questions about wanting a home birth

[mummy.wannabe]

hey
for any of you who have had a home birth please can you answer a few questions.
im just pre thinking as its taking my mind off whats going on with needing ivf at the moment.


Do you need to hire your own midwife?

can you still have pain relief?

ive been hearing nothing but rubbish stuff about having your baby in hospital at the mo, that there under staffed and stressed out and its nothing like one born every minute, even when it comes to chatting to you before hand and after etc x

 

[JenStar1976]

Hi!

You don't have to have an independent midwife, you are entitled to have two NHS midwives at your birth (although some areas may tell you that you won't be able to have a home birth, you are actually entitled to one). In terms of pain relief, you can have gas and air and/or pethidine at home.

This is a really good website to browse: https://www.homebirth.org.uk/

All the best with your IVF! xx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

thank you very much. i really think i would like one, to stay as calm as poss at home x
my friend is a professional photographer and would like photos too x

 

[madasa]

Sounds lovely! Wish we'd had a photographer....

There are other kinds of pain relief too, that are not drugs. For ex. massage, visualisation/hypnobirthing, birth pool.... Sometimes just moving or changing position is very effective in easing some of the pain and if anything you are MORE likely to have freedom of movement at home, pottering about.... than you would in hospital, on a hospital bed.

The homebirth website (^ ^ ^ ) is really good.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I would defo want the pool, I think I would feel more comfortable at home but suppose there's those worries and what if this happens questions.

I started to look at the website, there's so much info need awhile to read it x

 

[NaturalMomma]

Where I live we hire independent MWs because here they don't work in hospitals (but usually have a OB who is their back up). And no pain relief in terms of medications here.

 

[madasa]

I would defo want the pool, I think I would feel more comfortable at home but suppose there's those worries and what if this happens questions.

I started to look at the website, there's so much info need awhile to read it x

What if what happens? Seriously. Try to pin down that worry, and see if any of the ladies here can reassure. Chances are, they can

 

[mummy.wannabe]

You know you see women who's baby is too big and there pushing for ages and then get told they have to go into theatre for forceps.
Just any complications that you would need to be rushed into hospital and then your baby is at risk, that's all a worry x

 

[Mervs Mum]

It's important to understand WHY they end up in theatre with forceps. It's not generally down to the size of a baby but a previous intervention such as an epidural. That MASSIVELY increases the chances of ending up with a forceps delivery as you're flat on your back. Baby's of 9lb plus are born at home all the time. By being at home the chances of all the things happening each week on OBEM are vastly reduced. And yes you're right the 'attention' families appear to get from mws is not always the case when the cameras aren't on or it's very busy.

I have supported many, many, homebirths because families want the continuous support from someone they know and have built a relationship with and they have all been with NHS mws so you don't necessarily need to hire an independent Mw but if you want to ensure you know and like the Mw then in the UK that's really the only way unfortunately.

 

[Mervs Mum]

And as weve said on other threads, transfers are rarely for true emergency situations and mws are much more cautious at home and would suggest transfer much sooner than they would suggest an intervention in hospital. They factor all these things in

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Thank you, you know your stuff.
My brothers gf just had a baby at hospital and said they barely spoke to her, she was starving after the birth nothing was offered. That they just have too much on to spend time with people and it wasn't a lovely experience.

I think home births would be more relaxing and I know my mum, hubby's mum and sister would love to be at the birth. And also like I said my photographer friend has asked if I would be her 1st birth session which I would love, what a great memory.

I didn't realise the epidurals caused problems like that, as home you can move around where you like to get comfortable.

How much are private midwifes in the uk? I've already said to hubby were having such a struggle to get pregnant that I want to give birth at home.

How long can you stay in the water too? X

 

[charbaby]

Don't want to worry you but i only had gas and air at the hospital with my first born, he was only 7lb but i still had to have forceps delivery to help him out because he was just not coming. I think having a home birth would be a lovely experience but i personally would be to scared x Best of luck with what ever you chose to do x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I think I'd be scared but from what I've heard, your body tells you if there's something that doesn't feel right, and that if there was to be complicated the midwife says to go hospital early on.
There's a lot to think about tho,
So all good and bad experiences it be good to hear x

 

[Mervs Mum]

Of course there are times when we do everything 'right' and still need some help and that's why we should all be grateful for the marvel that is modern medicine and life saving c section etc. BUT it's important to understand that EVERY intervention such as breaking waters, speeding things up with synthetic oxytocin, constant fetal monitoring, restrictions on time and positions, inductions even without an epidural DO increase the chances of you having an assisted or cesarean delivery. That's a fact. For the vast majority of women, an undisturbed birth ie one that follows its own timeline, pattern etc however far from the 'averages' or text books it is and is not 'augmented' in anyway, will be a normal, healthy delivery. That's a fact.

 

[madasa]

Position is important. Position of mum and position of baby.

Being able to relax cannot be under estimated. That is huge, in terms of helping you minimise and cope with any pain, and being able to ALLOW the baby to move down and out. Staying calm and relaxed is easier at home for many people.

Our mental state can also be a factor in whether or not a person needs an assisted delivery. You really need to be able to "let go" - also often easier to do at home. Also, the ante natal prep. is important.

 

[NaturalMomma]

Things happen, yes, but they aren't that common actually. If a baby gets "stuck" it is usually because mom is on her back and/or baby is in a funny position. Moving can get baby "unstuck". Doctors are not normally trained for doing things differently, so they just rush into a c-section or forceps because that is what they know.

I had ds2 at home. His labor was prolonged because his shoulder was in the way of the opening. He couldn't come down like that. If I was in a hospital and laying on my back then I would have been rushed into a c-section because he would have been classified as stuck. Instead I did a common position that homebirthers use to move a baby into position, and after 5 minutes of that his head was entering my birth canal.

 

[aliss]

I had ds2 at home. His labor was prolonged because his shoulder was in the way of the opening. He couldn't come down like that. If I was in a hospital and laying on my back then I would have been rushed into a c-section because he would have been classified as stuck. Instead I did a common position that homebirthers use to move a baby into position, and after 5 minutes of that his head was entering my birth canal.

A similar thing happened to me as well (shoulder dystocia) - EXCEPT - I was stuck on my back, strapped to monitors (pitocin induction) and paralyzed from the waist down with an epidural. I was unable to do many of the simple physical maneuvers to free the baby, and thus his collarbone was broken on purpose to pull him out because I was laying there useless and could not do anything pro-active.

Which is why I'm doing a home birth with this one!

 

[mummy.wannabe]

So there's so many great things about having freedom to move about thats the main thing then.
Coz it all seems that if your stuck on a hospital bed you can't really change much.
It all makes a bit more sense I think and being at home ud be more relaxed and have the freedom to do as you wish and do what you feel natural to do.

The only thing that worries me now is that I Wont cope with the pain and that gas and air won't be enough x

 

[Mervs Mum]

But you don't know that until you try you may find gas and air plenty and if you don't you just transfer in! If you start off in hospital and find you manage well with water, tens, relaxation etc or even gas and air and wish you were at home, I'm afraid they won't transfer that way!

 

[mummy.wannabe]

The sounds ok. I think when the time comes you could have persuaded me to try a home birth x