to return when it is lasered rather than cut out...

The lap is mild for surgery but it is still surgery so was a very unpleasant experience/recovery etc... I wouldn't like to do it again unless my pain was much worse.

My suggestions even before you go to another gyne would be to see what else your regular dr can do especially as you said she was great. It might be different where you are but in Australia a GP should be able to send you to get an ultrasound where they can check for cysts (some get these when they have endo, some don't - I didn't) you could also ask about getting a dye test on your tubes at the same time although I think this is slightly more invasive so they may want to wait a little longer for the dye test - my Gyno didn't want me to do this until we'd been trying for 10 months. Are you also still on the wait list for the public Gyno - if I was you I would definitely still stay on this and then at least when you do get in you'll be able to get a 2nd opinion and for free

So basically I would say do everything else you can, but I do think you should wait a bit longer before trying another gyne to get a lap but definitely not 18 months like he suggested that's ridiculous..

Happy to answer any questions you might have

Xxx

 

[dovkav123]

redlemonade,
I suggest you to go to the hospital emergency. Tell them you have a horrible pain (a little acting skills will help)and they'll do an ultrasound. They won't see ando or scars, but they will see the shape of uterus, fibroids, polyps and cysts. You may have a cyst. If it is big, it can burst!
The best time to go is when you O. Dr. will see you matured follicle should be 20mm, and also he can count antral follicles. On each side should be around 7. It's a good sign of healthy ovaries.
The whole health care is a big act!
Don't feel bad!
Good luck!

 

[redlemonade]

Seriously?! That doctor is a total dumb*** Even mild endo can cause infertility (it did for my mom) and the fact that you're TTC is even MORE of a reason to get a lap done!!! I could understand 1 year, but 18 months??? Way too long for nothing! It sucks, but find a new doctor ASAP. And it might sound bad, but if you have a feeling you have endo, tell the doctor you've been TTC for a year-ish Because if you really have it, the sooner it gets taken care of the better!

Thanks! I did consider lying and saying I'd been ttc for longer but my GP (who refers me to these specialists) knows the truth

I'm going back to my GP and will push to see someone else I think. Though another part of me is afraid and doesn't want to see any medical professionals anymore

 

[redlemonade]

It's really horrible that he made you feel that way and was so dismissive! Some drs really have a horrible bedside manner don't they!

I had a lap a few years ago where they found mild endo and lasered it out. My main symptom was pain during sex which started a few months after I went off the pill (after being on it for years) I also had painful periods and pain throughout the month. The pain initially went away after the lap but I started to feel it a bit although milder after about 6 months. I have only recently found out that endo is more likely to return when it is lasered rather than cut out...

The lap is mild for surgery but it is still surgery so was a very unpleasant experience/recovery etc... I wouldn't like to do it again unless my pain was much worse.

My suggestions even before you go to another gyne would be to see what else your regular dr can do especially as you said she was great. It might be different where you are but in Australia a GP should be able to send you to get an ultrasound where they can check for cysts (some get these when they have endo, some don't - I didn't) you could also ask about getting a dye test on your tubes at the same time although I think this is slightly more invasive so they may want to wait a little longer for the dye test - my Gyno didn't want me to do this until we'd been trying for 10 months. Are you also still on the wait list for the public Gyno - if I was you I would definitely still stay on this and then at least when you do get in you'll be able to get a 2nd opinion and for free

So basically I would say do everything else you can, but I do think you should wait a bit longer before trying another gyne to get a lap but definitely not 18 months like he suggested that's ridiculous..

Happy to answer any questions you might have

Xxx

Thank you so much for your response. It's good to know about the lap; tbh I thought it was much milder than that. Perhaps this doctor just didn't want to put me through that.

I've already had ultrasounds for cysts and they only found done small ones but on the other ovary; not the side where I get pain.

I don't think I'm on the public gyno list anymore, and that was for the same doctor anyway.

Thanks a lot for your support - I may be back with more questions

 

[redlemonade]

redlemonade,
I suggest you to go to the hospital emergency. Tell them you have a horrible pain (a little acting skills will help)and they'll do an ultrasound. They won't see ando or scars, but they will see the shape of uterus, fibroids, polyps and cysts. You may have a cyst. If it is big, it can burst!
The best time to go is when you O. Dr. will see you matured follicle should be 20mm, and also he can count antral follicles. On each side should be around 7. It's a good sign of healthy ovaries.
The whole health care is a big act!
Don't feel bad!
Good luck!

I should have done that last night, the pain was horrendous

Even a hot water bottle and painkillers didn't touch it. I might remember that for next time! Though I'm not the greatest actress lol!

I did have ultrasounds before though and they only saw tiny cysts on the opposite ovary.

Thanks for your help!

 

[redlemonade]

Any chance you could see a specialist even if you have to pay ? What a jerk

Thanks Arianda! Yeah I could probably afford to see another specialist. I'm just really annoyed that I've wasted that money though

 

[StephtheHiker]

I went to the doctor referred by another because they said I have probable endometriosis. However, there are risks involved with a lap and she.wanted to hold off. If I still had problems ttc then she would gladly do the surgery. But it is a surgery and there's recovery time. I was pretty happy to have a doctor not want to push expensive procedures on me esp right before we started ttc. It IS frustrating not knowing if you have.it or not...I hate not knowing. My periods are so painful that I pass out in public places or throw up. Even then, its not a for sure thing. Pain during bding could be something else entirely. What is upsetting is hat he didn't offer any other suggestions!! I would complain.

 

[redlemonade]

I went to the doctor referred by another because they said I have probable endometriosis. However, there are risks involved with a lap and she.wanted to hold off. If I still had problems ttc then she would gladly do the surgery. But it is a surgery and there's recovery time. I was pretty happy to have a doctor not want to push expensive procedures on me esp right before we started ttc. It IS frustrating not knowing if you have.it or not...I hate not knowing. My periods are so painful that I pass out in public places or throw up. Even then, its not a for sure thing. Pain during bding could be something else entirely. What is upsetting is hat he didn't offer any other suggestions!! I would complain.

Thank you so much for your reply. It's actually starting to make sense why he didn't offer a lap. I just hope he doesn't make me wait another 12 months if we haven't conceived by then, it just seems awful long and I'm 34!

Wow your periods sound awful, I'm sorry to hear they're so bad. Good luck to you and thanks!

 

[StephtheHiker]

That is a really long time to wait Hopefully you won't need to wait and you'll get your bfp soon!

 

[redlemonade]

Thanks hun! Best of luck to you too!