Pressure from midwife/peers?

[aimee-lou]

Hi girls,

My hubby and I, even while TTC, had said that we wanted to bottle feed. Both of us were and we are fine (well.....just! ) and we both said it would be the best choice for us.

Since being pregnant though I've noticed a huge push for 'breast is best' and with all the struggles we've had so far with pushy parents and unfriendly midwives, I really don't want to be having arguments with nurses etc about how I want to feed baby.

How did you girls who are feeding from birth/soon after birth put this accross to midwives, nurses and pushy mothers?

Thanks - I know it's really early days and while I'm confident on most things, this issue really worries me for some reason.

 

[alio]

i'm not surprised you're concerned. everybody's experience is different but mine wasn't nice..... i am a really strong woman but have to say the postnatal midwives were horrendous at my hospital. they nearly caused me to have a breakdown. i was hoping to breastfeed and did so for 2 weeks but then i stopped and switched. my midwife who visited me at home and my hv were fantastic. i later found that my area had a quota of new mums they needed to get feeding on the breast at my hosp and they were failing miserably (i can see why!).... be strong sweetheart. believe me it's completely brilliant when you're at home and away from all the interfering busybodies!!! you'll be fine darling!!!!

 

[alio]

which area of yorks are you in? i'm in west yorkshire so hopefully you won't have same hosp as me!!!

 

[polo_princess]

I just told anyone who asked straight, think im such a moody cow nobody dared to question it

When people pressure me to do things in life it actuallu makes me run a mile in the opposite direction

 

[aimee-lou]

which area of yorks are you in? i'm in west yorkshire so hopefully you won't have same hosp as me!!!

I'll be going to York I think...we're in east riding technically tho.

 

[pinkmac85]

I tried to BF in the hospital but LO just didn't want anything to do with it and I wasn't comfortable doing it so I told the nurses flat out I wanted to formula feed and didn't want to hear any of the 'breast is best' crap from them as I didn't need to feel pressured to continue to try BF. You just have to stand your ground and speak up

 

[alio]

i agree. go in all guns blazing. i think they jumped on me because i'd shown even a slight interest in booby feeding. witches. xx

 

[alio]

oh york, that's ok .... sure you'll have a good experience. it's good that you're prepared. xxx

 

[Chick21]

Just stand your ground and do what is best for you! i know thats what im going 2 do. my mind is made up!

 

[Vickie]

I actually never said a word. My OB and the nurse just assumed I was going to BF and I never corrected them. There was one nurse in the hospital who asked me (I had it in my birth plan I was going to FF) in the middle of pushing why I wasn't going to BF and a pediatrician who, hours after the birth tried to push BF onto me...other than that though the hospital staff was great! I have had strangers question me out in public, like it's any of their business, and the MIL wasn't thrilled with my choice but it works for me and Hannah.

 

[babystar]

dont let them make you feel pressured...if you do not want to then say to them it is something you and OH has discussed in length and have both agreed that you do not want to do. They cannot make you breast feed. I tried with my 1st. They kept trying to latch her on but she was having none of it. In the end i ended up with blood blisters on my poor nips! And they STILL tried to latch her on. I was young when I had my 1st and I think they kept trying to push it onto me as they thought they knew best as they were older.

 

[Happy]

I got really fed up with the mw going on about BF, it got so bad I changed mw at 30 weeks because I felt she was judging me for FF. After I had given birth the mw changed shifts and i was asked why I hadn't put Phoebe to my breast yet, when I said I was FF she decided to tell me I was feeding a baby not a baby cow!!!

The postnatal mw at the hospital were so evil and made many women on my ward cry. I couldn't get out of there quick enough.

 

[tasha41]

For me.. I was under enormous pressure to breastfeed throughout my pregnancy, was given TONS of literature on it but had already made my decision to formula feed instead. I was offered informative appointments to educate me on the benefits, and basically convince me to do it, the #s of support groups, etc.

Luckily the birth was sort of rough (wow, did I really say that lol) and they sort of left me alone in the hospital to formula feed, my milk didn't really come in properly, as in I never experienced engorgement, and the nurse said it happens to some people and everything was fine.

 

[isil]

you're going to be feeding your baby, they shouldn't care how you're going to do it. If it keeps being pushed on you I'd just stop saying about whether you are going to do it or not and just go ahead and do what you wants when bubs is born.

 

[jenstar]

Well I wanted to bf anyway but there was absolutely no pressure from the community midwives or from the midwives in the hospital. When I arrived in labour they asked me if I wanted baby on the breast after delivery.

I used to hear other women asking should they give a bottle and the midwives just kept saying "it's your decision."

 

[Lottie86]

I plan to FF and the hospital I was due to give birth in is like the breastfeeding mafia from what I've heard and my midwife up there wasn't much better!! I kept getting letters through trying to make me go to breastfeeding workshops, discussion groups and allsorts and when I rang up and politely said no I wouldn't be attending I was made to feel really bad that I plan to FF.

However the hospital and midwives down here are fab and when I was chatting to my midwife yesterday she said they encourage BF but don't try and force you if you want to FF as it's your decision The fact they put no pressure on you at all down here has made me far more relaxed and I might actually go to the breast feeding workshop here just to listen to what they say.

 

[embojet]

I wasn't pressured at all. I think they must have known from how I said it that I wasn't going to change my mind!

 

[ryder]

I didnt get any pressure or info from the nurses...

But got pressured from co-workers while I was preggo and still at work, I got pressure from patients I was caring for, and my mil and sil pressured me.

I tried bfing but I was too stressed and had no help. So I ff... My baby is perfectky healthy and happy... I am too, although there is a small part of me that wishes i'd stuck with it.

 

[aimee-lou]

Thanks so much ladies.....I think we have decided to FF from day one. It's nice to know that we're not totally irregular in wanting to do this. It just gets my back up so much when I read things like 'Breastfeeding is best for your baby, but if you can't breastfeed then bottle is fine'.....like it's only if you're 'incapable' of breastfeeding that the bottle 'will have to do'.

We've just said that we'll be strong.....

 

[jen1604]

I think you just need to be strong with your choices and make it known that youre not going to change your mind.
I did get some pressure from everyone to BF but you just have to be really strong and stick to your decision if you really dont want to do it xx