Prem mums perspective

[Anna_due Dec]

i too know exactly what you mean!! my son was 27 weeks but weighed 1.6kg or 3lb 8 so he was big for his gestation and thats all people could see. He spent 10 weeks in hospital, was ventilated for about 3, pda issues, couldn't hold him for the first 3 weeks. It was a freaking nightmare!!! but "oh he was really big" they say as they hold their 7lb + babies like double the size of my little man grrr...rant over I was told that babies vary a lot in their weight but basically develop at the same rate so a 27 weeker (for instance) regardless of size will often all have similar experiences because (eg.) their lungs are not extra developed because they have extra fat.

 

[maisiemoo]

I can understand how they feel because I think if I had gone full term I would probably have moaned about how uncomfortable I was etc...

However now I have had a premmie (34+6) I do get a bit upset about it. I would give anything to be able to turn the clock back and have a healthy baby who was born at 40 weeks.

What annoys me more is when I tell people about Chloe and that she was born early but still weighed 6lb 5oz they say to me, you are really LUCKY having her early otherwise she would have been huge and had a difficult birth. Oh yeah I am so lucky I didn't see my daughter for 15 hours after she was born and couldn't hold her for 2 days. And I am so lucky that I had to leave hospital and go home without her. And my crash section was so lovely and easy.

Idiots.

Sorry rant over

I hate this too. When Olivia reached reached her due date, she weighed 7lbs 10ozs and all people could say was, "aren't you lucky you dudn't have to give birth to a baby that size" or "imagine how much more painful it would have been". Olivia also weighed 4lbs 6ozs at birth and again people will tell me about their full term babies who weighed about the same or not much more and only yesterday after telling a lady that she's small because she's prem, born at 33 weeks, she said "oh that's ok, so not really that premature then". People are just very thoughtless at times.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I am not a premmie mum. But it annoys me when I see ladies WISHING their babies come ealry. Because having seem premmie mums go through it on her SB22 sticks in my mind and Ally and Amy. It just angers me that they want a baby to come early due to selfish reasons. I would rather get the 40 weeks and knwo my baby has the ebst chance. I had SPD and I do remember thinking when will this pregnancy be over. But I never wanted him early. He was a week overdue and even though at the time I was so uncomfortble I was thankful he got here sfaley
xx

 

[Anna_due Dec]

[/QUOTE]

I hate this too. When Olivia reached reached her due date, she weighed 7lbs 10ozs and all people could say was, "aren't you lucky you dudn't have to give birth to a baby that size" or "imagine how much more painful it would have been". .[/QUOTE]


I hate that too!! People always say to me how Tay probably would have been 10lb had he gone full term because of his size and i'm so "lucky" to have avoided it. Personally i'd swap what happened to my beautiful little man for the tearing and stitches any day......not to mention that he was my smallest baby and by far the most painful, so what does that say about the importance of size? He was stuck (back to back) and my waters refused to break and the midwife refused to pop them because they wanted to keep me in labour as they weren't ready for him (country hospital and city retrieval team took their bloody time). For 2 hours they told me while i was in AGONY that he would probably come straight away if they broke my waters but then refused to. It was torture ....not feeling very lucky.

 

[AP]

Taylen was big too huh? and i though alex was heavy for her gestation go taylen! xx

 

[katy1310]

I remember a check out wifey in Morrisons asking all about Sophie and saying "Oh well, at least you're lucky you didn't have to push out a big 9lb baby". Yes - I was very lucky to have a 1lb 13 baby who I had to wait 24 hours to see for the first time, lucky to wait 3 weeks for my first cuddle, 12 weeks of her being in hospital a 120 mile round trip away from us....

I'd much rather have gone through the discomforts of late pregnancy than watch my tiny little daughter fighting in NICU covered in wires

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

xx

 

[AP]

i love how people just dont have a scooby...NOT.

I remember Alexs second or third week in neonatal. My boss came out with a cracker whilst catching up on the phone
"When will you be able to come back?"

WTF???

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

^^ I would have smacked her
xx

 

[AP]

She was lucky she got the boot before i had the chance lol!

 

[katy1310]

i love how people just dont have a scooby...NOT.

I remember Alexs second or third week in neonatal. My boss came out with a cracker whilst catching up on the phone
"When will you be able to come back?"

WTF???

Seriously?! I thought my work were bad in June saying amongst themselves that they were expecting me back in August. They never said it to me but my friend told me they'd been saying that. We only got Sophie home in June for god's sake! Little do they know yet, I'm not going back at all...

 

[AP]

You're not going back then? Yey!!!

I know, I was in that rip off cafe downstairs and i was fuuuuuuming, i'll never forget it

 

[Agiboma]

@ katy... good for you, more time with sophie

 

[Foogirl]

I don't appreciate the 36+5 'oooo I've had a prem but they were absolutely fine and came home straightaway' posts either although I do sometimes feel a bit of a 'fraud' in here iykwim as Findlay was 35+1 weeks whereas all of yours were an awful lot earlier.

Sure Abby was earlier than Findlay, but you've certainly had a much tougher time of it than we have. Thankfully it's not a competition

It's true at 37 weeks that babies should be "fully cooked" but sometimes due to mix up in dates etc, babies are not ready to come out but it doesn't stop women trying everything they can to bring on the labour. They think it doesn't matter after 37 weeks but if the baby was ready it would have come out on its own.

Yeah I get where you are coming from, but sometimes even at 42 weeks they don't come on their own! We still don't know why women go into labour at all, what triggers it etc. It also works the other way. A 36 week baby could be a 38 week baby if dates aren't that accurate.

 

[Anna_due Dec]

true, true

 

[katy1310]

You're not going back then? Yey!!!

I know, I was in that rip off cafe downstairs and i was fuuuuuuming, i'll never forget it

Nope, not going back, going to be a stay at home mummy It was a badly paid job anyway and if we are careful we can get by. I don't want to miss a single moment with Sophie after everything.
T
hey were a horrible place to work for anyway - even when I was going through all that stuff with daily scans etc and knowing Sophie wasn't going to stay inside beyond 30 weeks, when I emailed my line manager to explain everything, they phoned me to make me speak to the directors to "update them about my situation" (bearing in mind there are 9 staff total including 2 directors and they all talk to each other all the time) I had emailed because I was too upset to speak properly about it and then I ended up in tears on the phone to the director. Grrrr. They are horrid!