Question?

[maaybe2010]

I have a question ladies

My OH is very keen to start trying straight away after our MMC but I'm a bit hessitant. . .

I'm scared if I manage to get pregnant again that I won't love the bean because I'll still wish I had our lost baby

Am I being silly?
I would hope I would feel something instantly, as soon as I found out but I don't know if this is realistic?

xx

 

[babysols]

Everyone feels different after a loss hun, you just know when you feel ready

I had a mmc in nov08 which broke my heart, had af a month later and got caught pregnant with my darling son that cycle.

8 months down the line i look at my son's beautiful face and i am thankful i lost in a way as if i didn't i would be looking at a different baby and i love my son so much i couldn't imagine being without him.

Its really hard i know, but if you don't feel ready yet then wait a while and take it from there

 

[maaybe2010]

Thanks hun

I think the reason that makes me want to try straight away is that it took us 16 months to get this pregnancy, I worry it'll take that long again
But then that clashes with my previous comment

I think NTNP is the route I think would be best atm

xx

 

[Neko]

I conceived my son the next cycle after an early miscarriage. A few times during the pregnancy I felt sad because of the baby I lost, but it didn't make me love my son any less. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now, you will recover from the miscarriage.

As far as getting pregnant, it took over a year for me to conceive my first pregnancy, then I got pregnant the first cycle after my miscarriage. Then I hadn't gotten pregnant in years of trying. I assumed I wasn't ever having more children. I found myself pregnant this fall, sadly miscarried at 14 weeks. Two cycles later, I was pregnant again. I wasn't even trying to get pregnant, I hadn't decided if I did want to try again.

NTNP for a couple of cycles would give you some time to emotionally recover from the miscarriage.

 

[KatyKat]

Hey, I also got pregnant again on my first proper cycle after m/c. Whilst I will always feel sad for the babies we lost, trust me, there is no better feeling than finding out you have a new baby to love.

I'm sure a lot will depend on your individual feelings, and how ready you are to try again, butI can't imagine anything making me love this one any less!

 

[secretbaby]

I got my bfp on the year anniversary of our baby sons funeral.... I had a desperate need to have a baby - after we lost our son I had to have a fallopian tube removed, I am 36 and time was definitely ticking.

I know that this baby can not replace our son - I would have given anything to have him back but came to terms with the fact that that is not going to happen. The only options were the - try again while we can and get pregnant again if we can and risk another rollercoaster ride from Hell like we went on in 2009 or not try .... time to run out ... or decide not to try and always live with the 'what ifs'.

I know many people through loss sites who got pg very soon after a loss (of various types) I know before I lost my son I would have thought it a bit odd to get pg straight after BUT having been through loss I totally understand it.

No one can tell you when the time is right - it has to be totally your decision.

I know if this pregnancy ends badly I can cope - I NEVER want to be in that position but I know I could get through. If I didn't know this I don't think we would have gone down the NTNP route.

My reply may seem a little confused - but that is what deciding to ttc after loss is... its not clear cut thing.

 

[mrsjo]

We started trying straight away. I have read in a few places that women are more fertile in the first 3 months after a miscarriage. We got pregnant again 3 months after my mmc. The biggest problem I am having is a huge fear of something going wrong again and having another missed miscarriage. I am trying really hard to stay positive. But I feel that I will never experience the full joy and excitement that a woman does when she has never had a miscarriage.

 

[bky]

I was prepared to be frustrated and angry and feel like I had wasted 12 weeks of ttc (I did have an 8 week scan, but my previous had presumably died at 9 so I wasn't feeling confident about it...) but by the time the 12 week scan came around I wasn't really feeling that way. I didn't get my BFP until after my previous due date had come and gone though.

 

[maaybe2010]

Thanks ladies

xx