problems with cleaner - rant alert

[Cheshirista]

Ok, so tell me if I'm just being an unreasonable pregnant bitch.

My cleaner has been coming for 2.5 years, since just before DS was born. She's a friend of the family. DS adores her and she looks after him sometimes for me as well, while I walk the dogs or go to the shops. She's very nice and a big help and I do appreciate her.

However, she's always done some annoying things. She picks up clothes from everywhere and washes them, not just the laundry basket. If I'm wearing a jumper and take it off for a minute, it's in the wash. She tumble dries everything. She puts stuff away that's still damp. She puts stuff away in the wrong places and I can't find it. She irons everything, even pyjamas and underwear, a complete waste of time IMO. She over-tidies, changing things from how I've put them. I've tried saying things before but it doesn't seem to make any difference, but I'd say them in a light hearted way. I tried telling her not to do laundry, and I'd leave her the ironing to do, I've tried this a few times, but she just carried on doing it anyway. And I didn't make a big deal, because I guess the house always looked nice and having damp clothes in the cupboards wasn't the end of the world.

But now I'm pregnant with no2, and I want my house to be the way I want it. I just feel that way. And it's MY house. So I asked her firmly but politely to leave some stuff where it was. She got really stroppy and then tidied it all away anyway. So I started just doing all the laundry, getting it dried and packed away before she came, hiding my clean clothes and leaving the few bits to be ironed in a basket. This went ok for a few weeks, then last week she kicked off, saying I was trying to do her out of her job and insisting I had been secretly ironing. I didn't appreciate it, but smoothed it over.

Today, I've done most of the laundry so it's dry and separated the ironing. I showed her what I'd done so she could see I wasn't being underhand. I said "everything that needs ironing is in that white basket". And now she's put it all together again and is ironing it.

I feel like tearing my hair out. It's my house, I should be allowed to do my own laundry if I want, how I want, and it's our money that's paying her to iron bloody underpants. I want to get rid of her, because I feel oppressed now, but it would be awkward because she's a family friend and sad for DS because he loves her. But I've started to feel annoyed with her just being here, I dread it.

Am I being out.of order? I've tried hinting, I've tried saying, I've tried finding her other stuff to do and nothing will get her to change.

Sorry for long post, and petty nature of it all. I'm a very angry pregnant lady 😠

 

[shinona]

I agree not huge issues in the grand scheme of things but they'd all annoy me too especially when she's basically ignoring your wishes.

Is there any way you could let her go without saying it's because she's annoying the life out of you. Blame it on tightening your belts with the new arrival coming? Otherwise, you'll have to decide how best to break that part of your relationship without upsetting her or annoying family xx

 

[RaspberryK]

My cleaner literally just cleaned and anything on my list, do you have her for a set amount of time/money? I'd say reduce it to just cover the actual cleaning you want doing.
Xx

 

[purplecupcake]

I'd let her go. It sounds like she is taking advantage of you because you are family friends. She knows putting away damp laundry is not doing a good job, but expects to get paid anyways, and even showed animosity towards you for doing your own laundry. A professional housekeeper would never do these things - she works for YOU.

 

[Cheshirista]

I've been thinking about this this afternoon. Most of the issues are with laundry, I'm quite happy with most of the other stuff she does. I'm going to insist on doing my own laundry and not give her a chance to get to it, and if she doesn't like that she can quit or whatever. I don't think it's unreasonable of me to want to wash my own clothes, even if she has a problem with it.

 

[Monzter79]

I think that's a good plan. You're happy with everything else, and it is hard to find good help- someone you know and trust. I'd work around it if possible. If she gets upset, just tell her you're very particular about your laundry and so far she hasn't met your expectations. I would also employ her to drive it to and from the cleaner's if I didn't feel up to doing it.

 

[maddog37]

I dont think you're being unreasonable. My last cleaning lady did the same thing at the beginning. I said not to wash our clothes, came home after dropping my son off from preschool and getting her some coffee, to find she's washed everything. In one load. On high heat.

My husband's jeans are raw denim and were completely ruined.

I gave her more chances and she kept doing the wash but without my husband's jeans. Clothes were folded damp so I redried and retold them. To this day, I still can't find 2 of my son's school pants.

I was annoyed just like you but felt like everything was being cleaned so I tried to let it go. Over time and because of other things, I felt resentful and like she was trying to hit me up for more money (I ended up giving her $10 extra every time). Once I stopped giving her the extra money, she stopped coming. I was so relieved.

So i think you have a good plan. If it still feels bad to you, you should probably let her go. You will feel so much better.