Pregnant, Single and Alone - very far from Home

[blamesydney]

FOB's friend accidently ran over his foot friday night so by saturday morning he was going to ER. To both of our surprises he was admitted - possible surgery. The doctors, thank goodness decided against surgery but he had to stay in hospital until today. I offered all weekend to bring him food or anything he needed and yesterday he asked me to bring food which I did. I didn't want to overstay my welcome and tried to leave after a few hours of hanging with him but he kept giving me a guilt trip that I was leaving him or abandoning him. I love babying people when they are sick or hurt so I had no problem taking care of him and making sure hospital staff was caring for him properly. Even made sure he got a proper shower, his meds on time etc. Because of him not wanting me to leave I ended up staying at hospital from 4pm sunday to 1:30am monday morning. It was to the point where the nurse asked if I wanted blanket and pillow to sleep over. FOB kinda got upset when I opted to leave. I have work at 8:30am and hospital is about 15 mins further away from my job plus I had no clothes or toiletries. I still felt guilty leaving him. Plus he was super affectionate wanting to hold my hand or hug and snuggle against me. Maybe it was the drugs he was on??? rofl
We might not have the most ideal situation considering we were FWB at best when I became pregnant but we were working toward a relationship before the :BFP: and then it kinda got derailed. But spending all day/night with him yesterday made me see the guy I have feelings for again. I'm confused.

Call me crazy but lately I have noticed any time he gets Bad News or Good News he immediately calls me or texts me to tell me what is going on and share the news. I personally only do this with close friend and family and then the person I am currently with. I just feel like maybe he wants more from me again. But doesn't have the courage to ask. IDK Grasping at straws?? probably. lol Pregnancy hormones giving me a false sense of something? probably! lol
All I know is a lot of feeling resurged in me last night. I guess because sex doesn't cause me to get feelings and yesterday was the first time in a long time we hung out with no sex. We had so much fun joking and laughing and like I said I love taking care of someone. He even called me "babygirl" several times. It's been since before I got pregnant since He called me that. I love when he calls me that makes me melt. Mostly because I'm 32 and he is 27 hahaah so I like that he is younger calling me babygirl ROFL!

At this point, seeing as you're pregnant and all of that, I would just sit down with him and talk about what we are and if there is any future for us at all, just to clear the air. Have you been keeping him updated with doctor visits and things? Does he seem interested at all in the pregnancy?

 

[Angeltk42]

Yeah since our last big talk he asked to be kept updated with doc appointments and stuff (haven't had one in a few weeks) I have one next mo day. But when we talk about baby it's lighthearted and stuff we joke around. He doesn't ask about the baby at all but doesn't make it awkward if I bring it up. So I'll take that! Hahaha
I know I should ask him where we stand I guess I'm scared of the rejection! I just can't read him he is so confusing! If I had a clue what he was thinking then maybe I wouldn't be so scared to ask. Time will tell!
Thanks for your advice and if I grow some balls I'm sure I will ask him

 

[Angeltk42]

Ok still haven't gotten up the courage to tell him how I feel yet. But the weirdest thing happened last night. first he actually asked a baby related question... "are you taking your vitamins babygirl?" which is amazing that he even asked at all. So i give him a big
But that wasn't the weird thing. We were texting... which we usually do and he called me out of nowhere. We spoke for 2 hours candidly about a lot of stuff. Made me think of the days when we first met. Then our call dropped suddenly but he called back immediately, I thought to say goodnight since it was getting late. But we spoke for another 30 mins and then he was like "if I start snoring, i'm sorry!" But didn't want to get off the phone. So we both ended up falling asleep on phone waking up on occassion with phone in ear and saying some random stuff to each other and then falling back to sleep. We stayed like this till after 5am. I got up at 5am to go to the bathroom and saw we were still on the phone. But at 6am when I woke up again I saw we had disconnected. CRAZY! It's like he didn't want to get off the phone with me. I kept saying at first "if you are sleepyhead, i'll let you go" he was like no not yet.
I"M SOOOOO Confused!! it's so out of character for him.

 

[Angeltk42]

Day 2 of surprises... he asked me to come over last night to hang out. I have only been to his house twice before (he lives with parents) but he made a room for himself out in the garage for now. So now he is separate from the house. Which is better. So I didn't intend to stay late just till maybe 2:30AM (i'm a night owl and took a late nap after work) but somehow it was 3:30am and it was just assumed I was sleeping over. So even though I had to wake up at like 6:45 to go home change and get to work I still did it! It was a great night we hung out, joked around, cuddled, and slept. I slept only 3.5 hours but it felt like 8 with him cuddled up around me. I'm not usually a cuddler when I'm sleeping I'm the kind of person who just cuddles for a little bit before bed then once i'm ready to pass out I turn away and go to my corner hahaha. But all night I was wrapped up with his arms around me and I didn't squirm away.

I guess i'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to start acting weird again. Hopefully not this is definitely the guy I met and started to fall for a few months ago. This is definitely the guy that I had such high hopes to start a relationship with. But the pregnancy blind sided him. I think he is finally coming around but we shall see. I'm going to ask him to go to the anatomy/gender scan in a month + that will really be a good indication if he has come around or not. Hurry up scan! lol

 

[blamesydney]

Day 2 of surprises... he asked me to come over last night to hang out. I have only been to his house twice before (he lives with parents) but he made a room for himself out in the garage for now. So now he is separate from the house. Which is better. So I didn't intend to stay late just till maybe 2:30AM (i'm a night owl and took a late nap after work) but somehow it was 3:30am and it was just assumed I was sleeping over. So even though I had to wake up at like 6:45 to go home change and get to work I still did it! It was a great night we hung out, joked around, cuddled, and slept. I slept only 3.5 hours but it felt like 8 with him cuddled up around me. I'm not usually a cuddler when I'm sleeping I'm the kind of person who just cuddles for a little bit before bed then once i'm ready to pass out I turn away and go to my corner hahaha. But all night I was wrapped up with his arms around me and I didn't squirm away.

I guess i'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to start acting weird again. Hopefully not this is definitely the guy I met and started to fall for a few months ago. This is definitely the guy that I had such high hopes to start a relationship with. But the pregnancy blind sided him. I think he is finally coming around but we shall see. I'm going to ask him to go to the anatomy/gender scan in a month + that will really be a good indication if he has come around or not. Hurry up scan! lol

I can't wait to see if he comes! I really hope he has changed.

 

[Angeltk42]

I'll be sure to continue to update with all details hahaha bc having unbiased opinions definitely helps me have a reality check! !

 

[Angeltk42]

I have spent every night at FOB's house since last Thursday. The only days I didn't sleep over were Friday and saturday night because it was his weekend with his 3 boys and they were sleeping over. I did however go there to hang out both days just didn't sleep over. Things are so good between us ::::knocks on wood::: he asks about baby now. Asked about doctor appointment on monday which I went to from his house in the AM. He was still sleeping. We don't every night which is good because then it doesn't feel like a nightly booty call. We just hang out, then cuddle up and go to sleep. Every few days we DTD. lol I feel like we are in a relationship without officially being in a relationship lol. He texts me all day when we are apart and then I go over his house and spend the night.

Last night as we were laying in bed about to fall asleep he says I'm pissed this year sucks. I said what do you mean? you met me this year has been awesome for you! lol But he was talking about his pending DWI charge and his foot being run over and not working much. I knew what he meant and told him to focus on the positives not the negatives!

I'm gonna let things just continue as they are without bringing up any big conversations which will put pressure to define anything because I don't want to push him. It's pretty clear with how he acts that he likes me and possibly wants to be with me. He is just coming around on his own time schedule and any push from me might push him away. He is a guy after all! lol

 

[blamesydney]

anything new?

 

[Angeltk42]

We have spent every night together for 2 weeks except tonight... I feel weird not being at his house in bed with him... we had a long talk he told me has feelings for me but he needs to get his life in order before he can even think about committing to me. He revealed a very horrible childhood trauma that apparently is effecting his adult life (justifiably so) and so I have just been trying to support him. So idk what's gonna happen Btwn us and we are taking it day by day. I am just having a bad week in general me being overly sensitive so I feel like crap tonight bc I am not with him. I guess I just need constant reassurance because right now everything is all crazy! He did say that he will do anything for the baby within his power even if he isn't able to do too much he will do what he can. This is his baby and he wants to be there for him/her. That was good to hear. He said that although I never pressured him he felt pressure at first because he was the only person I knew in Texas and he felt so bad that he wasn't able to be more of a comfort. Heading Ina positive direction. Hopefully my pregnancy crazy wont scare him off lol

 

[blamesydney]

Oh my I'm so glad things are going well. ^_^ just remember, you're pregnant! Despite how he feels, he should be supporting you, not the other way around!

 

[Angeltk42]

Oh my I'm so glad things are going well. ^_^ just remember, you're pregnant! Despite how he feels, he should be supporting you, not the other way around!

Yeah but I think any good relationship you need to support each other. He has been supportive and it took a lot for him to reveal his trauma. I'm glad he did. I feel closer with him since he told me. It also explains A LOT!

Thanks for your support! It is much appreciated to have someone to talk to about this who is a objective opinion.

 

[Angeltk42]

From my last post until about a week ago I spent almost every day at FOB's house. Things in my mind were going good. His parents and sons loved me and he even let me watch his kids while he worked and the boys although little demons; very cure adorable demons though! hahaha They were a lot of fun. Always hugging and kissing me telling me how much they loved me.

Everything was great except his best friend.. This guy was living at FOB's house because him and his wife broke up and he was just constantly nagging me and annoying me. Well one night he pushed my buttons so bad that I left in the middle of the night. At first I was joking about leaving but then I got so annoyed I just actually left. FOB apologized for upsetting me. The next day happened to be my Gender/anatomy scan. FOB did not attend! To make matters worse he never texted me all day. Which was so unlike him!!! We usually texted from late morning/early afternoon but yet it was 7pm and I still hadn't heard from him. I finally texted him and I was so annoyed an angry that I was being a bitch. Fob stopped by that night for 15 mins to say hi (he was in the neighborhood) but it still didn't stop me from being annoyed.

Then the day after the scan he again didn't text me and I was getting annoyed again. I wrote on FB "Pet Peeve when you help someone and then your help isn't needed then they decide to blow you off!" well a few hours after I posted that FOB was asking if that was directed at me. I was like well if you think it's about you then you must realize you are doing something wrong... so if the shoe fits feel free to wear it!!! he said he didn't think he was blowing me off and that I was being overly dramatic because he didn't text me 24/7... said he wasn't married to me and i was acting like we needed to be in constant contact. I said NOOOO I don't think we need to be in constant contact but when I don't hear from you on one of the most important days (which he knew because I was literally counting down the days till the scan for over a 2 weeks). I said this wasn't some random tuesday this was a big day for me (us).

Well then he ignored me and later that night I called him out and he was saying that he was pissed because i'm ALL drama and he hates drama and "you need to realize I don't want anything serious!" It took all my willpower not to go ape shit. I was like how are you turning this into a relationship issue when it has nothing to do with us!!!! This is about common decency for a friend at the very least. I had an important day and you decided to blow me off. Which happened to coincide with him getting paid whereas for the last 2 months since he broke his foot I've been helping him out with food and such when needed. If not for me he wouldn't have been able to survive. I did what I can which wasn't much but it hurt when he got paid and just blew me off like i was an inconvenience! He was pissed that i was insinuating he was "using" me but those were his words. I said " I HELPED you (my choice) but the second you didn't need my help you didnt have time for me anymore!"

i'm sorry but i'm 5 months pregnant my emotions are running high and I'm WAYYYYYYY more sensitive to things. I'm already a sensitive person sometimes (usually PMS time lol) but add raging hormones from a growing baby and damn I don't know what to believe! hahaha

He ended up confessing that he was really upset because his kids moved with their mom (which I knew) to over an hour away. Now I knew they moved but I didn't know how upset he was by it. But in all fairness to me an hour drive every other weekend isn't really a big deal. IMO but i'm also driving a hybrid car and drive EVERYWHERE!!! I used to have a bf who lived 3 hours away and one that was 6 hours away and I would drive to them all the time. (separate time frame!! LOL) So an hour is really nothing in my mind. Well then I realized it was all a misunderstanding HOWEVER that does not change the fact that he was EXTREMELY mean to me with words. Or that he was still blowing me off even days AFTER we made up.!!!

Wouldn't you know that not until he ran out of money from his check and didn't get his new check did he ask to hang with me!! smh. I don't know if they were truly related he also might have just wanted sex lol. Which is fine by me. LOL i have never been mad if a guy used me for sex hahaa!! But that is another story because in my mind i'm using them for sex too! hahaha.

A friend of mine on Bnb suggested that perhaps he is freaking out (and taking it out on me) because we are having a little girl and it's scaring him!! he has 3 boys and maybe the idea of a girl is the unknown factor?? It's quite possible! He is acting VERY similar to the way he acted when I first told him I was pregnant.

I'll let you know of any progress. But this has been what is going on for now!

 

[Sweetkat]

Stumbled across your thread. Keeping everything crossed for you and really hope things work out for you and that fob comes round. When he said I don't want anything serious was he talking re your relationship? Hope he didn't mean it!!

 

[Angeltk42]

Stumbled across your thread. Keeping everything crossed for you and really hope things work out for you and that fob comes round. When he said I don't want anything serious was he talking re your relationship? Hope he didn't mean it!!

Yea he was talking about our relationship but has since pretended that he never said it... Things are slightly different Btwn us again so just taking it day by day.

 

[Sweetkat]

Stumbled across your thread. Keeping everything crossed for you and really hope things work out for you and that fob comes round. When he said I don't want anything serious was he talking re your relationship? Hope he didn't mean it!!

Yea he was talking about our relationship but has since pretended that he never said it... Things are slightly different Btwn us again so just taking it day by day.

It may be just him being scared to commit officially. Men are like that . He has said he has feelings for you which to me sounds like he definitely definitely wants something . Otherwise he would never have admitted to having feelings. Although I don't quite get why he didn't come to the ultrasound to see baby. Men are just so annoying!!

 

[Angeltk42]

Yeah idk he is being a flake... I wish I could just "forget" him but since I am alone in Texas it is hard! Trying to take it day by day.

 

[Sweetkat]

He is seeing a lot of you though and making quite a bit of effort, so this whole relationship must mean something to him

 

[Angeltk42]

Correction - He was seeing a lot of me. Now we hardly see each other the last few weeks. I was a very nice pregnant NON GIRLFRIEND the other night and drove 2 hours round trip to an oil rig he was on to give him drinks/cigs because his partner on the job decided to get drunk while driving/working and FOB didn't feel right letting him work while drinking so took over the entire job. VERY dangerous to have impaired senses with their type of job and FOB has a reputation to maintain. Because he was going to do the entire job alone he didn't bring enough to drink/smoke.

Before that I saw him on monday night/tuesday morning. It's been limited lately. We used to talk everyday now he waits all day to contact me (we usually talk everyday but it's just not the same) I know i'm probably reading too much into it. His entire schedule is completely different from starting work again. He is on call 24/7 and when he goes for jobs lately they are no shorter than 24 hours so his sleep schedule is messed up. I just hate not knowing what is going on and feeling like he is distancing himself. Probably my crazy pregnancy hormones. UGH

 

[Sweetkat]

Is it his first job in a while? He probably feels under pressure with 3 kids and a 4th on the way and wants to make sure that the job goes well. I wouldn't read too much into the fact that he has not seen quite so much of you. I thought it sounded really promising when you two were spending all that time together and am keeping everything very very crossed for you!

 

[Angeltk42]

Is it his first job in a while? He probably feels under pressure with 3 kids and a 4th on the way and wants to make sure that the job goes well. I wouldn't read too much into the fact that he has not seen quite so much of you. I thought it sounded really promising when you two were spending all that time together and am keeping everything very very crossed for you!

Yeah we were spending a lot of time together now it's the opposite I'm very clingy while Preggo and feel like I need to be around him but I can't force him. We shall see trying to keep my head straight so I don't go pregnancy crazy lady on him hahaha! He got some bad news last night and was upset it could effect his Job so now he is uber stressed so trying to give him space! I know he is feeling pressures even if I'm not technically pressuring him bc a 4th unexpected child is a lot to take in.