pregnant with #2....anyone else feel like this?

[Teeny]

right so, I love my dd more then I could ever explain, she is the love of my life and I cannot wait to have that amount of love again! twice as much! it's exciting!

but.....

there is part of me that feels really sad too. I found the newborn phase really hard and made worse by a colicky reflux baby. I breastfed too, still do, and I know that it's what I want to do again, but it's so tethering. even after it gets easy, any time away involves pumping, storing, making sure lo will take bottles, etc.

so now my lo is playing more independently, sleeping well, we go to the gym which means socializing in the crèche and some me time for me! I've just started to feel like the old me, an altered version, but me all the same!

I'm just scared of getting sucked back into the new baby stuff, and this time with a toddler and all that goes with it! I'm sad about going back to a sleep deprived state where I feel buried in the needs of others in my family.

does anyone else feel like this or understand this?

 

[mommysurpriss]

sort of! my oldest is 15, twins are 10 and I have a toddler.
so needless to say I have spaced my kids pretty far apart.
My toddler is now 2.5 and I unexpectedly found myself pregnant again. I am overwhelmed. I homeschool. My husband is going to go back to sea duty soon and here I am about to have another baby with an active toddler! Between homeschool, homeschool gymnastics, daily field trips, daily playdates, piano, soccer, flag football, guitar lessons, co op groups
HOW THE HECK??

But I assure you, you will figure it out. It is just daunting to think about

 

[Berri]

Yep I hear you!!! I remember some days after DS had been up nearly all night I was certain I wouldn't function on 2 hours sleep (or less!) or when I had nipple thrush that caused me to grit my teeth and lift my feet off the floor in pain each and every time I breastfeed for about 3wks and how I wanted to give up.... but somehow I got through that and all that followed. Just like you did

I think one of the great things about having a newborn is that you are forced into "the now". While you are living it you don't have time to think about how tough it is or how you are getting through it, you just realise one day that you made it!

Of course having a toddler is going to increase the challenges but we will find new ways to cope and eventually new "me's" will emerge. You forget most of the bad parts but the good stays with you forever

 

[CKJ]

Yup!! Newborn days were worst of my life!! Terrified! But hoping this time at least ill know it will pass! N ul b more focused on toddler n thus less obsessed with relentless crying!!

 

[little moomin]

Partly. My son didn't sleep through until he was gone two, and when i say sleep through i mean went down to getting up twice a night but going back to sleep fairly easily (normally in our bed) but that was good enough for me!
He is now 3y 4m and we walk places, choose what to do together, no pram, no planning appropriate snacks and carrying a giant bag with nappies food etc no planning around life saving napp etc life is VERY easy at the moment, i work, study, get enough rest
However the thought that my child wouldn't have a sibling didn't sit right, and i remember those wonderful things. First smile first meal getting to know my child quiet nighttime feeds learning to crawl sit walk talk just being amazingly cute, and i think aw the baby days really do go so quickly. I am worried about those first awful months, but i know now they pass and make way for amazing vigor my overall feeling is excitement and gratitude x

 

[EarthMama]

The sleep deprivation was extreme and I fear having another baby who doesn't like to sleep much. I also am leery of the roller-coaster of learning how to balance the needs of two demanding children, especially because my toddler is my whole world right now. It's hard to imagine how this will work while still making time to care for myself. I imagine we'll all find our way though!

 

[SazzleR]

I know exactly where you're coming from. The first 3 months of DS's life, I did not enjoy at all. I went from my totally ordered, organised, working life to being at home with a little person who didn't sleep & it was chaos! I felt lost & totally overwhelmed. I feel like I wished away the complete first year of his life because I just wanted things to get easier. He's almost 2.5 now & you know what, it hadn't got easier, it's just harder in a different way! I suppose I'm thankful that he's still not a good sleeper so at least I'm used to getting up multiple times a night & I've survived!

I completely understand what you mean about just getting yourself back. This past year, I've got right back into the gym & now thanks to MS, that's out of the window at the minute & I feel sad that I'm losing myself again.

But on the other hand, I'm looking forward to a newborn again. I certainly didn't make the most of having an immobile baby who I could pacify with a boob!!! Once DS starts pre-school next Sept, I'll be having coffee & lunch dates galore! I've missed those as they just don't work with a boisterous toddler. And this time round, I know that things get better & the constant round of feeding, changing & sleeping doesn't last forever. We'll be ok!

 

[Happy happy]

I have mixed emotions as my DD was also a 'challenging' newborn with Colic, blocked tear duct and very clingy, that combined with mastitis and being quite poorly after needing surgery wasn't fun at all.
Buttt....now I know what to expect I'm quite excited as I know how to deal with most situations and my DH has established his business so can hopefully take time off this time to take some of the pressure off me
I also know not to keep picking baby up every time he/she makes a noise and to not mess with babies routine once its established .... I'm sooooo excited!!!xoxo

 

[stouffer]

Yes I totally know what you mean. I'm really excited about having another baby but the prospect of having a newborn, a toddler and a business to run is daunting.

I also worry that each child won't get the attention they need. My daughter had my full attention for the last 2 years and this baby won't have that and my daughter will have to share us with the new baby. It will be good for them to have each other though.

And I really get what you mean about getting back to yourself. I feel like I've only recently got back to normal with finding time for hobbies and going out with friends. I feel like it will take me a while to get back to this point.

But I think having done the newborn thing before it won't be such a learning curve and it won't be so overwhelming now I have experienced it before and know what I'm doing. This time I won't give myself such a hard time trying to be the perfect mother!

 

[baby25102011]

I am DREADING the lack of sleep - I struggle with my 2yo now gettin up at 620.
I can't imagine gettin up at 620 after bein up through the night too gaah!

 

[AC1987]

YES!! I finally feel like I've gotten to a point where I feel myself! And now its like ohhh what have I done!? I mean I LOVE the idea of having a baby and all, but then sometimes I'm really remembering the no sleep and it scares me as I don't know how I'm going to manage

 

[stouffer]

Is anyone worried about the practicalities?

I'll have a 2.5 year age gap between mine. My daughter can walk about a mile before she gets tired. I don't want to buy a double buggy since she'll soon be old enough to not need one but I don't know how I'll manage walking anywhere with her and a pram.

 

[Flower15]

I feel like this mainly in the evening. LO is in such a good routine, she TELLS us at 7pm that she wants 'bed', 'warm milk' and 'blanket', so by 7.30pm, bedtime routines complete and I have all night to myself, which is very much needed after chasing her round all day, so Il definately miss the me time in the evenings and night. We dont hear from her (most nights) til 7am next morning!

But lets try and remember that they are not babies for long. The baby stage passes so quickly. Im just going to try and make the most and enjoy it all, you soon start wishing they were younger again!! x

 

[Flower15]

Is anyone worried about the practicalities?

I'll have a 2.5 year age gap between mine. My daughter can walk about a mile before she gets tired. I don't want to buy a double buggy since she'll soon be old enough to not need one but I don't know how I'll manage walking anywhere with her and a pram.

Im in a similar position, im thinking in investing in a sling, so if i take the pram out and my toddler wants a nap, the newborn can go in the sling and sleep in there and DD can use the pram. Also going to invest in a buggy board if DDs legs start aching! x

 

[Starry Night]

I'm a little concerned too. My son was a fairly easy newborn and slept through the night (8 hours straight) by 6 weeks. So I was incredibly spoiled. I'm now afraid that if I get a typical, or even, a difficult newborn I won't know how to cope. And as easy a newborn as my son was, he is a very high energy toddler. He knows how to play on his own but playing on his own usually involves getting into things or trying to break everything. lol I think he will love having a baby around but his over enthusiasm to help could be a problem. ha ha

As for practicalities, I'm hoping my MiL will make me a sling so I can wear the baby and push DS in the stroller. (My MiL had offered to make me one for the last pregnancy) Or, I will have to get one of those harness/leashes for my son. He is always running off! (I was like that as a toddler too, apparently)

 

[stouffer]

Baby carrier is a great idea and I think I'll be able to borrow a buggy board.

LO was too heavy for me to carry far by the time she was about 4 months and she was an average sized baby. I'm such a wuss

 

[Dani_87]

Yea I hear ya...My DS didn't start sleeping through the night until about 10.5mo old, and still every once and a while gets up randomly for one reason or the other. Between the thought of being sleep deprived with the new LO, caring for the newborn, breastfeeing, cleaning, cooking and just still trying to give DS the attention he needs...I'm freaking out! lol

 

[Happy happy]

Is anyone worried about the practicalities?

I'll have a 2.5 year age gap between mine. My daughter can walk about a mile before she gets tired. I don't want to buy a double buggy since she'll soon be old enough to not need one but I don't know how I'll manage walking anywhere with her and a pram.

my DD will just be 2 when our baby is due, I've bought a carrier so if we go on longer walks she can go in the pushchair and I can carry baby...this will also help with losing some baby weight hopefully!!