Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[lysh]

Irisheyes/babybump/noelle- DH and I are going to discuss if we want another one right after LO turns a year old. We thought we wanted two, but I am also finding the sleep to be super hard to deal with. I am not sure if I can do this again with another baby to care for!!! At the same time, I think it would be nice for dd to have a sibling. I am turning 35 this summer, so I feel like I either have to have them close together or not at all. We would have to basically start trying this summer. Not sure how I feel about it yet.....at the moment I would say no way, but we will see this summer.

bananaz- That is too much about the sitting in bed thing. I just told DH that might be another milestone (like rolling) that we will have to deal with that might disrupt sleep! lol I can just imagine her sitting there not knowing she needs to lie back down!!!

Aimmee- Yeah, I do not have anyone cover my class, I just pump during my breaks...just makes it hard to get things done! I find the worse sleep I get the less I pump too. My LO has no pattern with naps.....and her evenings really follow no pattern either. If she has a good night, I honestly have no idea why!

Jessica- Glad to hear your LO is still STTN!

Shadowy Lady- Sorry she is having some rough nights again. Our babies just seem to go through so many stages and phases!

Noelle- DH and I use to be tough about not getting LO at 4- but if she went too long without a feeding (longer than what she is use too) or went to bed way too early, then I feel bad and give in. One night the wakings are spaced perfectly, other nights it is a problem.

Well, DH and I are going to get comfy and relax for a bit. I have school work I should do, but I am too tired. I was so tired today at work that I forgot to pass out h/w (kids were thrilled), kept mixing up names, and was loosing things int he middle of lessons!!! Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

 

[Noelle610]

Jessica, it's so crazy that Lilly just randomly started sleeping through the night. It's so awesome! I would say she probably just feels "off" today because of her shots. They make Charlotte sooo sleepy.

Lysh, I have so been there with the sleep deprivation and totally being off my game at work. Luckily the boss' boss has a 5 month old who doesn't sleep, so he gets it!

 

[bumpbear]

LO was a good sleeper until 4 month sleep regression hit, then all hell broke loose at night times, and for naps.

DH was too tired- scratch that- too exhausted to go in to work this morning for a very important meeting. Yesterday, at baby group, one of the staff asked if she had just woken up from a nap because she seemed out of it (this was the perkiest she's been for weeks!) After 5 months of no more than 2 hours sleep in a row (if we're lucky!) and the last week where on top of that she has been awake to play from 2am-5am, we decided to go for it and try sleep training.

We are part way in to our first night. She fell asleep after 33 minutes of crying (DH went in at 1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 mins, 5 mins then 10).

It's been tough but I just want to see my little girl without dark circles, and not clawing at her face all day because she's so exhausted. I also don't want DH to screw up at work abd get fired. I hope to God this works. It's horrible hearing her cry, but I keep telling myself it's for her own good...

 

[libbylou]

Irish - YES. I always wanted two kids until I had LO. Now between her terrible sleeping and her high needs personality and my terrible PPD I am terrified to have another one (not exagerating, the thought actually makes me feel like vomiting). DH has always said lets have one first and then see and now he says no way, he can't watch me go through this again!!
Glad the 20 min wakings have stopped and hope that the 1-2 hour wakings get better too

AngelUK - I honestly cannot imagine having two bad sleepers - hats off to you momma!

lysh - 3:55am?? Crikey. That sucks.

Noelle - good to hear a positive story about meds. Last night I didn't take anything before bed and had a terrible sleep, spent most of the night lying there awake

Bananaz - glad you guys had a good night! I tried stuffing LO with rice cereal a couple times...never worked

babybumplove - I always go "easier" on LO when she's not feeling well...hope your LO is feeling better

aimee - glad you are finally seeing some better sleeping!

shadowy - my LO wakes a lot for no particular reason....usually she just needs a rock and a cuddle.

jessica - thats so awesome that Lilly is still sleeping great!

Last night wasn't great again. I had a tough time falling asleep. LO slept 3.5 hours for her first stretch but was waking up and whinging just enough to keep me awake every half hour during that time...then she slept 1.5 hours before coming to bed with us. Luckily she settled nicely in bed with us until about 6am and then slept in her crib from 6-8am.

 

[BabyBumpLove]

Ok ladies I’m sorry I am being selfish and just posting about me right now. I am reading all of your posts with a fine tooth comb hoping to find something you’re doing that maybe I can try!!

Do you ever just know you are in for a bad night with baby before it even begins ha-ha. My husband came home from work to find me almost in tears from exhaustion. He then declared that he didn’t care what the books said “we are going to try keeping baby up later so he will sleep later.” I think we all know I am in for a long night! My son usually goes to bed and down for naps after being awake for 1 hour and 45 min, 2 hours TOPS! Well this evening we managed to keep my poor miserable, tired baby up for 4 HOURS! I kept trying to abandon the plan, but my hubby insisted we give it a try. So here we go, wish me luck. I have a feeling that tonight is going to be a challenging one!

 

[libbylou]

bumpbear - Don't feel guilty. I chose to do sleep training for the same reasons as yo. My LO hit the sleep regression at 3 months and rarely slept longer than 45-60 mins at a time and it was often hours of fighting to get her to sleep in the first place. She was a mess, I was a mess, DH was a mess, it was awful.
I chose to "camp out" in her room and intermitently offer comfort based on her level of upset. Within a week she was sleeping much better and we actually had like two weeks of amazing sleep (by my books it was amazing!). Then she got 2 teeth, then a cold, then an ear infection and we're still trying to recover
However at least now she goes to sleep without 3 hours of crying and sleeps longer than 45 mins and her naps are much better
Good luck and stay strong momma!

babybumplove - I hope keeping him up later works! I've read that it works for some babies! Though they suggest slowly pushing bedtime back (1/2 at a time for a couple days) until you reach the desired bedtime.
and yes I know the feeling of "holy crap this night is going to suck"

 

[MiniKiwi]

I've been struggling with PPD since LO was born and the anxiety insomnia is definitely a part of it. Meeting with my dr in two weeks to discuss the possibility of putting me on some sort of med to help me through this
DH helps but not as much as I'd like (he's getting better slowly, he was totally useless when she was first born). LO is very very attached to me which makes it hard for other people to help because she tends to only want me...and my anxiety makes it hard for me to leave her or accept help from other people which is a vicious cycle!
My inlaws are totally useless...my mum helps but lives 3 hours away so we see her for a few days probably once a month and she has a lot of physical disabilities so she can't even help much...it's mostly all on me!
And no, she won't take a pacifier...which sometimes I'm happy about because I don't have to worry about weaning her off it but sometimes I wish I could just pop one in her mouth!

You know, I don't even have any advice. Just know you're doing AMAZINGLY, especially with so little help. I really hope things start going better for you soon

Last night was really good for us. She went down at 6:30pm and had wakings at 1:30am, 2:30am and 4:30am but I only fed her at the last one - the first two she resettled herself after 5-10 minutes of whining. Then she slept in until 6:30am!

It could just be a coincidence but I did manage to get a good amount of solids into her yesterday, unlike the previous few days (I cheated and gave her rice cereal for dinner after the refused the fruit and veggies purees I'd tried ).

So happy you had a good night... I don't even understand what is wrong with rice cereal..but tbh, I don't even know what it is Just some kind of mush with no nutritional value? haha, keep it up anyway and let me know if it works

I don't know why she wakes up and fusses if she's not hungry or in pain. The pedi appt is tomorrow and hopefully she'll give me some answers. I'm driving myself crazy here with my inconsistent baby

I used to drive myself crazy wondering stuff like that too. Life has been much easier now that I've just accepted it, LO sometimes sleeps well, sometimes bad. I don't dread night times anymore But I hope your doctor can ease your mind some

LO was a good sleeper until 4 month sleep regression hit, then all hell broke loose at night times, and for naps.

DH was too tired- scratch that- too exhausted to go in to work this morning for a very important meeting. Yesterday, at baby group, one of the staff asked if she had just woken up from a nap because she seemed out of it (this was the perkiest she's been for weeks!) After 5 months of no more than 2 hours sleep in a row (if we're lucky!) and the last week where on top of that she has been awake to play from 2am-5am, we decided to go for it and try sleep training.

We are part way in to our first night. She fell asleep after 33 minutes of crying (DH went in at 1 minute, 3 minutes, 5 mins, 5 mins then 10).

It's been tough but I just want to see my little girl without dark circles, and not clawing at her face all day because she's so exhausted. I also don't want DH to screw up at work abd get fired. I hope to God this works. It's horrible hearing her cry, but I keep telling myself it's for her own good...

I know it's probably a stupid question (but I'm paranoid now after my LO was sick) but have you had her checked over by a doctor?

I really hope for you, your DH and your LO that CC works. You poor things! You're doing the right thing for her, you have to do something if she's that miserable

 

[pink_rulez]

Iv always belived you either get a good day naper or a good night sleeper, both my girls have been pretty good through out the night but can't sleep for more than 15/20 mins in the day so are always grumpy and over tired.
I know it's hard but hang in there after months of stress and worry and doing everything i can to get her to nap Sophie finally figured it out at around 1yr she will now have a decent nap and sleeps pretty good at night, just keep thinking ur theough the qorst stages and there is light at the end of the tunnel and they will at some point work it out but evey baby is differnt. my mum n dad were savers when Sophie was little and now again I have Evelyn as they would have sophie and now have both for one weekend a month so I could get a decent rest and nights sleep.
Xx

 

[Irish Eyes]

Libby I think you're amazing being able to deal with the sleep deprevation as well as PPD.

To those ladies that are working or have more than one child, I am in awe!! There is no way I could be working right now, not productively anyway.

We had a lovely day yesterday! Great morning playing & he had a good nap. Babyclub in the afternoon and went to my mums after where he had an hour nap on her (she loves it and claims he "holds her down" so she has to nap as well!) He ate well and played well. The night was awful!!! He woke at least every hour. Hubby didn't have to go to work today so offered to do the full night shift (I have to wake him to tell him LOs awake) and this morning he said he has no idea how I cope on my own! When he's home we usually split the nights so it's not so bad.

With sleep training I feel like a complete hypocrite. I worked as a nanny for ages and helped others with using sleep training but won't use it on mine. I also feel like a failure in the sence that I've worked with kids for years but I can't get my own to sleep properly!

Jessica i'm hoping that we have your situation where he surprises us overnight by sleeping!!

 

[Noelle610]

BumpBear, I hope the sleep training works for you and quickly! I've had friends who have seen amazing results within 3 days.

BabyBump, don't feel bad about talking about yourself... I started this thread doing the same Tell your OH that it's fine to keep the baby up, but if he wakes more often from bein overtired that he has to tend to him while you sleep with earplugs! Let us know how it works out.

Pink, I am lucky that Charlotte napps pretty well. That said, I work full time and don't get to take advantage of it!

Last night started out great. Charotte went down around 6:45am. She slept until just before 5am, then was really restless. Of course this happened the day after I was telling you ll how great it is that Charlotte doesn't wake early.... Karma! I comforted her three times and she FINALLY went back to sleep at 6amor so. Of course I had to get up then. My DH checked on her at 6:15 and said he smelled a poo.... I feel like such a bad mom! Anyway, it's really hard if Charlotte wants to get up early on a weekday. By the time we get to daycare, she is VERY overtired and it throws all of the naps for the day off. She can usually only be awake for 2 hours in the morning. On the weekends, it's fine, because she just naps a bit earlier and has 3 naps instead of 2.

 

[jessicatunnel]

Our night started off weird. Her naps were REALLY messed up. So when 530 came around she wad exhausted so I had no choice but to put her down. She woke up at 630 and was wide awake and happy. She didn't end up going to bed until 8pm and slept through until seven where my dh actually got up with her because he didn't have to be at work until 830, which I thought was very nice of him.

 

[Noelle610]

Sounds like the 5:30 sleep was a nap Jessica. Sounds like a great night!

Irish, I hear you on the sleep training. I've always said I'd let my baby CIO if they were a bad sleeper when I was pregnant. Everyone I know does it. Never thought I'd find it so hard after I had her!

 

[libbylou]

So our night last night
Down to sleep 7:45-8pm
Awake for first feed 3:15 am
Back to sleep in crib after 15 mins nursing
Awake 6:30 am
Dozed and nursed in bed with me until 7:15am

TWO wakings! 7.5 hours of sleep in a row!!!! (of course I was awake every couple hours wondering if she was dead )

 

[bananaz]

Yay for good nights!! Especially libby - that's awesome, I hope she decides to go for a repeat performance tonight.

We had an unusually good night as well. She went to bed at 7pm, got up at 3am for a feed, and then went back down until 6am. So an 8-hour stretch and only one waking! I'm a little scared though because I'm getting sick and I'm worried she's going to catch it and everything's going to fall apart again. Meh.

 

[Aimee1003]

Libby and Bananaz- I am so jealous!!!

C went to bed at 7pm woke up at 10. He woke again at 11:40 and I decided not to feed him but to rock him. Fastforward one hour and I decided fine, have the boob!!! Of course he fell asleep then. he was back up at 6:15 and awake for day at 6:10. So his longest stretch was a little over 3 hrs. ergh!!!

I don't know what to do. I guess I just have to wait this phase out. I almost wish I could sleep train that with his weight problems, I can't. I guess I need to focus on strategies to allow me to get more sleep. Like giving him to DH when he wakes in the am on weekends and going back to sleep. Trying to work through the sleep problems while working full time is EXHAUSTING.

But my husband and I do want to have a second child. We figure that it would be better to have 1 now while we're not sleeping than to wait get use to sleeping again and then have to go through the sleep deprivation all over again. We are going to start trying after little one turns 1.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Libby! that made me laugh, you waking every two hours wondering if she was dead. Haha. So happy you had a good night

Bananaz, what a great night. Hoping little miss doesn't get sick

Aimee hope you get some rest soon

We had a good night, apart from one long wake up, I HATE those! Bed at 6:30 with no rocking (yessss!) and woke her for a dreamfeed at 11:30 then she woke up at 3 and had a change and feed and didn't go back to sleep until 4:30 then up at 7:30. I guess being up for so long in the night tired her out enough to have a sleep in. She was really unsettled during the long wake up, crying and such All in all, not the worst night. I stupidly went to bed at 12:30 so I'm a little tired today

 

[MiniKiwi]

Noelle, so glad you had another good night. I hate when you miss a poo, makes you feel so awful, doesn't it? I remember when Mia was maybe 8 weeks old and I used to find her pooing and grunting so funny that I videoed it. Then I got ready and we went out and I forgot about the poo I just videoed! She was all fine but I remembered when we were out and hurried home to find her nappy a ripped up, pooey mess lmao! I almost cried over it hahaha!

Hoping your good nights continue

 

[stephj25]

sorry I haven't been on this thread for a bit, I haven't read the last few pages (and there are quite a few) since I last came in here so I'll look at the last page only!!

Jessica Tunnel, LibbyLou & bananaz - sounds like your LO's are doing well, yey!!!
Noelle - I know what you mean about the crying, I feel like my heart is on the verge of exploding if my LO cries for more than 5mins, not sure whether that is normal as a lot of my friends go down the 'cry it out' route....

MiniKiwi & Aimee. I'm kinda with you guys at the minute, some days Olivia will wake twice in the night, some days it's every 3 hours. Last night she woke up at 12am & 3am and wouldn't settle after nursing her at 3am. I waited until 4am and nursed her again. She finally fell back to sleep until 7:30, nursed her again and she woke at 9am after that.

If I had the same sort of night every night then I wouldn't really be so exhausted but because it differs every night I forget who I am in the morning!! Also realised that I'ved walked straight out of WW26 into WW37. oh the joys!

 

[MiniKiwi]

Ugh Steph! Those long wake ups are so awful aren't they?! I'm feeling much more positive now that I expect unpredictability, if you know what I mean? I'm not wondering why so much and just hoping for good nights. I hope you get a break soon!

 

[Larkspur]

Sounds like a few of the babies here have been on the improve! My LO is now down to two wakeups a night (from up to eight) so I am feeling pretty good!

It's funny how your expectations adjust. A friend whose baby is two days older than mine was horrified that my LO has been waking twice a night. Her baby has slept through virtually every night since he was 10 weeks old. Which is enough to make anyone insanely jealous. However... I don't know I feel about the fact that the reason he does that, as far as I can tell, is that she started sleep-training by CIO when he was four weeks old. For naps and bedtime, she just puts him down and shuts the door. Couldn't do that, myself.