Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[nicola ttc]

Hi ladies.
I thought it might be nice to have a thread for anyone who is pregnant after late loss, stillbirth, neonatal loss, sids or any other loss of a child other than m/c.
I don't want to offend anyone who has m/c but for us, the worry is just different. The things we will worry about, the times we will worry, the 'dates' we need to get past etc.
I just thought it might be nice to be here to support each other through that.
I'm Nicola. I lost Edward to SIDS at 4 weeks 5 days in September 2011 and lost Emily, born at 25 weeks, at 2 days old in May 2012.
I am due June 6th 2013.


Due Date List

Krippy - 15th December 2012.
Raif Shaheed born 02/12/12

Babybell - 23rd December 2012.
Lewis Jacob Owen Bell born 03/12/12

Ich28 - 15th February 2013
Jonathan born 21/01/13

Springflower - 1st May 2013
Sadie born 24/04/13

Nicola ttc - 4th June 2013

Dextersmum - 17th June 2013

Lexi - 19th June 2013

SweetbutHyper - 30th June 2013
Zachary Anthony Keith born 10/04/13

Amjon - 9th July 2013

 

[Krippy]

Hope you don't mind that I am following you Nicola!

My son was born sleeping at 39.5 weeks a little over a year ago. Cause unknown and I am almost 31 weeks pregnant with my rainbow. It will be great to have a thread like this to come and discuss all of our fears and also all of our triumphs!

Thanks Nicola!

 

[nicola ttc]

Not at all krippy!
Just what i was thinking.
Hows your pregnancy going? Do you get extra scans and checks this time?

 

[Krippy]

I have had ultrasounds once a month and I start bi-weekly NSTs starting in 1 week. So lots of hospital visits...but happy to be monitored and watched closely. It is starting to become more stressful now that I am getting closer to the end where I had my problems in my last pregnancy. I am worried about every feeling and pain, which of course comes along with any pregnancy! But only 7 more weeks until I meet this rainbow of mine and I am so excited!

 

[Baby Bell]

Hey girls can I join too?

I'm Aileen, my son Eoin was born sleeping last year at 36 weeks in Dec.
I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baba and although everything looking good so far I'm beginning to get really nervous/anxious.

I'm getting 2 weekly scans to make sure my wee baby is doin ok. And induction booked for 3rd Dec.

Hope everyone is doing well, and coping ok

 

[Krippy]

Yaaaahhh Bell/Aileen is here! My name is Kristin btw!

 

[nicola ttc]

Welcome Babybell. :wave:
How many weeks will you be when you are induced?
I'll be having another section this time and hoping to get as far as possible!! My babies have been born at (2 full term) 35,34,32 then 25 weeks so more than a little bit scared about this time!
I imagine the nearer we all get to our own 'worry point' the more anxious we will feel. Excited to meet our rainbows but anxious too.

 

[_Lexi_]

Hey girls. Little scary to be here as only got my bfp today. Think I'm due June next year, about 4 weeks at the moment.

Joshua was born at 32 weeks by planned c section to severe iugr and severely low fluid. He weighed 2lb 7oz and was with us for 13 hours before growing his wings. We still don't have a cause of death, but are going through genetic testing at the moment. They think it might be a disease that hasn't been seen before created by my partner and I both having the same 1 cell of DNA (out of over 17 thousand...) that has a defect.

I had an early mc 2 months ago. The first 12 weeks will be the usual worry, then after 20 weeks we'll be worried about iugr and fluid, then the birth is going to be terrifying in case the same thing happens.

Think I'm worrying a bit too soon, haven't even told the other half yet!!

Thanks for inviting me over Nicola. I've said hi in the first tri forums, but the support just isn't the same xx

 

[Krippy]

Hi Lexi!

I have a feeling that I am going to like this group! Thanks again Nicola...what a great idea!

 

[Tasha]

Not pregnant (yet) but wanted to say congrats to Nicola and you all

 

[Baby Bell]

Congratulations lexi and Nicola on both your bfps! I hope we can all help each other through these difficult weeks/ months!

Kristin I think we just keep ending up in the same threads.......far too similar life events I suppose!

Nicola I'll be 37 weeks when I'm induced. Have you seen your consultant yet, hopefully they will be monitoring you very closely

 

[sandrab]

Hi all my name is Sandra

1st daughter misha Janet Victoria was born 17/07/04 at 36+4 weighing 3lbs 5 oz I was told by hospital all she had o do was get bigger, so waited and waited then she started to become really ill and then passed away 26/11/04 with severe pulmonary hypertension I never got her out of hospital and miss her every day

2nd daughter amber anne born 09/11/05 which she is perfect and will soon be 7

2011 1 x MMC , 2012 2 x MMC

So even though my daughter amber is my rainbow baby I have had much luck since so still terrified I am now 10weeks pregnant x

 

[nicola ttc]

Hi Sandra.
I don't think it makes a difference if you've had healthy pregnancies before or after your loss, the hurt of losing the baby you lost is just as big and the worry will still be there!

Kristin - i'm loving this thread already.

Aileen- i have seen my dr but will be having my first proper appointment on wednesday next week. We'll make a plan from there but am definitely going to be classed as high risk!!

Lexi- good to have you here. Really pleased for you - have you told Jon yet?! Do you know yet how they'll manage this pregnancy?

Tasha - thanks lovely. Hopefully you'll join us here soon.

 

[nicola ttc]

Hi ladies :wave:
How is everyone today?
I got my first consultant appointment through for when i'm12 weeks. Next week is for midwife, i got confused.
It seems really far away and quite late to first see the consultant but i guess none of my problems really occur til week 20 onwards so theydon't actually need to monitor me til then.
I'm desperate for a scan! I just can't believe there is a baby in thrre or that everything is ok if there is. Did anyone else feel like this?!? My only symptom is tiredness atm which isnt unusual for me anyway so just doesn't feel real yet.
6 weeks today.

 

[Krippy]

Oh Nicola...I felt like that up until around 20 or so weeks. It is all so surreal and unbelievable at so many times. Sometimes I still have too remind myself that I will have a baby in my arms in just 7 short weeks.

These 6 weeks will fly by and you will be seeing your bean so soon! So happy for you!

 

[_Lexi_]

I'm pretty good today bits starting to sink in a little now!! Going to ring my dr tomorrow and see if I can get an appoitment with him. Will then have a meeting with Joshua's dr, my consultant during my lady pregnancy, and my genetics specialist!! Then perhaps the midwife. Lol. I'm really hoping for an early scan, but I know it's not likely. With Joshua I had scans at 5 and 6 weeks due to pain and bleeding, then twice a week from 22 weeks!! Not really sure how they'll monitor me to be honest. I imagine from 20 weeks they'll be checking size/growth and fluid, but probably not a lot till then.

Jon was confused when I handed him the present, he opened it, looked at me a bit confused, then you could see it click. He was really happy, hugged me, then kissed my tummy. Bless him. Both just really scared and nervous.

I think I'm about 4 weeks now. In my last pregnancy, severe hyperemesis kicked in at 5+3, right up till 24 weeks. Fingers crossed it stays away this time.

But worried about my job. Only xmas temp, been there a month, but they told me they usually keep the temps on. I just know that as soon as I mention pregnancy, my chance if being kept on are gone. Problem is I'll be needing time off for appoitments, and wish Joshua I got quite bloated really early and looked about 25 weeks, oddly enough it was the biggest I got during my whole pregnancy!! xx

 

[nicola ttc]

Ahhh what a lovely reaction Lexi.
Thats quite a lot of doctors you need to see!! For me things kind of tick along in the first 18weeks or so before i get extra checks too.
Its strange how the early bloating makes you look about 5 months pregnant isn't it?!? I'm going to struggle to hide this til the 12 week scan!
Its a shame about the job - maybe you could speak to whoevers in charge to explain the situation? Might be worth a shot if you'd like to stay on.

I'm in bed already. Just so ridiculously tired today. Yaaaaaaawn.
Night night ladies.

 

[nicksi27]

Hi ladies, please can i join My name is nicola and im 8 weeks pregnant after losing jacob my first baby in february. We went along for our 20 week scan and there was no hb :'( We have since found out that jacob had IUGR due to placental failure but dont actually know what caused the placenta to fail. Clotting screens etc have been negative so the only thing i can think of is maybe early onset pre-eclampsia. Anyway, im excited to be pregnant again but absolutely terrified. Me and my OH are already continuously talking about this LO and i just dont want to let him down. Im on aspirin now and am currently waiting for my first consultant appt (probably be when im 12 weeks). im having scans at 12,16,20 weeks then a doppler at 23 weeks and repeated clotting screens with my further care being planned then. The thought of stepping foot in a scanning room terrifies me. I went for my first MW appt at the hospital a week ago and had to walk straight past the scanning room where i got the bad news and the other room i had to sit in last time - i could feel the panic rising and my heart was pounding it was horrible. I just gotta hope ill get better news when in these rooms this time.

Congrats on your new pregnancies ladies - wishing you all a H&H pregnancy. xx

 

[nicola ttc]

Hi Nicksi :wave: good to see you here.
Its good you have a care plan all set up and are going to be closely monitored.
I'm sure it will be scary going back into a scanning room but i know it will be happy news this time.

 

[nicksi27]

Hi Nicksi :wave: good to see you here.
Its good you have a care plan all set up and are going to be closely monitored.
I'm sure it will be scary going back into a scanning room but i know it will be happy news this time.

thanks nicola ive read some of your posts on the other boards, im so sorry for your losses Are you about 6-7 weeks? i think im due around 26th May so just before you. Is your care going to be much differnet this time? i just wish i could have a scan to believe that there actually is a baby in there!