Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[nicksi27]

Dextersmum - congratulations on your bfp. you hope you have a very H&H pregnancy. It sounds like you have an excellent plan in place this time round and im sure your little rainbow will be just fine Love your little pic of dexter, what a handsome little angel xx

Krippy - wowww what a difference four weeks has made. baby is definately enjoying his or her time in there. i cant believe you havent caved and found out the sex. I didnt didnt want to find out last time but this time i wont be able to stop myself!

Hope everyone is having a good week. Is anybody else really not looking forward to telling people about their news? I just wish i could keep it a secret the entire time. Im scared to jinx it. Id talked about my pregnacy with jacob to everybody and everybody was so excited so when we lost him, i felt guilty like id built everyones hopes up and let them down. I know i shouldnt worry about it happening again because we've gotta be positive but its hard isnt it .... i think people are starting to guess tho because ive had a few stares at my belly

 

[Krippy]

its such a nerve wrecking time and it is hard to relax and just enjoy being pregnant when you know what we know don't you think. Any advice on how you have been doing this Kristin would be nice to hear

It sounds silly but I find that in general that I am not much of a worrying about anything in regular life and like to think that some things are out of my control, so the first trimester and most of the second trimester I was pretty much ok as I knew if anything went wrong there wouldn't be anything that I could physically do. I made a conscious choice to enjoy this pregnancy and take back my pregnancy innocence if you may. What happened to all us was a different experience but it changed us, I embrance that change but I also will not let it rule how I run the rest of my life. Not that I didn't have any crazy thoughts or break downs I just tried to think and visualize positive outsomes. I find yoga and meditation work wonders for me. I also didn't tell anyone for a really long time so I think I didn't really feel pregnant or believe what was happening was real...Still can't believe that I am having a baby.

Now that I am in the third trimester I am starting to freak out a bit more...I don't sleep well as I go through scenarios that might occur with this baby and what I would do to stop it from happening, so that is what runs through my head all night long when I am not able to control it. This baby doesn't let my worry much as it is a constant mover where RJ was a sleepy baby and barely moved at all. I am not sure if that helps or not but...

 

[Krippy]

Aileen...How are you doing hun? Haven't seen you in a while...

 

[dextersmum]

thanks Kirstin I go to reiki and accupuncture which I find help me to relax and I have a meditation cd that I will have to start listening to. Due to my 3 mc's it is the 1st trimester that is most worrying for me. I am managing to sleep but am having some strange dreams lol. I will try some visualisation exercises as well

 

[Krippy]

I had a early trimester loss too Tracy...It is all so hard! Thinking of you hun and here for you if you need anything!

Saw my OB today and the think cramps are from stretching and pressure from the weight of the baby. Yep Dr. thinks that it is stretching and pressure from an extremely, his words, dense and rock hard baby. Because of this he is pretty sure I will have the c-section but we are keeping an open mind and wait for the next u/s. He is pretty sure, in his experience, that I will have another big baby! I really don't care anymore I just want this bubs to be here! December 5th is the day of my c-section!

 

[Baby Bell]

Hey Kristen, how's you? Iv not been writing much recently......exhausted from work. I'm suppose to have my last shift on the third but think il move it forward to Sunday. Once I'm finished il be back on here chatting away lol

I hope everyone is keeping well!
Love to all angels and bumps

 

[dextersmum]

did you have a c section with RJ Kristin?

 

[Krippy]

I can't believe you are still working Aileen...You are super woman! GL keeping your energy up and can't wait to hear from you again! Glad to see you briefly pop in though!

I did not have a c-section with RJ but I had a very traumatic birth with his shoulders getting extremely stuck due to his size. He was 9 pounds 10 ounces but he was also very large, with broad shoulders and big hands and feet. So my OB does not want that to happen again and if this baby is measuring anything over 8 pounds then they are going to suggest a c-section which I am petrified of for some reason. I guess we will see what will happen at my next u/s in November...As long as this baby gets here I will be happy!

 

[nicola ttc]

Kristin - i've had 4 now and they're really not so bad i promise! Just as long as baby is here healthy and well, like you said, it really doesn't matter either way.
Tracy - i had early losses before Elliot too - every stage of this is just so difficult! Kristin i think you have the right idea thinking you are just going to try to enjoy the pregnancy! So hard to do and no way we can ever get back to that 'ignorant bliss' but definitely good to attempt!
Nicksi i forgot to say before, i'm feeling like that about telling people too. I did the whole fb posting scan pics and telling the world last time and you know what happened.... just doesn't feel right to tell people this time. I get the 'let people down' feeling hun, you didn't though.
How are you doing today?
I'm in Ireland at a posh hotel for a friends wedding tomorrow....3days at an irish wedding and no alcohol for me..have a feeling i'll be on here quite a bit tomorrow!

 

[Krippy]

Have fun spoiling yourself in Ireland Nicola! Have a great time...I love posh hotels. Have a big bubble bath for me!

 

[dextersmum]

Nicola what are you saying is your reason for not drinking?? I always find this the hardest thing although people are getting used to the fact that I don't drink that much and am my husbands taxi driver especially as we moved last year to an area where our family and friends don't live lol

the irish certainly know how to celebrate. I am not sure as the bride I could do a 3 day event though.

I am into thinks like reiki so I am reading a book called energy medicine for women which teaches you techniques to rebalance energies and there are also links to feeling more energised and positive so I am practicing them inbetween feeling sick and taking naps because I am absolutely knackered. There are ones that are meant to help with morning sickness so I am trying all of them as everday so far as soon as I wake up I feel sick, I have not actually been sick but just get nauseas lol

I had to have an emergency c section with Dexter kristin and like Nicola said it wasn't too bad at all especially if you know it is what is best for baby and you. My only bit of advice is that if you do have it and they give you a morphine drip that you press yourself for the pain, if you can don't use too much only press it when you are in pain. My friend had a section and pressed the button in case she got pain and basically lost 24 hours as she was so drugged up she couldn't do anything and it made her a bit loopy lol

 

[amjon]

Hi ladies! I get to join you now. Hopefully this bean will be sticky. I'm going to get the blood thinners next week. I'm 3 weeks 4 days now.

 

[nicola ttc]

Congratulations amjon! Great to see you here
Do you have a care plan set up other than your blood thinners?
Tracey - i did really well just passing the drinks i was poured over to nick and just drinking the water and no one noticed but nick had been drinking double so decided about midnight that he would announce it to his friends. I was a bit annoyed as we haven't told parents yet but its ok. They are nicks work friends so i dont really see them.
I cant get away with not drinking with my friends as theyd know something was up have just avoided going out so far except for one friends birthday who i ended up telling and with a b n b friend who hid it for me!!
How is everyone? I've come back from Ireland with a horrible cold. Luckily its half term here and my girls are in the lake district with their dad and his girlfriend so a week of no school runs and just me n the boys for me.

 

[amjon]

Thanks Nicola. That doctor is going to put me on Crinone (progesterone) for 12 weeks also. I think I'll have the regular monthly visits and weekly starting around 20 something weeks (lost Taylor at 27). I'll also be having weekly U/S at the end.

 

[dextersmum]

congratulations Amjon and welcome lets hope this time is our time

Nicola you had a good plan but as Nick had to drink double I guess thats why he spilled the beans lol

Sorry to hear you have a cold.

I have been feeling pretty sickly over the last 4 days or so and have had to run to sinks and toilets and rush out of supermarkets to wretch. Not been sick as such but been feeling it. I had accupuncture today and he did something for the sickness so hopefully that will keep it at bay for now. I don't know why they call it morning sickness because mine has been all times of the day and night But I tell you I would be/feel sick every day if it helps me bring this baby home.

Have a 6 week scan this week to check that everything is ok and then I will be given the heperin and progrestrone so fingers crossed for thursday. Although I am not looking forward to having to inject myself every day. Does any body else have to do this and have an suggestions on the best way to do it??

 

[nicola ttc]

Tracey what is heparin? I was on clexane injections when i was in hospital and at home and never once managed to do it myself so no advice from me i'm afraid!! I got Nick to do mine
What day is your scan? I'm still waiting for my 12 week scan date to come through. Should be for early December but feels so unreal at the moment i just want one now. I think it's because i dont have any continuous symptoms really. Just an aversion to red meat and tiredness but i'm so busy all the time that i think i'd be like this anyway!! Sounds odd but i'd love a bit of reassuring morning sickness

 

[amjon]

congratulations Amjon and welcome lets hope this time is our time

Nicola you had a good plan but as Nick had to drink double I guess thats why he spilled the beans lol

Sorry to hear you have a cold.

I have been feeling pretty sickly over the last 4 days or so and have had to run to sinks and toilets and rush out of supermarkets to wretch. Not been sick as such but been feeling it. I had accupuncture today and he did something for the sickness so hopefully that will keep it at bay for now. I don't know why they call it morning sickness because mine has been all times of the day and night But I tell you I would be/feel sick every day if it helps me bring this baby home.

Have a 6 week scan this week to check that everything is ok and then I will be given the heperin and progrestrone so fingers crossed for thursday. Although I am not looking forward to having to inject myself every day. Does any body else have to do this and have an suggestions on the best way to do it??

I had my first shot today. The doctor stabbed it into my stomach and injected it. He's the one I don't trust, so I'm not 100% sure if that's the right way. I'm picking up the Crinone tomorrow. I picked up an OTC cream yesterday because I was afraid my temp was getting too low, so I'll use that until the pharmacy gets the other in. Why are they waiting to start you? I lost my 2nd at 6 weeks because I was only on the aspirin.

 

[dextersmum]

Hi Ladies

god I am so stressed and p**sed off today due the the incompetency of my local hospital who are meant to be looking after me and trying to help me in this pregnancy. Heparin is a blood thinner even though my tests came back clear this is a medication they give as a precaution (usually when they don't know what else to do - or thats how it feels) I have no idea why they are making me wait until 6 weeks Amjon but I just thought a plan was a plan and better than nothing at the time.

I phoned my consultants secretary 2 weeks ago as told by my consultant (even though she never sent me a copy of the letter outlining the the plan) to inform her I am pregnant and for her to arrange the viability 6 week scan and then arrange for me to get the medication I should then get if everything is ok. I thought that was all sorted when she verbally confirmed a scan at 8am on thursday 1st nov followed by an apt with the antenatal clinic at 12.50pm on the same day to get the medication. I thought it was stupid to have 2 seperate times at the same hospital but I wanted my husband at the scan so I kept the 2 appointments. I have had a phone call today to say that the 12.50pm apt also included a scan so they were cancelling my 8am scan. I firmly said that I was not happy with that as it wasn't convenient to be told 2 days before the apt that it was a later time my husband has to be free. I was informed the consultants secretary would have to phone me back and sort it out. And of course I got a call off somebody else as the secretary is on holiday (she is never available when you have an issue which is frustrating as she caused this issue). I ended up breaking down in tears on the phone and said a few swear words to the secretary that had called me and told her although I knew it wasn't her fault that his whole situation was a farce and that I was meant to be trying not to get stressed but everything they are doing is making me stressed when they are actually meant to be helping me. She was lovely and managed to sort everything out once they realised that the 12.50pm apt was a booking in apt which you should get at 12 weeks anyway and of course I will only be 6 weeks 2 days. Seriously they give me a care plan and when I asked the consultant at my apt if people would know it was in place and be able to help she looked at me like I was stupid and said of course. But I wasn't stupid after all and I have had to do all the chasing to get all of this sorted when really it should of been as simple as making 1 phone call and having it all done for me.

well now I have shared this I feel a lot better lol

The plan now is that I go on thursday for a scan at 8am and if everything is as it should be then I go to the antenatal clinic at 9am to see a doctor and get the medication followed by an apt with a midwife. I should then get scans every 2 weeks just to check how everything is progressing. Fingers crossed this is my time

 

[dextersmum]

amjon do you still take your temperature once you are pregnant?

 

[nicksi27]

dextersmum - its a joke that hospitals make you feel this way. I totally get your frustration. Its like you're treat like a number and not an actual patient. Our pregnancies are hard enough without getting totally stressed out about their incompentancy. Glad you have got your appointments sorted out tho I rang my consultants secretary to ask if i could be started on heparin as a precaution and she said absolutely no way. she said the only instance id be started on it is if i 'lost more babies'!! This comment made me want to scream and she didnt get a nice response to it! All my tests were negative too but ive demanded they're repeated in pregnancy even though my consultant said no. I dont feel like the hospital are on my side at all and its scary. Hopefully they will be great when you go for your appt and scan and you will feel reassured.