Pregnancy Questions

[Lostio]

Hi everyone!

I have recently been discussing with a female friend of mine the ups and downs of the pregnancy period. She's thinking of having kids, and the idea of becoming pregnant actually pleases her endlessly, but I just really wanted to point out that there's a lot of stuff about pregnancy which might be uncomfortable or even painful at times, something which she seems to deny or discard, being too attracted to the notion of having a kid.

I'm not an expert on the subject, not at all, so I was just wondering if you could share here a brief summary of what are actually the pleasures and happy moments you have while being pregnant, as well as the most difficult and demanding times, so I can talk with her about this and further develop our discussion so as to make sure she is aware of everything that pregnancy encompasses before deciding to start and try to conceive.

I'd appreciate any kind of experience and moment you might find relevant to share very much. Thanks!

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I had a really easy pregnancy, and loved every second of it! I can count the number of times I was uncomfortable on one hand. The best part was getting to feel her move around and kick. I didn't find anything about the pregnancy to be difficult, except not being able to have a couple of beers after a long week at work like I normally would.

 

[Lostio]

Thanks for your reply. I'm really glad to know you had such a wonderful time being pregnant.

When talking about the "downs", I was thinking more of the type of things you were now unable of doing that sometimes may bother you. For instance, in terms of physical exercise and activities, I assume you had to limit them significantly, no?

What about aspects like morning sickness or nausea, are they often or are they mostly just a part of the initial stages?

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I didn't have morning sickness.

The things I had to limit myself on were things I didn't mind giving up. I was quite happy to let my husband clean the litter boxes, do the laundry, take out the trash, bring the groceries in, etc. He liked being able to do his part. I don't remember having to change my normal routine for anything else. Worked up until the day before my due date, ate what I normally ate, still exercised. There was no downside to pregnancy for me, except the alcohol part.

Every woman is going to handle pregnancy different. She may very well have that perfect pregnancy. Or she could be throwing up every day for the first several weeks. I don't think there is any harm in letting her have her fantasy until she does get to experience how pregnancy goes for her.

Now motherhood is a whoooooole different story!

 

[Amalee]

I'm not too far along, so I don't have much to report yet. I've had to pee a lot though, and my boobs have been sore. Thus far nothing I'd consider a real "down," except the alcohol, like she said. And actually, that means I'm saving money so... Not sure how to count that!

 

[seaweed eater]

First trimester was horrible for me. So much anxiety about miscarrying, and morning sickness is like having the flu for over two months. I was basically not functioning. I wasn't going to tell anyone at work until 12 weeks but I ended up telling my boss at 8 weeks because I knew people must be wondering what had happened to me. It's just the luck of the draw with that one. Some people feel totally fine first trimester. But it's more common to feel quite nauseated and fatigued.

After ~14 weeks I felt human again and the rest of the pregnancy was wonderful. It brought me joy every single day (as my son does now) and wasn't really uncomfortable at all the only bad part was after my due date (I gave birth 11 days over)...no physical problems but psychologically it was just very frustrating.

Giving birth is...well, there's nothing like it...it certainly wasn't fun but it has permanently changed the way I feel about myself and my body, for the better. I am very proud that I was able to carry my son and give birth to him. (And I had a medicated birth so it's not about going natural.)

Two other things about pregnancy that you should both know: 1) it really does put a damper on sex, if that's something you enjoy frequently now, and 2) it goes very very slowly. It does pick up after 12 weeks but even then you are always looking ahead to the next milestone and feeling envious of people who are due sooner than you.

Overall though, I think if your friend is looking forward to being pregnant, then she probably will enjoy being pregnant. I was looking forward to it too and it did not disappoint.

 

[Amy89]

Whilst I have enjoyed being pregnant to an extent, I'm not sure it's something that I want to repeat in a hurry.
The first tri seems like a distant memory now, but what I do remember is crippling nausea for a few weeks, then not being able to go one day without being sick. Car journeys made me sick, my favourite drinks made me sick, I didn't want to eat. It was miserable.
Then the second tri hit, along with Hyperemesis. I've been hospitalised 5 times in 3 months with severe dehydration, and each of those times I could have quite happily curled up and died I felt that awful. But also, I started to feel baby move around towards the end of the second tri, which was awesome. The last couple of weeks of second tri and the first few of third tri were the best weeks of my pregnancy. I felt somewhat normal, but along with that came getting big, losing mobility, not being able to do as much physically as I could before.
Then the third tri...I'm now 34 weeks and can safely say I'm having a pretty rubbish time. So far, I've now been admitted into hospital 6 times, the most recent being decreased movement. I have low amniotic fluid levels and baby hasn't grown in a week. I have heartburn, can't sit comfortably, feet in my ribs, need to wee more than once an hour. I totally get that I've had a rubbish pregnancy and it doesn't look set to get much better (dependant on my scan tomorrow, I may not even be pregnant for much longer), I'm at my wits end in pain and worry all the time. My clothes don't fit, my shoes don't fit, I can't stay awake for longer than 4 hours before I need a nap, driving is painful because of a sprog up in my ribs and pressing on my bladder.

BUT, I'd happily take all of this for a healthy son. I can't wait to meet my son, and I'm so done with being pregnant, but I want more than anything for him to have grown and my fluid levels to have replenished so he gets some more valuable time in utero. It kills me not being able to feel him move, not knowing if he's ok, or if he's grown since last week, and lord knows, pregnancy is uncomfortable. But who said it was going to be easy? I suppose I'm just being set up for parenting - it ain't easy!

At the end of the day, pregnancy is a means to an end. If your friend wants a baby, then for the sake of 9 months I don't think anything will change her mind. Plus, some women (my best friend included!) have no sickness, no growth worries, no movement worries, nothing. Most major complaint is a bit of heartburn.
I think that you need to tread a fine line between allowing herself to educate herself, and scaring her. If she does become pregnant and all you've done is tell her horror stories, then she'll have the most miserable time of her life. But I agree, preparation is key


Hope that helped a bit x

 

[seaweed eater]

Oh yeah, I forgot about the heartburn. THAT sucked...all through the pregnancy but especially third tri. Blechhhhh. I had to totally change my diet.

 

[littlesteph]

for me the pros and cons of pregnancy are:

Pros
Feeling and watching baby move
Going for scans and seeing baby
Finding out what your having
The moment you find out your pregnant
The first time you hold your baby
The buying of baby stuff, gets me so excited to finally meet my baby.

Cons
the morning sickness more so this time round
the heartburn
the greasy hair and skin
the feeling ill all the time
feeling tired most of the time
the back ache
the restless legs
the stretch marks
the Braxton hicks
the ligament pain