Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[freddie]

Little lady, you would drop a nap by extending his awake times. They can get sleepy out of habit even if they don't need the sleep, so you likely would have to push through some tired signs at first. You'd know within a few days whether it was working better or not. We can come up with an approximate two-nap schedule for you. I think you said 3 naps of 60-90 minutes and bedtime at 7. What time is he up in the morning?

Rachel, that sounds like great progress on both SS and moving to his own space that was how we started working on SS with mine, and it didn't get him all the way there without tears but it did help. The 4:30-5 feed was the last one we dropped, and I know it was the same for Polaris (with her first) and others on this thread. It seems like they don't need that one as much, but the problem is that their drive to sleep is so much weaker at that time so there's a danger that they will just wake themselves up if they don't get to feed. If you don't feed him until 6:30-7, even if he wakes up earlier, then in the long run he probably will start sleeping through, but it is likely to be a longer process and in the meantime you have to deal with earlier mornings. But you know your baby's sleep habits best and can probably listen to your intuition on this. If you think he'd go back to sleep at 5, you may be right.

No I think you're totally right about the 5ish feed - I don't think he'd go back to sleep without it. We had another breakthrough last night... He slept for EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT!!!! He went down to bed at 7.30pm and not only had he not woken up before I went to bed but when he did wake up I looked at the clock and it was 3.45am!!! I literally couldn't believe it!! Unfortunately it then took an hour and a half and 2 feeds to resettlle him but I wasn't even bothered cos I was so happy about the first part of the night! We finally got him back to sleep at 5.15am and he woke for the day at 7.30am. That is by far the best night sleep he has ever had. I soooooo hope that it continues and we can just work on settling for one wake up. Oh my God that would be amazing... Okay must try not to get too excited as could just be a fluke but hopefully not!! After a year of averaging 5-10 wake ups I am praying that this is the start of a life as a human again rather than a sleep deprived zombie

 

[seaweed eater]

Hooray for good nights! Rachel that's wonderful!!

I need help with naps again. What do you guys think is the best of these options for a 12 month old:

1. 80-90 minute morning nap and short, irregular afternoon nap (anywhere from 10 to 45 minutes, and at very different times each day)
2. Two 30-45 minute naps around the same times each day
3. One 45-90 minute midday nap around the same time each day

We're doing #1 at the moment, and it seems to result in the most sleep overall but some days there's a very very long WT. Yesterday he napped 8:10-9:30 and then fought a nap all day at daycare and finally napped in the car 4:20-4:30. Bedtime was around 6:45 as usual and he was apparently fine in the afternoon, but that's not a great schedule. I'd appreciate any thoughts!

Hope everyone is doing well. Seems we are all busy, but please come back and update

 

[polaris]

We're on holiday in Wales at the moment, so sorry that I haven't been online much. Clara's sleep has actually been pretty good! I don't want to jinx myself but I do think that cutting out dairy has actually made a difference. She seems much less windy and she isn't waking up crying and uncomfortable in the same way as before. She's still waking 4+ times a night but returning to sleep easily after a quick feed - it's a big improvement on what she was previously doing. We are also firmly back on two naps for the moment, generally at about 9.30/10 for about an hour and then 2/2.30 for about 1.5 hours. In non-sleep news, she is signing a lot and has some words. It's so surprising to me that she already has a few words because Thomas didn't have any words until about 16 or 17 months and didn't really talk much until he was two. She loves signing and gets a real kick out of us understanding her. Yesterday at bedtime, I was saying to her and signing "now we'll have milkies and then we'll go to sleep" and she kept signing milk and sleep for about the next ten minutes but she was too excited about it to actually do either!

SE - I would probably try for option 2. I think the long wake times are not great even if they seem to cope with them fine - my (vague) understanding is that cortisol levels gradually rise the longer they are awake and this is dispersed by napping. I thought Clara was OK with one nap but she was getting progressively more cranky and a bit erratic over about a week so we've gone back to two naps for the moment. The problem that I have is that if she is only having one nap it has to be either early (10 a.m.) or late (1 p.m.) because we have pre-school pick-up at 12.30. I don't think she can make it through the whole morning to 1 p.m. or through the whole afternoon from 12 p.m. to bedtime without getting overtired so I'm sticking with two naps at the moment but waking her after 45 minutes or an hour from her morning nap. (Slightly OT but I have also gone back to daily naps with my almost four year old, he still just copes better with a nap even though it pushes bedtime late and he probably gets less sleep overall in a 24 hour period).

 

[stephie_corin]

SE I agree with Polaris - I would go for option 2.

Polaris that's interesting about cortisol levels! I'm glad cutting dairy (or whatever else might have helped) means more sleep for you guys! That's great!

We've been having quite a rough period. Cully caught a virus that was going around his nursery and he now has an ear infection again. Sleep has been abysmal but through the rough nights there's been a glimmer of hope. He's started to SS at times and last night he slept a three hour stretch at the start of the night!!! I'm also sensing that he is falling asleep differently. He doesn't seem to want so much rocking anymore.

 

[freddie]

Hooray for good nights! Rachel that's wonderful!!

I need help with naps again. What do you guys think is the best of these options for a 12 month old:

1. 80-90 minute morning nap and short, irregular afternoon nap (anywhere from 10 to 45 minutes, and at very different times each day)
2. Two 30-45 minute naps around the same times each day
3. One 45-90 minute midday nap around the same time each day

We're doing #1 at the moment, and it seems to result in the most sleep overall but some days there's a very very long WT. Yesterday he napped 8:10-9:30 and then fought a nap all day at daycare and finally napped in the car 4:20-4:30. Bedtime was around 6:45 as usual and he was apparently fine in the afternoon, but that's not a great schedule. I'd appreciate any thoughts!

Hope everyone is doing well. Seems we are all busy, but please come back and update

That's a tough one! On one hand I think it's good for them to have regular timed naps but on the other I guess it depends how well your LO copes with shorter naps? I know that my little man doesn't do great with a short morning nap, he gets pretty grumpy during the day if his morning nap was shorter than usual but seems to manage ok if his afternoon nap is shorter than usual.

So we didn't have the lovely eight hour stretch last night but he only woke up twice and only fed once at 12.30am... So still a very good night for him! Have been trying to figure out what we did to get that eight hour stretch of sleep lol but I know it is futile!!

 

[little_lady]

I've tried dropping Joel's third nap but he just starts screaming from overtiredness by the time it gets to 2.5 hours between naps, and I don't want to force it. I seem to remember my daughter was down to 2 naps by 6 months but I guess each child is different.

We've got night wakings down to two hourly now, which is better but still tiring. He seems to have forgotten how to self settle and needs me to rock his back or feed him to get him off again. It's funny, when he was 3 months old I thought I'd hit the sleep jackpot as he sttn 11 hours, self settled and napped four times a day for an hour each. His naps are still regular but his night sleep is really up the creek!

Don't know what else to try so might just have to suck it up

 

[NotNic]

How has everyone been? I'm hoping its been soo quiet because you all have lovely, sleeping babies?

 

[seaweed eater]

:wave: Fancy seeing this thread pop up again!

We are doing fine...naps are a bit of a mess right now due to 2-1 transition...nights are good, but mornings are very early (even earlier now that DST just ended. 3:45 this morning!!).

How are you, NotNic? How is everyone else?

 

[Emma&Freya]

Hi ladies, im up with my LO. She wont sleep and OH not helping

 

[gaiagirl]

Oh not much has changed here! Lol. We just got over a week of baby parties so at least that's behind us?!

Last night F was vomiting every time I laid him down soi rocked him upright from 4-7:40am. Good times!

Stilllllll waiting on my sttn

 

[NotNic]

We have finally seen some improvements. He mostly sttn now which I think has a lot to do with his teeth all being through now. We've both had a nasty cough and cold, so he has been a bit disturbed, but not too bad. He's still an early bird mind you, but more 6.30 now rather than 5.30. I've taken to leaving him in the cot if he wakes before. Most of the time he does cry if I don't go to him, but they don't last much longer than 5mins and I have the confidence now to let him call out to see if he'll go back to sleep or play for a bit. Can't believe I've been part of this thread for 9mths now and the solution was just WIO. Waiting until his flipping teeth came through! Fingers crossed you aren't all waiting that long!!

 

[gaiagirl]

Oh I have a feeling it'll be 18-24 months for us before things are really improved! Honestly that seems pretty average without any sleep training!

 

[NotNic]

Everyone told me a year, so I was getting a bit doubtful when that came and went. I still wonder if we should have sleep trained but F's problem weren't ever going to sleep, and his motn parties were very rare. He just woke up multiple times most nights, cried in his sleep and tended to practice everything while sleeping. I still catch him sitting up asleep! I fear he'd be a great sleepwalker!

 

[Meg26]

Im sorry to hear your having trouble. My son was also a terrible sleeper. Our four month sleep regression lasted six months! I knew nothing of sleep training and when i finally lost it and broke down crying in front of my hubby he knew he had to do something. He found a sleep consultant in our area and with a couple weeks of hard work and more tears my boy finally sleeps again. I sure hope you can figure it out sooner than later!

 

[polaris]

Notnic, that's great news that things have improved so much. How old is F now? I know he's a couple of months older than Clara so you are giving me hope!

Things are still much the same here. Clara has dropped to one nap. She is still waking up multiple times a night and we are still cosleeping full time. She is very badly affected by teething and is currently getting back teeth so things are particularly bad at the moment.

SE that sounds like a horribly early morning! The one good thing about Clara's sleep is that she generally sleeps until at least 7 (often later).

Gaiagirl - I will be pleasantly surprised/amazed if Clara is sleeping well by 2 years old - I suppose we can live in hope!!

 

[NotNic]

He's 17mths now. By far the oldest baby on the thread! If you remember he was a terrible teether - but all through now and so much better. Has Thomas had a birthday? Did we miss it?

 

[polaris]

Yes, well-remembered, Thomas was four at the end of October. He is totally settled into preschool now too and absolutely loves it. I can't believe how grown up he is getting. In a way it makes the ongoing sleep problems more bearable because it's a constant reminder that they are only babies for such a short time.

 

[NotNic]

Ah belated birthday wishes for Thomas! My niece turned 6 on the 27th Oct. A fun time for a birthday!

I have a funny feeling that Clara's just going to get it. That one day it'll be like a light switch and she'll sleep through without you doing anything different. How's her moving around? Is she full time walking now?

 

[polaris]

That's Thomas's birthday too! 27th October. It is a fab time for a birthday. It's usually around the mid-term break so he gets a week off school and then all the Halloween stuff too. He was soo into Halloween this year.

Wow it would be great if Clara just suddenly decided to sleep! She is walking for a few months now, actually she is running - she is very physical, much more so than Thomas would have been. She's really working on language at the moment too, I'm doing baby signing with her and she knows over 30 signs which I think is pretty amazing! She has a few words too. I do think teething is a big factor here too - so maybe when that finally settles down? She still only has 8 teeth through though, so we've a bit of a way to go.

 

[NotNic]

What a coincidence! Finlay had 7 teeth at 13.5mths and then got all 9 of the remainder baby ones by 16mths. He came back from our holiday in Spain with a molar and a bottom tooth (in that order) and then it just snowballed. He didnt grow very much at all during that time though. All his efforts were on his teeth

Clara's doing brilliantly with her milestones. You must be so proud of her x