Pregnant with third child- terrified 😕

[Babyfairy1984]

Hi 🌸

I have just found out that I'm expecting baby number 3 after a failed morning after pill.
I'm only 4 weeks along and absolutely terrified as I find just having 2 exhausting and difficult, as well as not being in the best financial position at the moment.
Anyone else feeling like this?
I'm just not sure I will be able to handle it and feeling really confused as I love our life as it is now and this is such a big surprise.

- My 2 children are 5 and 2.

 

[charliekitty]

Sorry your feeling this way
Just wanted to say my 3rd baby was the easiest, I know everyone is different but he just fitted in so nicely, he had no choice but to fit in with the other kids routines!
When my 3rd was born my others were 2 and nearly 4
Big hugs x

 

[Jcliff]

I am pregnant with #3. Not planed. Surprised after the pull out method failed!(kids listen to your health teachers!) I was so scared and cried all day when I found out. Timing was terrible. I just started a new job, my other kids are still so young (4 and 2), financially it was not looking good. However my husband was SO supportive. Telling me it was a blessing and we will figure it out. So now we have gotten over the shock phase and now we are excited. Our two children could not be more excited!! So give it time. But if in a few months you still feel this way, then maybe consider adoption. Someone out there may be looking for a miracle like you.

 

[BabyBrain80]

This will be my 3rd baby too. I have 2 boys 6 & 3 yrs.

We did plan this one.....kinda.....I was back and forth for months then as it wasn't happening I decided to maybe forget it then bang! Pregnant!

I'm terrified too. How am I going to cope, where will we put it? Do we need a new car? I've thrown out or given away all the baby stuff what if it comes out as quickly as ds2? What if.....what if....what if....
I drive myself mad and feel stressed and panicky.

I have a few friends who have 3 or 4 kids and they say similar to the above...the new one just fits in. That's what I'm hoping! Lol

Take one day at a time, don't stress yourself out. You are strong, you've done it before and I'm sure no matter what, you will do a great job.

For me personally , I know it's going to be 2 or 3 years of absolute chaos. But I feel it will be worth it later on and I'd always regret not trying for a bigger family.

Don't panic just yet. Good luck xxx

 

[Missbb2591]

This pregnancy wasn't planned, it was a failed pill pregnancy and initially I really struggled to cope with the idea of having another baby (my 4th) and with how ill it has made me feel, I've had hyperemesis and a hospital admission. I was worried how my girls would take it as they are having another sibling from their dad and his gf next month and they were upset about that. However they took it amazingly and are so excited and gradually I'm getting excited too, my partner is so supportive and so excited that I can't help but be excited too. The scan I had yesterday really helped too and made all the sickness and exhaustion worth it.
Hang on in there

 

[misspriss]

I am pregnant with my 3rd, unplanned as well. I found the emotional experience was quite different than my first two, who were planned. They are now 4 and 2. We were not at a good place financially or any other way.

That said, you have 9 months to get things in order. We are in a better place financially, we managed to afford a bigger car and get in a more solid living situation.

I did struggle with depression in the first part of this pregnancy, it was tough but I've gotten past it. I also felt terrified of the changes while I was suffering from depression. Definitely be up front and honest with your doctor/midwife when you start seeing them. I found going to therapy very helpful as well. I'm now 34 weeks and quite excited about our new baby.

 

[xdxxtx]

Oh, no. My third wasn't planned, either. Neither was my second, but my second baby was only 2m old when I got pregnant with our third, and I was on the pill. I planned my fourth baby after that one, so clearly, three wasn't bad. My current pregnancy (#5, if you've lost count here... sigh...) was a BIG surprise, and I was devastated. I just sat on my bed and cried, and my OH just hugged me.... Well, now, I'm thrilled to welcome her. I am exhausted with four (ages 5, 4, 3, 15months), but at this point, what's one more???

It will be just fine, though. I promise. Having three is amazing!

 

[Sarahcake]

I'm in this position but I'm pregnant with my second so you ladies are already doing what I'm terrified of!

5 years old starting school, new job to start and now pregnant and all I can think is how the hell am I going to cope with 2!!!

 

[Babyfairy1984]

I'm in this position but I'm pregnant with my second so you ladies are already doing what I'm terrified of!

5 years old starting school, new job to start and now pregnant and all I can think is how the hell am I going to cope with 2!!!

You will be fine- 2 is so lovely 😍

 

[Sarahcake]

thank you. It's just a lot to take in. My son is independent with everything pretty much, ready to start his school journey, and then I'll be back to square one with nappies and bottles and argh!!

I'll manage, I know I will, but it's scary haha!

 

[Babyfairy1984]

Thank you so much everyone.
Feeling much better after reading your messages and a bit more positive.
I am so surprised I have reacted like this- hormones perhaps!
Keep the lovely messages coming 😬🤗 xxx

 

[plutosblue]

We planned our third and I fell back in March, even though it was planned I was really surprised how frightened/negative/torn I felt about it as my two are now older (5,3). We had been trying for a while and we weren't sure about DH fertility after an op so I just never thought it would actually happen! Sadly it ended in an early mc but it made me really realise that it was something we wanted. Happily I am now pregnant again and still have wobbles but do definitely know this is right for us and it will be OK x Everyone I know with 3 has said the jump from 2 is a doddle and they just slot right in. I think if you take the material problems/fear away it makes you realise what's important and that you can do it.

 

[DaisyQ]

I'm also pregnant with #3. Wasn't exactly planned but we weren't being careful either. After a surprise bfp and then early loss in March, it made me realize I do want a third, but I have a lot of anxiety about it as well. Financially, the strain it will likely put on my marriage, the sleep deprivation, caring for all three when I can barely cope with the two I've got. Meanwhile, my husband is totally freaking out about it and so he's not being very reassuring. This will be his 5th. It's a lot of financial pressure and he's 47 and not getting any younger. We're also worried how the kids will react, especially my step daughters, one of whom has gotten very upset each time we've had a child. Gah. Makes my head spin. Having a hard time sleeping.

 

[vaniilla]

Expecting our third too, although he was planned I still have moments where I think how on earth will I cope!!??! but everything I've heard is positive, everyone says 2-3 is the nicest transition and much easier than 1 - 2.

 

[Zephram]

I'm pregnant with our third too!

We had planned to have a third, but we weren't even going to start trying until next year, so this happened unexpectedly out of the blue and we were both in shock! We're looking forward to it now, but I had just started a new job too, this year, which is why we planned to wait until next year. But all things happen for a reason, so we're going with it.

I found 1-2 really hard and I'm really hoping baby #3 slots in like everyone says as I'll probably lose my mind if it's as hard as 1-2!!

 

[Babyfairy1984]

I'm pregnant with our third too!

We had planned to have a third, but we weren't even going to start trying until next year, so this happened unexpectedly out of the blue and we were both in shock! We're looking forward to it now, but I had just started a new job too, this year, which is why we planned to wait until next year. But all things happen for a reason, so we're going with it.

I found 1-2 really hard and I'm really hoping baby #3 slots in like everyone says as I'll probably lose my mind if it's as hard as 1-2!!

Congratulations!
Oh my goodness I found 1-2 so hard too! I really hope 2-3 is easier.
My second is a bit of a wild one so I'm hoping number 3 is calm like my first! Xx

 

[WackyMumof2]

I was working when I was pregnant with DS1 but a lot of bleeding at 14 weeks ended that for the safety of him so I turned to study instead. DS2 happened while studying full-time and while we knew it would be hard financially, we felt it important he had someone to grow up with. I was working part-time and studying full-time with DS3 (RSI meant I had to reconsider my career and start from scratch) but he was a oopsie baby. I was working non-stop over Christmas and New Year covering everyone else's shifts that we think I missed a Pill here and there. Took me a LONG time to come to terms with it but got there in the end and wouldn't have it any other way. Everything I got from scratch but it was worth it. Still studying full-time and working part-time but we wanted to not only try for a little girl but for DS3 to have a sibling close in age because there is 6 years between DS2 and DS3. Again, it will be hard and we know that BUT at the end of the day I am walking into a career as I will continue my study while pregnant until baby is about 6 months. The bonus of that is that this baby is my LAST baby but it means I can focus on a career and enjoy it rather than take time out to have a family. My mother did it so I know I can!!!

It will take time to sink in and you will get ready in time especially if you have family around to help. For me, hubby was busy worrying about clearing certain bills while I was pregnant so getting ready for DS3 fell soley on me. That's not something I tell a lot of people because people get so negative about it but him sorting out his bills was more important so they were gone by Delivery Day. He wasn't happy about it but dealt with it. No one else helped (hubby pitched in about $200 in total because I caved) but if I can do it, you can too.

 

[WackyMumof2]

I'm pregnant with our third too!

We had planned to have a third, but we weren't even going to start trying until next year, so this happened unexpectedly out of the blue and we were both in shock! We're looking forward to it now, but I had just started a new job too, this year, which is why we planned to wait until next year. But all things happen for a reason, so we're going with it.

I found 1-2 really hard and I'm really hoping baby #3 slots in like everyone says as I'll probably lose my mind if it's as hard as 1-2!!

I had this same fear. My boys were 8 and 6 when DS3 arrived and I expected CHAOS. It was with DS2 when he arrived. Lol. But DS3 just fit in around everything else - almost like he was always meant to be here. Going from 2-3 is so much easier than going from 1-2.

 

[chrissylynn]

I can relate, I had no intentions of having anymore children. With my 3rd I had a botched c-section which resulted in a hernia that needed repairing. My doctor said I could have more kids but there was a slight chance of the mesh not holding which would mean hernia surgery again and lemme tell you I would rather have 3 c-sections again over hernia surgery any day.

With my 3rd I also had my 3rd boy and it was very hard on me , I know it may sound selfish but I cried my eyes out for days. I did not want to go threw that again. I got pregnant due to BC failing and I am terrified of this being another boy and the mesh not holding. This pregnancy has been totally opposite of my boys who were all the same so maybe I am getting lucky and this will be my girl