Pregnancy blues?

[Wishx]

I had my 14 week check up with my doctor and they're concerned about my pulse? My blood pressure was about average but my heart was beating really fast. I did speed walk to my appointment but they want to see me back in 2 weeks with blood pressure recordings.
I feel like i've been having pregnancy blues. I am very fortunate to be pregnant but i keep waiting for that moment when i will finally be happy about it and excited. I love looking at baby stuff and this is what i have always wanted i just feel like i'm in disbelief?
My mom went ahead without my approval and told my dad im pregnant (they're divorced) when she knew it would be a touchy subject with him. My dad is older and i don't think he overly wanted to be a grandpa and he doesnt really want to be around the noise.

I dont really know what im looking for from this post..i guess i just needed to vent :/ My doctor told me i need to chill out and stop stressing so that is what i shall try to do today..

 

[Ragnhild]

I have really bad MS even now and that gets me down a lot. However I had a scan today and suddenly everything changed - the nausea cramps nothing felt so bad anymore. Hope you have a good moment soon too and can start feeling excited. for me at least as long as I focus on good things and can be positive it makes all the physiological discomforts bearable. And it's not your problem if your father is older and doesn't want a grandchild, not like you expect anything it sounds like - remember this is what you want and that's all that matters. If you're happy and the baby is everything will be fine. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Wishx]

I think I just had a rough day yesterday. I haven't talked to my dad yet but I'm sure he will be supportive.
I have a great support system and everyone is so excited for me..I'm not sure why I'm not more excited. I don't feel pregnant yet. I had MS and cramping but it's all pretty well gone. I just feel bloated I think once I find out the gender I will be really excited

 

[Mummafrog]

Before my first baby I spent years fantasising about it and wishing so hard and googling all the things I would buy, I'd never felt such a deep, longing emptiness in my life apart from wanting to be pregnant, then when I finally was.. I'm not sure, it was just so hard to believe that I didn't really feel much of anything. Also I think wanting it that badly and spending so long imagining how I was going to feel put too much pressure on and I was worried and confused about why I didn't feel excitement or love.
I remember not believing it was real so much that subconsciously I believed that I would be pregnant, spend a few days doing the birth bit and then the baby wouldn't be there and I'd go back to normal. People used to give me sympathy when I explained that feeling and I was like no I'm not sad! It's just that hard to believe hehe.
Actually having the baby was everything I had ever fantasised about and more and I've loved every part of it and it's a lot easier for me to grasp what having my second baby will be like so it's easier to believe that it is happening

It still has taken me till after the 16 weeks of early pregnancy where I felt like I was going to die to be properly excited though. I'll hold my hands up and admit that when I felt my most ill there were a few days where I wished I would lose the baby, of course it was only a moment of desperation and madness.. but I share these honest thoughts and feelings because pregnancy is not just the glowy and happy state that society thinks it is, it's a complex and confusing time which includes a lot of uncertainty and worries. It's okay to not feel happy all the time, I doubt many people do.

Don't put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way, accept your feelings and accept that they will change a lot

 

[Wishx]

You couldn't have said it more perfectly
I talked to my dad last night and hes excited to be a grandpa so im feeling better. I think i definitly pictured it to be this magical thing where i cry every time i see it but that didnt happen
I'm very thankful and lucky to be pregnant. i love looking at baby stuff. I just need to learn to embrace how i feel now and know that its ok to not always be over the moon happy. It's still early on for me and i'm sure once i feel it move and know a gender i'll be so happy.

 

[Ragnhild]

Thanks mummafrog... I had those moments too during the worst weeks of MS and naturally felt guilty and awful.. Reading your post is a real comfort

 

[Mummafrog]

I'm glad it helped, there is too much silence about these feelings because everyone has this expectation on our feelings and what they should be.

Feeling movements is definitely when my joy really hit me this time can't wait to meet this little person.