Public Shaming

[Ozzieshunni]

It's not a "newer" approach There is nothing wrong with validating and respecting your child's emotions. I hate the misconception that AP parents are "soft." Am I hell! Alex does get told when he's done something wrong. We just deal with discipline in a different way.

 

[jenniferttc1]

By "newer" I mean this approach for sure was not around when I was growing up, and I'm not that old. But with the kids today and this method being used more and more, I just don't have faith in it honestly. The kids are horrible these days.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

By "newer" I mean this approach for sure was not around when I was growing up, and I'm not that old. But with the kids today and this method being used more and more, I just don't have faith in it honestly. The kids are horrible these days.

It has been around for a long time. It's only lately that it's getting more well known.

I hate to tell ya, people that AP actually have better behaved kids who are more independent and very well adjusted. We don't believe in not disciplining, we just use different methods, like I said.

My niece has been parented in a "traditional" way and she doesn't know how to control her emotions. She shouts because her parents shout and she doesn't listen to anyone, aside from me and my DH. We are very firm, but fair.

I believe in mutual respect. I will respect my child's needs and emotions and I expect them to respect me the same.

ETA: Nope, I don't hate to tell you actually! I'm damn proud when people comment about how well behaved Alex is!

 

[Dragonfly]

See I go for self disapline, my kids wont be stealing candy as they know its wrong. There for they dont do it to receive such punishments. Its more hard work than just a good aul shaming or a time out but its worth it in the end. I was self disciplined to.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

It is really about learning right from wrong, isn't it? I don't think it is a concept that can be grasped until a child is three, but you can lay the foundations before then. What does it solve putting my 18 month old in a corner? He doesn't understand.

 

[Dragonfly]

By "newer" I mean this approach for sure was not around when I was growing up, and I'm not that old. But with the kids today and this method being used more and more, I just don't have faith in it honestly. The kids are horrible these days.

Its the parents that make them kids.

 

[Tasha]

It's not a "newer" approach There is nothing wrong with validating and respecting your child's emotions. I hate the misconception that AP parents are "soft." Am I hell! Alex does get told when he's done something wrong. We just deal with discipline in a different way.

No one mention AP. People who chose not to public shame or chose to descipline their child via this 'newer' approach are not neccessarily AP. We dont scream, shout, smack/spank etc but we arent AP either.

It has been around for a long time. It's only lately that it's getting more well known.

I hate to tell ya, people that AP actually have better behaved kids who are more independent and very well adjusted. We don't believe in not disciplining, we just use different methods, like I said.

My niece has been parented in a "traditional" way and she doesn't know how to control her emotions. She shouts because her parents shout and she doesn't listen to anyone, aside from me and my DH. We are very firm, but fair.

I believe in mutual respect. I will respect my child's needs and emotions and I expect them to respect me the same.

ETA: Nope, I don't hate to tell you actually! I'm damn proud when people comment about how well behaved Alex is!

As for the bolded, that is a pretty strong statement to make. I have no doubt some children from AP families are better behaved etc, but I also have no doubt that some children from families that dont AP are better behaved than some that do. Children are individuals so blanket statements (or what seems to be one) dont work.

 

[Tiff]

It is really about learning right from wrong, isn't it? I don't think it is a concept that can be grasped until a child is three, but you can lay the foundations before then. What does it solve putting my 18 month old in a corner? He doesn't understand.

IMO, that's the problem with comparing discipline styles, because that is completely true. There's no way I would discipline my 4 year old in the same way that I would discipline an 18 month for sure.

But we all inevitably look inwards to our own methods when threads like this come along and then it can cause friction or people feeling the need to defend their parenting style.

Also, we only see the end results of these stories... we don't know how these kids were raised. We assume based on the outcome that they were raised whichever way... but does anyone really ask them how they parented when the kids were younger?

I personally dislike saying that either way of parenting (traditional or attachment) produces a kind of personality or behavior. AP has definitely been around for awhile, I have friends who's parents definitely subscribed to that and they were little shits. I also have friends who were disciplined traditionally and they are completely fine. I personally prefer the AP way of things when it comes to Claire, she's a very sensitive kiddo and she doesn't respond to TD like other kids would I guess.

Personality of the child also comes into play as well, in my opinion at least.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Typically, when people refer to this "newer" approach, they are meaning AP.

And I would put money on my statement. Parents who follow most of the AP principles, whether they know they are or not do generally have better behaved children.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Also, validating emotions and not shaming your child is AP so I don't know what Jennifer was meaning?

 

[jenniferttc1]

I was not referring to AP parenting, I honestly have no idea what it is really and what it involves. I don't do ANY parenting style but a mixer of my own and what I believe is the best way to handle things. I don't follow someone else's guidelines. I personally believe that sometimes a child needs stricter discipline, that's all.

 

[babyjan]

I can't remember the name of it but there was a video on YouTube of a man talking about his daughter and how she goes on fb talking badly of her parents or something and then he ends up breaking her laptop in the video, don't know if anyone has mentioned it yet

 

[Katy Bug]

I personally wouldn't do it. If I found something on their facebook I didn't approve of I'd probably make them shut down their page. Then again it depends on their age. If they're under the age of 16 I feel I would have the right to control whether or not my kid has a facebook account. Once they're 18 I feel it's their right and I have no right to control their site accounts or anything like that.

 

[jenniferttc1]

I can't remember the name of it but there was a video on YouTube of a man talking about his daughter and how she goes on fb talking badly of her parents or something and then he ends up breaking her laptop in the video, don't know if anyone has mentioned it yet

I looked it up, I honestly thought it was brilliant. She publically embarrassed her parents, he just gave her a taste of her own medicine. I don't think he did anything that bad. He just read what she wrote on the internet, and destroyed a laptop that he bought. Her language was disgusting towards her parents, especially for her age. I also watched his reply to Dr. phil and LOVED it. I seriously dislike that man, he is the worst at publicly shaming people and think his butt smells like roses.

 

[Dragonfly]

I am seeing more and more I see these pics of kids coming up on my news feed from pages (not parents) it makes me uneasy. At what point do you think its ok to hang your own kid out to dry in front of the world on the internet? As parents we are suppose to protect our children, this isnt protecting them. Do whatever punishments in your own home to your kids, I may not agree but that dosnt matter in the long run what someone else things of punishments its about exploiting your kids online to such humiliation. Taking a picture for facebook which will circulate forever for years on many sites where the comments on it are terrible. Praising the parents for good parenting and jeering at the children,seeing how many likes they can get and shares. This wont feel good to a children who maybe just had a simple fall out over something. This wont teach them skills to problem solve in the future either but show mum and dad can make me feel such immense shame to the world. Its hardly a parent you will end up confiding in. No I cant imagine doing this to my children. Such a young age dosnt deserve this, no one would do that to an adult. Pretty soon this trend could turn the tables in a few yeas and find kids airing their parents laundry online. Wonder where they will have learned that from.

 

[Tasha]

Did anyone see the photo of our get along shirt or something? Where they have a massive t-shirt and put the two children in it and then took a photo of it and put it on fb? I dont really get what they gain from forcing them to wear a shirt together or taking a photo so it is all across fb?

 

[Dragonfly]

Thats what I mean to, thats whats popping up all over the net now. Its not the punitive punishment that really gets me its the exploiting your own kids like that that does get me. It dosnt show respect at all. Do something wrong and I will shame you to the world. Yet another control tactic.

 

[Tasha]

Agree Dragonfly. They're only little too

 

[lhancock90]

Social suicide, which, whether agreed with or not is a massive issue these days.
Its not a punishment, its a death sentence IMO.

 

[Dragonfly]

Social suicide, which, whether agreed with or not is a massive issue these days.
Its not a punishment, its a death sentence IMO.

I agree, its also a platform for bullies to use later on to, them photos dont disappear. But then the parents that do this are no better then bullies to imo.