Pregnancy after having a special needs child

[smileylexie]

Thank you so much SL

You're almost halfway now! Do you find your second pregnancy is going quicker than your 1st? My 1st seemed to go sooo slow!

xx

I think with my second time's whizzing by, certainly the worry / uncertainty as to whether this LO will have downs makes it go so quicker!

Also having to run around after maddam everyday is so tiring!! her favourite thing to do at the moment is to empty things, cupboards, bowls of food etc i'm forever busy i sometimes forget that there's another one in there

 

[Lottie86]

I just had my first anomaly scan and no sign of spina bifida yet! Yay.

Brilliant news Will you have to have several more anomaly scans throughout the rest of the pregnancy?

 

[Emmylou27]

Yay Lisa!!!!

I just had my first anomaly scan and no sign of spina bifida yet! Yay.

This one is going much quicker!

I hope everyone's pregnancy is going well!

Emma - that's fantastic news! All will be good, you'll see. Have you had the triple test results back yet?

Are you going to find / have you found out what you're having this time?

 

[Emmea12uk]

I just had my first anomaly scan and no sign of spina bifida yet! Yay.

Brilliant news Will you have to have several more anomaly scans throughout the rest of the pregnancy?

Thank you. I have one more at nearly 20 weeks. Then I will have a private one at 25 I think.

 

[Emmea12uk]

Yay Lisa!!!!

I just had my first anomaly scan and no sign of spina bifida yet! Yay.

This one is going much quicker!

I hope everyone's pregnancy is going well!

Emma - that's fantastic news! All will be good, you'll see. Have you had the triple test results back yet?

Are you going to find / have you found out what you're having this time?

No I didn't have any tests, not even nt scan as I don't want to worry about stupid percentages and risks. I would never have an amnio so there is no sense in knowing before birth. I would just freak out for no reason. What will be will be!

I will find out if it is a girl or boy - they wouldn't tell me this time so I think it is a girl.

 

[Emmylou27]

No I didn't have any tests, not even nt scan as I don't want to worry about stupid percentages and risks. I would never have an amnio so there is no sense in knowing before birth. I would just freak out for no reason. What will be will be!

Can see where you're coming from. They didn't offer me the triple test with Daisy but I had it this time round and although the Spina Bifida risk was 'low' I then started to panic about the other odds.

Hope it all goes well for you. x

 

[Caezzybe]

Bad news for me, I'm afraid My pregnancy was lost on Friday at 6+5, I've got an appointment with the GP on Thursday and will ask some questions then but the hospital staff said there won't be a chromosomal investigation as this is "only" my second miscarriage (obviously the fact I also have a T21 baby boy doesn't count)

 

[Lottie86]

I'm so so sorry

 

[xLisax]

So, so sorry to hear that xxxxx

 

[smileylexie]

So sorry to hear of your loss hun xxxxx

 

[Emmea12uk]

No I didn't have any tests, not even nt scan as I don't want to worry about stupid percentages and risks. I would never have an amnio so there is no sense in knowing before birth. I would just freak out for no reason. What will be will be!

Can see where you're coming from. They didn't offer me the triple test with Daisy but I had it this time round and although the Spina Bifida risk was 'low' I then started to panic about the other odds.

Hope it all goes well for you. x

I am suprised at that - I thought mine would be high based on previous history alone!

 

[Emmea12uk]

I am so sorry for your loss caezzybe it is so frustrating and heartless that they won't even try to give us answers - when I loss my last they wouldn't even entertain it. I was convinced it was another ntd.

 

[Emmylou27]

I am suprised at that - I thought mine would be high based on previous history alone!

I know, it's weird. I can't remember the exact levels cos they're not on the letter but the midwife told me that, for example, they worry about anything over '2.5' and my reading was '0.5' - something like that.

To be honest though, I could have had all the tests in the world (I think I did have!) but until I actually had Alfie in my arms I didn't fully believe all would be ok.

 

[Emmea12uk]

No - I don't think I will believe it until I get to hold her!him unlike last time.

 

[Newt]

gosh what a mixed thred of happy news and sad. sending love to you all.
I am not reallyup for having tests, I know it wont make any difference to how I feel about bubba, eve though I am older, so i feel what will be will be, iykwim.

 

[Adanma]

oh caezzy I'm sorry! You're in my prayers. It's such an emotional thing to go through I feel for you and family.

AFM: When I was preg with 2nd boy we didn't have Ian's diagnosis yet. The last pregnancy which I lost and this one and while ttc, people have been asking if I'm worried I'll have another kid on the spectrum. No I'm not. If God thinks I'm strong enough to be a good mom to two kids on the spectrum and a NT child then I believe I can too. I think my friends worry more than me because they see the challenges a lot and hear about them, but not so much the wonderful cherished moments. I think people tend to talk and vent about negative things more than good (myself included) so I guess I can see how someone could think it would be impossible to have more than one.

I also think that when I do talk about the wonderful things like Ian becoming more social it just seems like a normal thing to my friends with NT kids so it's not really noteworthy to them you know what I mean? So me gushing about Ian calling a kid in his class a friend doesn't register as special to them where as me talking about the meltdown from hell in the grocery store is noteworthy.

Anyway long winded sorry. Short answer: nope not worried!

Adanma

 

[kelzyboo]

I'm glad your not worried Adanma and huge congratulations on your pregnancy!

I agree we tend to vent our frustrations to other people (we have to vent somewhere, right?), so thats kinda all they see, they don't see the good stuff and the fantastic moments we have with our children (and there are so many of them) and even if they saw it, it wouldn't mean much to them unless they had an as child! Like when my daughter walked up to me and said 'i love you' followed by a big kiss, others take that for granted where as we know how special it is because it doesn't happen very often, the good things far outweigh the bad!

I'm not worried either, whatever happens is ok with me and somehow i will cope!

Abbie's taken to giving my belly a kiss occaisionally and i love it, i do think i get a little more affection from her than most as parents i've spoken to, if i have another child with as then i will handle it as i have handled it this time, it could be so much worse and i'm grateful for my healthy child, extra needs are just that, extra needs xx

 

[Newdreemz]

to everyone, i hope you have happy healthy pregnancies....and happy babies whatever the outcome x

I worry more about coping with my daughters Autism with a newborn baby rather than having another child with autism to be honest, bump has a different father so i'm hoping this one doesn't but i will learn to cope if he has, same as i have with my little girl.

It's not easy, shes very demanding but shes worth all the exhaustion!

There is no way to know if LO is Autistic before birth so all i can do is wait, hopefully having now expirienced it i will spot the symptoms far earlier than with Abbie!

All i can know right now is that i love my little angel and my bump and it doesn't matter what challanges i have to face, i will face them with my children and thats what counts, i couldn't be prouder of Abbie, her Autism is just a tiny part of her wonderful personality!

Were in the same boat! I have a son who is 3 years old with autism, and I don't necessarily worry about this one being diagnosed with the same condition..just worried about how much attention my son will need while taking care of a newborn. My son is so exhausting as well. But I think once you get the hang of it, We'll be okay! lol

 

[kelzyboo]

I think your right Dreemz, we just have to work out our own routines and we will cope just fine, we have to make it work for our own families needs the routines may not be as conventional as some peoples but hey, the things we deal with every day i'm sure we can make it work!

My only plan is to involve her as much as she will allow me to and back off when she wants me to lol The truth is she will make a fantastic big sister and your son a big brother and we will find our own ways of working things out!

Lol i probably won't be so confident in a few months time x

 

[Newdreemz]

I think your right Dreemz, we just have to work out our own routines and we will cope just fine, we have to make it work for our own families needs the routines may not be as conventional as some peoples but hey, the things we deal with every day i'm sure we can make it work!

My only plan is to involve her as much as she will allow me to and back off when she wants me to lol The truth is she will make a fantastic big sister and your son a big brother and we will find our own ways of working things out!

Lol i probably won't be so confident in a few months time x

Girl i know! Lol. Lets cherish these precious moments of sleep while we can!