Problems =(

[MissDee-89]

Since we discovered i was pregnant everythings gone downhill, he stays up late playing computer games everyday till about 5-6am and won't even try looking for a job, he didnt even bother coming to bed last night =(
I wake up about 7am every day, go to bed at 9pmish, we never spend time together, he swears at me all the time, calls me a c**t etc, he's always throwing stuff, so far he's broken a wardrobe, flat screen tv, stereo, and lashed out at the computer monitor which fell on me, and he doesn't care. He grabbed my arm to drag me out the house and i tripped on a wire and he started swearing at me calling me an attention seeker for falling
I think me and LO deserve better, but this is his house, would i be a priority to be re-housed yet due to me not being that far along, and because i'll be leaving on my own accord?
I do believe it is a hostile environment for a child, but it isn't enough to be classed as abuse.
Not sure where i stand.

Thanks for any advice. x

 

[Sarah10]

I think it can be classed as abuse hunni whether its verbal/pushing/breaking things, its all classed as abuse

 

[MissDee-89]

i asked him last night that if someone treated his sister or mum like that is that ok, he replied with obviously not, so i said what about me then, of which he replied well it depends on what my sister or mum done first...

I've NEVER done anything!
NEVER cheated, NEVER flirted, Always given him space but he's just arrogant and lazy, so occasionally i nag but not excessively and that gives him the right so treat me like a mug...

Don't know what to do at all or how to go about it...

 

[BunnyFace]

If he's throwing stuff about and calling you names that's domestic abuse and is not a safe environment for you or a baby! You need to get out of there sweetie, before you get hurt.

 

[MissDee-89]

He didn't intentionally throw anything at me, he generally just throws stuff around the house, only one incident where i was hurt by it.

I don't understand it though, he is a nice person, i know he was like this with his ex and would do it in front of their daughter...Cant help but think i've got myself in a horrible situation.

he's nice, just has a short temper, always thinks im trying to annoy him and never thinks he's wrong. Although he has said he broke most of the stuff to 'punish' himself for being an ass.

 

[BunnyFace]

He didn't intentionally throw anything at me, he generally just throws stuff around the house, only one incident where i was hurt by it.

I don't understand it though, he is a nice person, i know he was like this with his ex and would do it in front of their daughter...Cant help but think i've got myself in a horrible situation.

he's nice, just has a short temper, always thinks im trying to annoy him and never thinks he's wrong. Although he has said he broke most of the stuff to 'punish' himself for being an ass.

Whether he meant to throw it at you or not, it COULD have hit you, or what if LO got hurt? He doesnt sound like a safe person to be around. Have you got anyone else you can stay with? Because i'd be very worried staying with this person.

 

[MissDee-89]

thats actually the initial point of this thread lol, am i a priority to the council given as im not too far along?
All my family live in suffolk and i cant stay with them, im stuck out here all on my own.

 

[BunnyFace]

thats actually the initial point of this thread lol, am i a priority to the council given as im not too far along?
All my family live in suffolk and i cant stay with them, im stuck out here all on my own.

Well, what you've said will be classed as domestic abuse and because you are pregnant they will take you very seriously if you speak to someone specialized in domestic violence and they will sort something out for you. But that will mean you'll have to speak to a police officer or someone similar.

 

[lily123]

Hunni, this IS abuse, and yes you would be an absolute top priority to be re-housed.
please please get out of there as soon as you can, could you stay with your friends or any family whilst it's all processing? x x x x x

 

[MissDee-89]

Everyone is too far away, ive only lived here under a year havent really met anyone. Im hoping they will put me in a hostel or something. Ive got nothing though, all ive got is a suitcase of clothes and make-up.
I dont have a clue how to do everything, i know i can get a community care grant at some point but i dont know what i can apply for.

 

[BunnyFace]

Everyone is too far away, ive only lived here under a year havent really met anyone. Im hoping they will put me in a hostel or something. Ive got nothing though, all ive got is a suitcase of clothes and make-up.
I dont have a clue how to do everything, i know i can get a community care grant at some point but i dont know what i can apply for.

They will do everything they can to protect you and your LO. They will be able to help you with money and such also. Just speak to someone hun. If you can't make the call at home (im guessing he's there all the time if her hasnt got a job) go the police station and talk to them. just get out of there sweetie.

 

[MissDee-89]

I'll call the homelessness advice thing on tuesday, things always go really wrong over the weekend or holidays.

Thanks for the advice, i never really looked at this as being as serious as it is, i mean, he could throw something and it could hit LO when it's born or something like that.

Only stayed with him this long because i thought he needed me, that he'd have no life without me etc.


Thank you

 

[lily123]

yes PLEASE do before it gets any worse and speaking from experience, it sounds like i will get worse if you don't do something about it love.
they would put you in a hostel until they found you somewhere more permanent, in my area there's a big block of quite nice flats that is especially for women escaping domestic abuse, maybe do some research to find out if there's a similar scheme in your area? xxx

 

[MissDee-89]

Theres a free advice center in town for housing advice, ill go there, problem is i have a gorgeous little cat, dont want to leave him

 

[lily123]

You'd be able to take your kitty i'd have thought.
They let me take my dog last year x x x x

 

[BunnyFace]

They'd let you take your cat im sure. 0808 2000 247 that's the number for womens aid. I think you'd get things done quicker if you speak to the police though, the people who deal with domestic violence are lovely and they will sort out somewhere for you to stay etc.

 

[cabaretmum2b]

Speaking from experience, it's likely to get worse. Call women's aid and your local council, as well as the police, ideally. Do you really want your bubba growing up in that environment?
Good luck hun xxx

 

[vpeterman720]

It is definetly classified as abuse and you should definetly leave. No one should have to go through that

 

[Desi's_lost]

"punishing himself" by breaking things isnt right whether it hurts you or not. it shows some serious instability. i know its hard to walk away from people, specially when you arent sure whats safe, but you cant risk the babies health staying there. if he's done it before, he's probably not gonna change. the sooner you start getting on your feet the better.