Pretty devastated tbh.

[RyliesMummy]

Some of you may have read my last thread over feeling a bit down while WTT, well after a long talk with OH he doesn't want any more, (we have a gorgeous daughter who's 1 in 2 weeks) I'm gutted. I've always wanted a big family, not like 5 or 6 kids, more like 3 maybe at a push 4, but he's decided 1 is enough. I'm so upset, especially seen as quite alot of my friends and relatives have had or are expecting babies recently, I don't know how I can be around all these gorgeous babies knowing I won't be holding one of my own again. It seems such a shallow thing to moan over when there are so many people who would do anything for a baby they can't have but I just feel, well to put it bluntly, shit.

 

[welshwarriors]

Oh no hun...maybe he will change his mind in time. Hubby had a phase like that when he said that 1 is enough but he's slowly coming around to the idea that we have 1 more for sure and maybe even 2.

Fingers crossed that something will make him broody and you get your 2nd baby. x

 

[RyliesMummy]

I hope so! I really can't imagine not having anymore kids, it's not like there's any rush. we're only young but I want #2 so bad! Good luck TTC by the way!

 

[4magpies]

I know how you feel hun... I am not even allowed 1 at the moment! *bangs head against wall*

xxx

 

[alex_85]

aww, you must be feeling really upset right now. Your LO is still only very young though, so maybe he is only just starting to recover, hehe. I wouldn't be surprised if he turns around in six months or a year and changes his mind, so don't give up hope just yet

 

[welshwarriors]

I'm pretty sure that he will change his mind at some point. Fingers crossed.

Thanks hun.

 

[RyliesMummy]

I know how you feel hun... I am not even allowed 1 at the moment! *bangs head against wall*

xxx

I feel bad for everyone who wants kids who haven't had them yet or can't because I already have a gorgeous daughter, and she's enough for me I love her to bits but I really want a brother or sister for her, we were sortong LO's clothes out the other day and he wanted to give them to a charity shop, when I asked why he said 'because we're not having any more' I thought he was joking but

All I can do is hope & pray he comes round to the idea, thanks for the support girls

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

Awww hun, I can imagine you'd be upset, but I truly think he'll change his mind. He hasn't experienced even an entire year of having a child yet, so maybe once your daughter (beautiful by the way) has grown up a little, he'll miss having a littleun around and warm to the idea again. Believe me, my OH went from "I'm not a fan of kids" to "I cannot wait to have children". He even gets more excited about TTC than me and trust me, I never thought I would say those words, lol.

I think he just needs time. I don't think any of us can truly make "never" comments because our minds and tastes change so much over years and even months sometimes.

 

[RyliesMummy]

Thanks everyone, I'm trying to concentrate on DD and keep my mind off it fingers crossed he'll change his mind otherwise I'll be off to the sperm bank or something
Only joking!

Good luck all of you WTT/TTC

 

[Jomum2b-again]

aww hun i really hope he changes his mind, i'll keep my fingers crossed for you xx

 

[Pilot]

No wonder you feel shit! But maybe he just feels that he has a lot on his plate at the moment and can't imagine another baby at this point. I know people who denied ever wanting children or another child to then all of a sudden change their mind in a second.

Fingers crossed

 

[Shrimpy]

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby has a son from a previous relationship and he said he didn't want any more children. I was devestated as I wanted one more than anything. Here we are 5 years later with 2 beautiful girls and wtc in August. The one piece of advice I would give would be to talk to him. Sit down and explain your feelings in a calm way. Try not to get hysterical or defensive, just talk nicely and give him time to think and say how he feels. This helped us sooo much and gave hubby time to think about things in his own time instead of feeling like he was being nagged at and pressured all the time, which I may have had a tendancy to do *cough*

Best of Luck hun!!

xx

 

[LankyDoodle]

Not shallow at all. We enter into relationships with people who have the same ideas about life and want the same things; when the goalposts are moved then it's a big big deal and if it's something massive like another child then it is actually pretty unfair.

My husband did this when I was pregnant... went from wanting 2 to just 1, and it's pretty heartbreaking when it happens as your life kind of looks a bit different than you thought it would.

I think you need to keep talking to him about this and find some kind of compromise. This kind of thing only ends up leading to resentment in the end.

 

[Catalyst]

Im so sorry hun. But It might be just too soon for him to think about having another baby. 1 year is not a long time, many ppl think after their first that they wont have another because of many reasons but then some years later they are ready again.

But Im sure this is not reasuring you, but have you talked to him why he doesnt want another? Is it just one is enaugh or did he explain it more? Some are afraid they won tbe able to love another child as mutch as the frst one, that things will change to mutch, be too hard and so on.

I think you are allowed to be sad about this. We cant always think about other ppl have it worse than we do.

I will just send you a big internet *hug* hopefully he will change his mind in the future.

 

[RyliesMummy]

thank you all for your support it's lovely of you to give me advice, I'm just going to give him some time to come around and maybe have a good talk about it, I know he didn't want kids until later in life, but our daughter came as a shock but a brilliant surprise, and he's such a good dad, he's a natural, I assumed he would want more at some point. Hopefully when DD's a bit older and our new niece is born he might change his mind! x

 

[pinkclaire]

My hubby goes from I can't wait to have more to the same charity shop comments in a matter of a couple of days. Have you been talking about having another a lot? If I go on about something he's more likely to say nope, never!

I'm sure he will come round to the idea, maybe leave it a few days and talk to him about it calmly again. If he's anything like mine he'll of forgotten he even said that by then!

 

[RyliesMummy]

Our LO has been tempting him I think, she loves other babies, my friend has a 10 day old and our LO was trying to touch him through the computer! she was so excited, smiling and kissing the picture, I said to OH she wants a little brother or sister and he was like well what would she be like? To which I replied how brilliantly behaved she is with our niece. I hope he's thinking about it xD

 

[babesx3]

Men need to think its their idea...
think you're on the right track...let him see how much your LO would get out of a brother or sister... how lovely it is to grow up together how important family is...having someone to play with etc etc!!
my dh was a no no with #3 he came round ... then he was no no about #4... and we are going for it... just takes abit for them to come round to it and imagine what it'll be like... paint some nice pictures for him children playing etc...
good luck!!! XX