pregnant by EX boyfriend

[lexington]

i was so sure i wanted to end things with my boyfriend last week i mean i HATED him, but all this week he's been all i could think about. Today i just found out i was pregnant. I guess my question is could me hating his guts be because of my hormones or do i really mean it??

 

[skyesmom]

could be your hormones as well, but it also depends a lot on how your relationship is doing and how are you two both towards each other.

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

First, congratulations!

Second, without knowing your relationship, it's hard to say whether this is a natural "we're growing apart and I really can't stand you" or a "I'm pregnant and can't stand you" kinda thing.

Sure, it's totally possible to for your anger to be heightened by the pregnancy. I'm very easily annoyed anyway, but when I'm pregnant, I'm brutal. I can't stand men, as a whole, when I'm pregnant. They just annoy the piss out of me and I know that about myself, so I have to make an effort not to overreact to everything.

However, I don't think your just going to start hating him out of nowhere. There's probably some stuff going on in your relationship that you're unhappy about and need to reevaluate, as it's probably causing some of the animosity you're feeling toward him.

 

[lexington]

long story short we hold grudges! he punishes me emotionally for my acts in the past (before i met him) by cheating and being secretive. And i began slowly growing to hate him because our entire relationship i've been faithful to him & giving him love. i began hating him because i didnt deserve that treatment. i didnt understand before but i guess my hormones help bring all of my emotions to the surface

 

[troxxy]

I had an ex who also held my past against me, even going as far as to get angry with me and put me down/punish me if he were to even see an ex of mine walking on the street or at school etc. This is abusive and shouldn't be tolerated, he's being beyond selfish toward you. You and your baby deserve better

 

[pinkribbon]

I had an ex who also held my past against me, even going as far as to get angry with me and put me down/punish me if he were to even see an ex of mine walking on the street or at school etc. This is abusive and shouldn't be tolerated, he's being beyond selfish toward you. You and your baby deserve better

This.

 

[skyesmom]

i agree with previous posters that you need a better and more honest relationship. nevertheless, have you told your ex you are pregnant? because despite being the way he is with you, he still deserves to know he has a baby on the way, as it is his child too.

having a child is a massive life change, and as it is already making you mature emotionally and deal with the things you haven't faced or dealt with before, it can have the same effect on him and make him grow into a better person.

and your baby as well has the right to at least have a chance of having both parents there (even if you're not together with him anymore!).

good luck with everything!!

 

[NicaQ]

In your previous post, you said how you weren't trying to conceive, but were nervous to test because you had been disappointed before, implying been disappointed from the BFNs you've gotten in the past. So were you trying or weren't you?

I do agree with PP that this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. You should tell him that you're pregnant with his baby, but make it clear that you don't need anything from him. I am a big believer that a guy can be a good father, but a bad/not right for you partner.

Congratulations on the pregnancy though, be sure to make an OB appointment, take prenatal vitamins, and start eating healthier

 

[skyesmom]

I do agree with PP that this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. You should tell him that you're pregnant with his baby, but make it clear that you don't need anything from him. I am a big believer that a guy can be a good father, but a bad/not right for you partner.

...i agree with the good father/bad partner part, but i'd really advise her against telling him she doesn't need anything from him. a guy can take that as an excuse and a green light to disappear and never be there for her or the baby. and she does need his support, as a mother of his child, not as his girlfriend, both emotional, physical and economical so...

..yeah, make it clear the relationship is over but make it clear as well that the baby is his responsibility too.

 

[MummyMana]

In your previous post, you said how you weren't trying to conceive, but were nervous to test because you had been disappointed before, implying been disappointed from the BFNs you've gotten in the past. So were you trying or weren't you?

You done have to be ttc to be disappointed by a bfn :s lots of people want children but aren't actively trying!

 

[NicaQ]

She's perfectly capable of taking care of this baby without him, especially if he's going to be abusive to her or her little one. That was my point of not needing him. Yes, he should at the very least take financial responsibility, but she doesn't need him thinking that she NEEDS him there when he sounds abusive from her own description.

I've been in a situation where I thought I could be pregnant at 17, I wasn't, and was surprisingly disappointed. I was very careful after that. That's just my personal experience, I'm just curious if OP was having unprotected sex or if this was birth control failure...it was a question. She doesn't have to answer obviously. Regardless of the choices she made, can't go back now, wishing her the best