Pregnant after Infertility

[coquis224]

Hello all!

I just found out I'm preggers with #8 after struggling with male factor infertility and my mild PCOS. (my pcos corrects itself when I get under a certain weight). Anyway DH doesn't believe the baby is his! We had a sperm count about a year ago and they said he had low count /morphology. He had given up on TTC since I have other children. So we stopped BD every other day and have gone down to 2x a week. I'm thinking that's what helped get me pregnant since his sperm had time to build up. Has this happenend to anoyone else?

He wants me to get an abortion since he KNOWS it's not his.... I have never heard such crap! I just don't get his attitude and I'm not sure what to do...

Thanks for listening.

 

[Dill]

Would he be willing to do a paternity test? They have noninvasive prenatal paternity tests, so you can prove to him that it's his before baby is even born.

 

[coquis224]

I want to but the cost is quite prohibitive... around 1000.00 is the cheapest I can find.I just don't get why he is so adamant about him not being able to have kids.

 

[Flueky88]

Maybe you could have the dr explain that it is possible even with low count and mophology. It's more difficult but certainly not impossible. Maybe he's just in shock/denial and he'll come to his senses soon.

I'm so sorry you are going through this when this should be one of the most exciting times of your life.

 

[Dill]

Well that's weird, I posted a response and now it's gone. I did find one online for $800, which requires a $400 down payment. And I know some companies will offer income based scales (the $8,000 bill for my prenatal testing with DS was dropped down to $250) for tests. Honestly, I'd figure the $800 would be cheaper than the abortion, or than a possible divorce if he genuinely believes that you've been unfaithful.

I'd definitely be suspicious based on his over-the-top response, though. If he thinks you cheated, why demand an abortion instead of a divorce? I'd be inclined to suspect he may be projecting.

 

[Brightxeyes]

I've heard of cases of men getting the snip, and still their wives have gotten pregnant (and it's definitely their baby!!!) so it is possible!

Could he go to the docs for another sperm count? It could have mildly improved, so the chances could have been improved? Plus it's just a LOW sperm count.. theres still some swimmers doing their thing! It only takes one lucky one!

 

[coquis224]

Thank you for listening to me. He's still denying the baby but it is what it is. I'm not getting an abortion and he will just have to get a paternity test. I just still don't get why he reacted this way. We have been having issues and maybe he feels trapped IDk. I'm trying not to worry as I have been a single parent before.

If he doesn't come around I know I will be ok... It just sucks the way he is acting.

 

[Dill]

Hopefully he comes around!

 

[Savasanna]

This can absolutely 100% happen. I have friends who were given a less than 10% chance with a triggered IUI due to low sperm count, and they fell pregnant naturally after many rounds of IVF. I don't remember their percentages, but it seemed like it would be borderline impossible to conceive naturally, and they did twice. Like you said, sometimes it's just luck and timing.

That said.. I hate to be the one to say this but it sounds like there are deeper rooted issues here if your DH is so convinced that you cheated on him. This sounds like an incredible amount of distrust and insecurity for you to bear. Tread lightly moving forward.. while the paternity test will clear up that your DH is the father, it will not solve the trust issues that he's lashing out about.

Good luck!

 

[coquis224]

I agree. I'm about sick of it and we were actually going to separate before i found out about this pregnancy. I've already told him if he wants to stay around he can but I am not dealing with his constant accusations anymore. We have separated before because of his attitude and we BOTH saw other people so IDK why he's acting this way as this was 5 months ago. Thank you all for listening. I just wish he would understand that low count does not mean NO count.

 

[Dill]

I definitely agree with that assessment. Something is up. I would actually be inclined to suspect that he may be the one cheating - it's not uncommon for men to make wild accusations over the slightest thing when they are the ones doing it.

I hope this all has a happy ending for you, despite his poor behavior. Fingers crossed that he gets his act together and mans up!

 

[coquis224]

Indeed I agree if not i will be fine and I will rely on the courts if he bails. He is 42 years old with no kids... that is reasoning for saying he can't have kids as well. His ex wife was already fixed before they were married and his other relationships were short lived. Only time will tell. Thank you for your support tho!

 

[babyoneill]

when I was trying to concieve in 2011 my partner had a SA and they told us we had 1 in a million chance of conception due to 89% abnormal morph issues 6 months later I concieved my son.... so this time round trying for our second together we thought it may not happen as the previous test we thought we got lucky that time ...10 months later I'm here pregnant again and my partner is now on medication which lowers sperm count.... if it's gods plan for you to concieve it is ment to be... congratulations and please tell him to stop worrying so much and enjoy your pregnancy together

 

[coquis224]

Thank you so much BabyOneill! He's still being an ass but I love hearing stories of people who went thru the same thing. I think most men would be over the moon happy but I guess mine is just a special kind of jerk... And I agree that everything is in God's hands and he controls when things happen.

We are almost the same amount of days pregnant too lol.

 

[babyoneill]

Thank you so much BabyOneill! He's still being an ass but I love hearing stories of people who went thru the same thing. I think most men would be over the moon happy but I guess mine is just a special kind of jerk... And I agree that everything is in God's hands and he controls when things happen.

We are almost the same amount of days pregnant too lol.

we pretty much are my lmp would make me 11 w 1 days but I had a scan which put me forward

good luck x

 

[coquis224]

I have a scan to get an actual date on the 13th as well. My periods are very irregular so I should get a better date then. I'm dying to know what I'm having...9 more weeks lol.