Pregnant after 5 losses

[cathgibbs]

Hi.

I am currently 4w6d pregnant. I have been pregnant 5 times before.. 4 miscarriages and 1 ectopic. My consultant has put me on progesterone, clexane and predinsolone and I have everything x that it works but I can't shift that horrible feeling. One minute I'm happy and excited and the next I'm absolutely petrified. I feel like lying in bed until I get a scan. I know I should be enjoying being pregnant but I'm a nervous wreck.. constantly knicker watching.. taking tests and googling information. I know I should stop but I can't.

 

[Bumpontherun]

You have my sympathy. I'm in the same boat. I've had three losses this year all between 6 and 7 weeks. I got my BFP on Friday - the same day I had a phone appointment with my GP to arrange referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. I'm trying hard not to be hopeful but I still find myself thinking about what it would be like to have a May baby. It's heartbreaking. I've promised myself I won't test again until Monday though...

I'll keep everything crossed for you.

 

[cathgibbs]

It's such an anxious time isn't It? I have even asked the hospital can they hold off an early scan for as long as possibly as I can't bring myself to have one to be disappointed yet again. So sorry for your losses hun.. before my 1st miscarriage I thought they were I credibly rare but it's only when you have one do you realise how many more people have been/going throigh the same thing. Do you know what your EDD would be? I have everything crossed for you too hun xxx

 

[Bumpontherun]

Oh thank you.

Before my 1st miscarriage I told everyone I was pregnant as soon as I got my bfp - it just didn't occur to me that i might not actually have a baby. Three losses later (and achemical too) I feel so niave.

I haven't even contacted the midwifery services yet. I'm going to wait to see if I make it past the 6 wk mark which seems to be the sticking point for me. I know the EPU would fit me in fairly quickly for a scan after 7 weeks so until I hit that point I'm trying not to think about it. My due date would be the 21st of may- which would be a lovely time to have a baby.

How are you feeling? Any symptoms yet? I've been feeling sick which is kind of reassuring but happened with my last 2 losses also so I know only time will tell. I hope all is still well for you. X

 

[Classic Girl]

I'm 44 and we've been TTC for almost 2 years (I have an 18 yo son and a 10 yo daughter from a previous marriage but DH desperately wants a bio) with a loss then 6 months of nothing then a loss and a year of nothing with every test, meds for DH, new OB, RE referral, uterine polyp removal and 2 months later BFP. I am maybe 12 dpo and the emotions and worry and boob-poking are horrid. Time seems to stand still right now. I get you

 

[AliDubs]

After 3 miscarriages, I gave up... took almost 2 years off and now we are back at it trying again. I just turned 40 which doesn't help my cause but it took until now for me to build up my nerves to go through this again. I absolutely understand where your head is at... especially the knicker watching and testing...The worry and fear can be all consuming!

 

[cathgibbs]

So glad there are others in the same situation as me....well, not glad as I wouldn't wish this on anyone but its nice to know we are not the only ones.

Had some tan cm 2 days ago which was only there when I wiped and as I am on clexane that could have caused it? I have a scan booked for this Friday but I am considering cancelling it. DH is working away the week after next so I am thinking of booking it for when I should be 8 weeks? I just don't know what to do, my anxiety is through the roof atm and am considering going to the Drs to see if I can get signed off for a week or so. I suffer with anxiety at the best of times and as I am on prednisolone I am not sleeping either. I have lost count of the amount of times I have poked my boobs!

Bumpontherun - I have sore boobs, lower backache on and off, extreme bloating, insomnia and feel like I have been run over by a tank in the evenings when my prednisolone wears off! Have they done any testing for you as you have had 3 mcs? xxx

 

[becsboo]

so sorry your going though the worry
its so hard i was checking my knickers every hour
im sure everything will be perfect
xx

 

[Bumpontherun]

So glad there are others in the same situation as me....well, not glad as I wouldn't wish this on anyone but its nice to know we are not the only ones.

Had some tan cm 2 days ago which was only there when I wiped and as I am on clexane that could have caused it? I have a scan booked for this Friday but I am considering cancelling it. DH is working away the week after next so I am thinking of booking it for when I should be 8 weeks? I just don't know what to do, my anxiety is through the roof atm and am considering going to the Drs to see if I can get signed off for a week or so. I suffer with anxiety at the best of times and as I am on prednisolone I am not sleeping either. I have lost count of the amount of times I have poked my boobs!

Bumpontherun - I have sore boobs, lower backache on and off, extreme bloating, insomnia and feel like I have been run over by a tank in the evenings when my prednisolone wears off! Have they done any testing for you as you have had 3 mcs? xxx

I understand how you feel about the scan. I won't be offered one until between 7 and 8 weeks and in a way I feel better waiting until then when we will either see the hearbeat or we won't - a big part of me thinks I will have started bleeding by then anyway.

So far I have only had testing from my general practitioner. They did my day 21 and menstrual hormone levels to see if I was ovulating (which I thought was a bit stupid since I'm getting pregnant I'm clearly ovulating!), an STD test and sperm analysis on my husband. We don't have the results for the sperm analysis yet and I'm pretty sure I don't have any STDs!! I think the hospital will do more in depth testing when my referral comes through. I'm aware that the chances of them finding a reversible cause are slim though since I have had two uncomplicated pregnancies in the past. My day 21 progesterone was low on the first test though which makes me wonder if I do have low progesterone levels.

I did a clear blue digi today which showed 3+ I was pleased as in one of my previous m/c s my lines started getting fainter which was the first sign. I've had quite a lot of crampy abdo pain which i do find worrying but no bleeding and still very tired and nauseous with intermittent sore boobs.

Let us know what you decide about the scan and I will keep everything crossed for you.

 

[cathgibbs]

As I have had an ectopic previously they like to scan you at 6 weeks to check everything is where it’s should but I feel the same as you. I would rather wait until 7/8 weeks as I know you should almost see everything important and that stage! Did you have your mc at that stage last time hun?

Has your GP ever thought of prescribing progesterone suppositories to you? Have you had your progesterone tested when pregnant? How far gone are you now? 3+ is an amazing sign! I have no CB digi left to do (thank God!) they always make my anxiety 1000 x worse… I am due to go shopping today so may pick one up… I can’t believe I just typed that sentence!!

Cramps are a good sign hun! Like you said, there is no bleeding with it and so it is just everything stretching getting ready to be a lovely home x
I forgot my prednisolone today and I do know that they mask pregnancy sickness…. I am sat in work feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck – feel like I could be sick at any moment so that’s promising! Im having twingy ovaries, sore boobs and insomnia. I so hope everything works out ok for us both, we can be bump buddies then.

I am going to continue with the scan on Friday, not that I want to. DH really wants us to go so I can’t be selfish and say no even though the thought is making me get upset. X

I had a FRER left so I used it this morning… will upload a pic now. Looks promising I think?

 

[cathgibbs]

Frer

 

[becsboo]

wow amazing line

 

[cathgibbs]

Thank you becsboo... I just hope everything will be ok this time. I don't think I could cope with another loss xxx

 

[becsboo]

Thank you becsboo... I just hope everything will be ok this time. I don't think I could cope with another loss xxx

its always a worry today you are pregnant take each day at a time

 

[Bevziibubble]

Great lines! Congratulations and a happy and healthy 9 months

 

[cathgibbs]

Ladies I'm having massive anxiety over my scan Friday. I've got symptoms but I did on my blighted ovum so now I can't help think it will happen again or it'll be another ectopic. I can't stop thinking bad things

 

[becsboo]

i know its hard hopefully Friday will come around quickly

 

[cathgibbs]

Thanks hun, just had to book half day at work today as I cant concentrate on anything. I was up at 4am from a nightmare that I had miscarried again

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry about the bad dream

 

[Bumpontherun]

Oh poor you. I will keep everything crossed for you tomorrow. Your line looks great.

I'm 5+3 today and I woke up this morning terrified that my sickness had gone - then had a massive wave of nausea in the shower! I'm just hoping things stay the same over the weekend, I feel like if I can hit 6 weeks maybe I can let myself start hoping a little. It's terrible but I can't quite remember when I miscarried before. I think I was between 5 and 6 weeks the first time because the EPU said there was no point in scanning me. I was 6-7 the 2nd time because they did scan me and kept an Eye on my HCG until it went down. Last time I think I was maybe not quite 6 weeks yet - I didn't even bother with the EPU because I knew there was nothing they could do.

I haven't really discussed any treatment with my GP - I got the feeling they didn't really feel like I was their problem - I was just a case to be referred on to a specialist. - I didn't think you could get progesterone prescribed in the UK - I've read a lot of the evidence which doesn't seem particulalry supportive although I see it's widely prescribed in the US.

If this pregnancy does end in a loss and to be honest that's still what I'm expecting then I will chase up my referral in the hope that I will have some medical input next time I get pregnant. I took us around 10 months of trying until the point where I had my chemical. After that I seem to get pregnant very easily - I just can't stay pregnant. I am really lucky to have my two girls already but in a way these losses are very difficult to accept because me first two pregnancies were easily conceived with no complications.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent and I will be thinking about you tomorrow. From what I read there is a chance of seeing the heartbeat at 6 wks and that would be a very poisitve sign - I really hope you come back with good news.