Hi all,
I am expecting harsh judgement and perhaps I deserve it, but I am so scared I've harmed my baby and am in need of some reassurance/support. This will be long!
I started taking low dose over the counter co-codamol around four years ago to treat migraines/severe headaches. Each tablet contains 8mg of codeine, 500mg of paracetamol (think it's called Tylenol in the US?), and 30mg of caffeine. Initially I only took them as and when I needed, which was every few weeks.
However a few months ago I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks. This was devastating and I became very depressed, and this is when my codeine use increased. Initially it was for pain relief (I had to have a D&C following my miscarriage), but after a week or so I noticed I was taking it even when not in pain. I craved the chilled out feeling they gave me. I guess I was medicating my depression. The amount I took varied but at the worst I was taking 10 tablets a day (so 80mg of codeine a day). I know this isn't a HUGE amount but I recognised I was developing a problem and started cutting down. After a few weeks I was down to 4/5 tablets a day. Aside from rebound headaches which were relieved with paracetamol and some caffeine, I didn't experience any of the horrible withdrawal symptoms I was expecting.
In June I discovered I was pregnant again. Mindful of my previous loss and more determined than ever to stop taking codeine, I cut down even further and took 2/3 tablets a day. Although I must admit that there were a few days where I was incapacitated with migraine pain and had to take up to 4/5 tablets.
I'm now 16 weeks pregnant and haven't taken any codeine in 48 hours. This may seem like a small step but for someone who was taking up to 10 tablets a day for weeks on end this feels like a big achievement. I actually feel totally fine. I've had a few pretty gnarly rebound headaches but paracetamol, some caffeine, and a lay down in a dark room usually relieves them or at least takes the edge off. Aside from the headaches I haven't had any withdrawal symptoms.
I'm glad I've stopped taking co-codamol but am utterly terrified and ashamed that I may have already harmed my precious baby. All tests and scans so far have shown that baby is perfect but I know some problems aren't picked up until later on. I read articles about birth defects and neonatal withdrawal and I feel so ashamed. I have even cried about it a few times.
I have read a ton of forum posts from women who were prescribed and took codeine at much higher doses than I ever took during pregnancy and they delivered healthy babies. This reassures me for about 30 seconds before I read another article about babies born addicted to opiates and the guilt and shame hits once again.
I hope that by stopping now my baby won't be born addicted, but I really don't know. I am so scared and ashamed. I feel like such a crap mother and my baby hasn't even been born yet. I haven't told any medical professional about my codeine use as I'm terrified. I'm terrified I'll be labelled a junkie and my baby taken off me. I'm probably massively overreacting but that's me to a tee.
Can anyone else offer some advice or reassurance? Did anyone else take codeine in early pregnancy? I know I should be ashamed and I truly am.
I am expecting harsh judgement and perhaps I deserve it, but I am so scared I've harmed my baby and am in need of some reassurance/support. This will be long!
I started taking low dose over the counter co-codamol around four years ago to treat migraines/severe headaches. Each tablet contains 8mg of codeine, 500mg of paracetamol (think it's called Tylenol in the US?), and 30mg of caffeine. Initially I only took them as and when I needed, which was every few weeks.
However a few months ago I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks. This was devastating and I became very depressed, and this is when my codeine use increased. Initially it was for pain relief (I had to have a D&C following my miscarriage), but after a week or so I noticed I was taking it even when not in pain. I craved the chilled out feeling they gave me. I guess I was medicating my depression. The amount I took varied but at the worst I was taking 10 tablets a day (so 80mg of codeine a day). I know this isn't a HUGE amount but I recognised I was developing a problem and started cutting down. After a few weeks I was down to 4/5 tablets a day. Aside from rebound headaches which were relieved with paracetamol and some caffeine, I didn't experience any of the horrible withdrawal symptoms I was expecting.
In June I discovered I was pregnant again. Mindful of my previous loss and more determined than ever to stop taking codeine, I cut down even further and took 2/3 tablets a day. Although I must admit that there were a few days where I was incapacitated with migraine pain and had to take up to 4/5 tablets.
I'm now 16 weeks pregnant and haven't taken any codeine in 48 hours. This may seem like a small step but for someone who was taking up to 10 tablets a day for weeks on end this feels like a big achievement. I actually feel totally fine. I've had a few pretty gnarly rebound headaches but paracetamol, some caffeine, and a lay down in a dark room usually relieves them or at least takes the edge off. Aside from the headaches I haven't had any withdrawal symptoms.
I'm glad I've stopped taking co-codamol but am utterly terrified and ashamed that I may have already harmed my precious baby. All tests and scans so far have shown that baby is perfect but I know some problems aren't picked up until later on. I read articles about birth defects and neonatal withdrawal and I feel so ashamed. I have even cried about it a few times.
I have read a ton of forum posts from women who were prescribed and took codeine at much higher doses than I ever took during pregnancy and they delivered healthy babies. This reassures me for about 30 seconds before I read another article about babies born addicted to opiates and the guilt and shame hits once again.
I hope that by stopping now my baby won't be born addicted, but I really don't know. I am so scared and ashamed. I feel like such a crap mother and my baby hasn't even been born yet.
I haven't told any medical professional about my codeine use as I'm terrified. I'm terrified I'll be labelled a junkie and my baby taken off me. I'm probably massively overreacting but that's me to a tee. Can anyone else offer some advice or reassurance? Did anyone else take codeine in early pregnancy? I know I should be ashamed and I truly am.
