Post Partum Depression

[DLA]

I'm really struggling. I just gave birth 3 days ago and since then I've been in a state of panic and depression. I don't understand this. I love my little boy so much and never expected to feel this way. I feel totally incapable as a mother. I called my doctor today and she prescribed me zoloft but said it would take a week to work. I'm in and out of states of anxiety all day where I'm shaking, hyperventilating, nauseous and I don't even know why! This is so confusing. I never expected anything like this.

 

[hot tea]

It has only been three days. It is not unusal for mothers to be very emotional the first ten days post partum - the hormone levels are incredible. I know on day three I had some very messy moments myself. Including anxiety, uncontrollable crying.

Take some deep breaths. PPD should never be diagnosed until at least a few weeks PP, IMO. Try your best to step outside for some fresh air.

 

[tummymummy]

i cried for days after birth of lo hun, i was so panicky and cried for hours at a time. Personally i would hold off taking such strong meds at this stage but if your unsure maybe get a second opinion xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[HappiestMom]

my LO is 2 weeks and 2 days now and Ive been on zoloft since thursday and today was one of the worst days ever..hubby went back to work and I feel just helpless and alone and LO is sick and fussy on top of it..I can hardly stop crying to get her to stop crying..its driving me crazy...I hope our meds kick in soon hun and that we both feel better soon...im tired of being miserable...

 

[DLA]

Thank you for the replies. I really hope this gets better. I don't understand this anxiety I'm having. I have no reason for it. I never thought this would be anything other than joy so this so confusing.

 

[hot tea]

It is not abnormal to feel this way, at least in the first weeks. Having a baby is huge. One minute your belly is full, the next it is empty. It is impossible to put it into words, but for me I have been left feeling sort of... Alone. In myself.

Your body is changing, even your emotional state is changing. Your lifestyle is changing. Allow yourself to feel the anxiety/saddness... Do things for yourself that make you feel good. Just something as simple as a cup of tea after a good, mindful cry can help, even if it doesn't feel like it right away.

 

[DLA]

It is not abnormal to feel this way, at least in the first weeks. Having a baby is huge. One minute your belly is full, the next it is empty. It is impossible to put it into words, but for me I have been left feeling sort of... Alone. In myself.

Your body is changing, even your emotional state is changing. Your lifestyle is changing. Allow yourself to feel the anxiety/saddness... Do things for yourself that make you feel good. Just something as simple as a cup of tea after a good, mindful cry can help, even if it doesn't feel like it right away.

You really put it well. I wanted all this and still do but really wasn't prepared for the physical aspect of giving birth. I honestly didn't think it was that big of deal but it really is kind of traumatic on your body physically (and I had a relatively uncomplicated vaginal delivery). And then although I've always wanted to become a mother (and still do), I'm struggling with the fact that a few weeks ago my identity and life was so different. I went to work everyday and did other things, now every day I spend at home being a mom, just so different. I guess I was really naive going into this, I knew it would be an adjustment but didn't think I would struggle with it like this. Thank you for your replies, they really are very helpful.

 

[hot tea]

This is my second and I feel exactly how you discribed it! Luckily I have experienced it before so I know that feeling goes away. Jsut six days ago me and my OH could have sex every single night, cuddle all night - that change is really hard on me. But we have managed to do something different, now we shower together every night and that has helped me a lot. It isn't the same thing, but it is still closeness.

Try and find little middle grounds too maybe? For the things that really bother you.

I don't think it is naive not to expect it. It is IMPOSSIBLE to understand how this feels unless you are living it. Even this period fades away in memory.

 

[Kimmi82]

I'm totally with you hun, its totally normal to feel like that, totally! Your life has been turned upside down and 3 days after youll still feel like it will never get better, but it will, slowly, but it will trust me x I had an emergency section after a very traumatic induction and was left feeling totally traumatised i had moments of pure hysteria and just looking at my baby would leave me feeling terrified, i also struggled to bond and i felt like she wasnt my baby, i did end up seeing my doctor after my midwives picked up on how i was feeling, and ive never looked back, he was so understanding and counselled me himself, talking about it and being honest about my feelings helped me no end. He did prescribe me with anti-depressants and they have helped but i think time has been the best healer. Hang in there xxx

 

[DLA]

This is my second and I feel exactly how you discribed it! Luckily I have experienced it before so I know that feeling goes away. Jsut six days ago me and my OH could have sex every single night, cuddle all night - that change is really hard on me. But we have managed to do something different, now we shower together every night and that has helped me a lot. It isn't the same thing, but it is still closeness.

Try and find little middle grounds too maybe? For the things that really bother you.

I don't think it is naive not to expect it. It is IMPOSSIBLE to understand how this feels unless you are living it. Even this period fades away in memory.

I know it's different for everyone but I just wonder how long till I feel back to normal. The panic that I feel is just intolerable.

 

[DLA]

I'm totally with you hun, its totally normal to feel like that, totally! Your life has been turned upside down and 3 days after youll still feel like it will never get better, but it will, slowly, but it will trust me x I had an emergency section after a very traumatic induction and was left feeling totally traumatised i had moments of pure hysteria and just looking at my baby would leave me feeling terrified, i also struggled to bond and i felt like she wasnt my baby, i did end up seeing my doctor after my midwives picked up on how i was feeling, and ive never looked back, he was so understanding and counselled me himself, talking about it and being honest about my feelings helped me no end. He did prescribe me with anti-depressants and they have helped but i think time has been the best healer. Hang in there xxx

This gives me hope because my biggest fear is that I'll always feel like this.

 

[Loubpop]

Please dont be too hard on yourself. I felt like this for a few weeks after. Its normal. I am only just starting to feel "normal" again. It will pass....in the meantime try and lean on a few close friends and family to help with LO. My DH was worried and looked up PPD/PPA and "baby blues". He found the info on this site helpful for him to understand what was going on too.

 

[TattooedMom2B]

I just had my little guy 2 and a half weeks ago, and I've thankfully had my OH around to help with alot of it up until now. My baby rarely sleeps at night and fusses alot, leaving me very sleep deprived and that just makes me feel overwhelmed, depressed and angry. Sometimes I find myself saying I wished I wasn't a parent, etc because I feel like my life has totally flipped upside down. Part of me wonders how I'm going to cope over the next few months and I feel like a bad parent because of it.

I know it's not his fault for crying but I often wonder if I'm getting PPD because of how I've been feeling. I really hope these feelings go away so I can start to enjoy being a mom.

 

[babyhopes2010]

if its only been 3 days i wouldnt say it was PND.i felt like that the last few days.feelinglot better today x

 

[DLA]

It's been almost 2 weeks and I feel monumentally better already. Not sure if it's just hormones going back to normal or the medication working or both. I feel like my dr was quick to assume it was pnd but don't really care at this point since I am feeling much better and only take the Zoloft. I don't really like the way the Xanax makes me feel and I have to pump and dumP if I take it which bugs me so I don't take it at all.

 

[Nimbus]

I've been having a bit of a wobble the last couple of days, and although it's my second child and i knew to expect it, it is still a shock. There's so many things that change so quickly... our identiy has completely changed so amazingly, and it takes time to catch up with it mentally.

It's ok to feel like this right now, it's not ok to feel like this for a long time... words from my health visitor, that i should have listened to more carefully after my last pregnancy.

Give yourself some time, if possible try to do some stuff that makes you feel a bit more normal. Make some plans, some things to look forward to. If your the kinda person that likes to wallow, do so, but not for too long. if you need to have a good chat about stuff, then find some time to meet up with some friends to listen to you. Be honest with those around you and any health care professionals you meet with, as this is the only way they can help you properly. Accept help / ask for help from people around who will help with the chores etc, so that you don't need to worry about that. Something both myself and my oh had to do last time (we both ended up with PND), was to try to make time each day when we would simply coo and spend time looking at and marvelling over our little one. We also would discuss with each other 3 things that had been good that day with our child, so that we had good memories and positive thoughts.

If you do end up with PND, then please be easy on yourself, it's ok to feel run down and rubbish, and also know that witht he right care and help you can get fully better. Neither of us had ever had any mental health problems before, so never expected it, especially when we had all that we had wanted. it just feels odd to feel so sad. We were diagnosed 8 months into our childs life, so relatively late on, but i want to reassure you that our child is as happy as can be and wonderful. We both have a good relationship with him and i don't feel that he has been effected by our illness.

Hope this helps in some way, all the best x x

 

[Nimbus]

It's been almost 2 weeks and I feel monumentally better already. Not sure if it's just hormones going back to normal or the medication working or both. I feel like my dr was quick to assume it was pnd but don't really care at this point since I am feeling much better and only take the Zoloft. I don't really like the way the Xanax makes me feel and I have to pump and dumP if I take it which bugs me so I don't take it at all.

Just read this update, so glad you're feeling much better, i hope it continues