Rational thinkers needed

[Kiki1993]

So close to setting a date but not sure what to do for the best!
The closest date we could pick is Dec 2015 because by 6 months i will have finshed my course. But not sure if we should wait until i work full time again, i plan on being a SAHM for the first 5 years so it isnt like i would go back to working anyway, probably just part time like i work now which is only 10 hours a week. Not sure what to do for the best, everyone keeps saying "your still young" etc and yes i aam aware, (will 22 when pregnant and 23 by brith if we do next dec) but i have been wanting a baby since i was 16! ... ever since i was a kid i wanted to be a mum and i never really had a dream job except being a mum.
I need someone from outside my life to either knock sense into me or confirm it isn't a crazy idea.
We have 2 plans - 1. trying in Dec 2015, will receive mat allowance and would finish my course in the june when i would be approx 6 months along. OH earn enough to pay the bills and have a minimum of 100 pound a month left over. Not including my maternity allowance and any other money i get. We have 2 spare rooms. and he also gets loads of opportunities to do overtime (has worked the last 3/4 sats and 2/4 sundays and then a few 10 hour shifts)
OR
Trying Dec 2016 when i will have been in a full time job and get maternity pay, i wont be returning to the job after mat leave and money would be the same after mat leave as above plan.

Not sure whether to follow heart or head.... OH said so long as im finished college before baby is born he is fine with whatever i choose, any advice. What plan sounds best? I like plan one because it means we have our baby sooner and we will get by fine financially, but plan 2 although i have longer to wait the first 9 months we would get a bit extra money which might help us book a family holiday or something... because our rent and bills are relatively cheap OH wage is fine to live on and my friend who has an OH that gets less than my OH - they have a son, there rent is 200 more than ours a month and they get by fine with no help too.... opinions?

 

[sherwood]

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[callmedan]

from your post it seems you have already made up your mind and you want to do Dec 2015 but you feel that 2016 could be a more sensible option...
is there nothing you and your OH would love to do? like a massive blow out holiday where you spend loads on just you? if so I would wait, you are still young and I know its boring to hear (Im 23 and been waiting for what feels like forever!) but it really is worth considering as you and OH are still a couple and its kind of nice to be selfish while you still can
it is entirely up to you and your OH, maybe make a list of pros and cons? or you could always flip a coin

 

[Kiki1993]

Lol flipping a coin sounds good I would quite like to be a counselor, help children fo drug users etc, i did childcare for a while and might go back to that one day, i work with people with Additional support needs but think once my contract is over i might try broaden prospects, i enjoy my job but its not something i can do when im older i think - it is a lot of physical tasks.
Right now im doing social science which can help me be a counselor but it is hard to get jobs in that field, i want a baby but i guess there are a few things we could do to fill the time - i just dont want to wish my life away which is what im doing because i jsut want a baby!
We would like to get married but cant justify spending 5000 on one day, we consider eloping but i cant not have family there, we want to go on a few holidays, enjoy time with my nephew ... i get so broody at times and my heart wants a baby but i know i should wait at least until i finish the hnd i need to follow my head i guess for now, if i followed my heart i would have like 10 kids right now
i guess a way to make my broodyness stay at bay would be booking holidays, focus on my course, book more holidays we are booking a long weekend at a cabin with my nephew in april, and if we can afford it portugal in july ... i know when i will crack... dec 2015... when i will be finished the coursee befor ebaby comes so will need to try save and books something big to stop myself trying then ... if we can affod it florida! and that way i cant get pregnant, will have something to be excited about and then hopefully i get a full time job quickly i think i will, i have never struggled to find work so far (touch wood) and interviewers have said i present myself well ... i would apply for jobs in counselling, helping chidren of addicts, domestic abuse victims, counselling etc and hopefully would get one by the sept so i could try after that We kinda want to be married but it isnt that important to us, doesnt change our relationship but would be nice to be "married" who knows, i think if we were to get married we would do a late day wedding and go straight into an evening reception... i just hope no one sees that as tacky

 

[Buffyx]

If it makes it any easier - my husband and I just got married in August, and we spent around $20,000 (AUS) on our day. Honestly, it was worth every cent, and I'm glad we did it.

I'm kind of agreeing with previous posters. I think it would be logical to wait until 2016, but sometimes logic doesn't seem logical when you're desperately wanting something

 

[sherwood]

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[WhiteKhocol8]

I'm inclined to agree - we had an 'inexpensive' wedding - AU$15,000 with 120 people. Best day of both our lives so far.

I hate waiting too so I totally get where you are coming from. BUT I have enjoyed the time with my husband just us two. I'll keep on enjoying it for as long as we have it, too! It will make that magic day when we do finally have a third in our family that much sweeter.

Good luck with your studies! I will be hopefully finishing mine at around the same time.

 

[SpringCrane]

We had a similar dilemma when we were TTC our son. This was our situation: I was due to finish my masters soon, my husband had a great job, we had just bought a house in an expensive area, I wanted to be a SAHM post-baby, and my current job didn't lend itself to a lot of savings. Three months into trying, I began to panic and decided I wanted to wait until I had held a better paying job for a year or two to build up our savings. Turns out I was actually already pregnant when I decided that, so we stuck with the original plan! I ended up being offered a great part-time work-from-home job that I started when my son was 6 weeks old. I'm so glad I didn't get the chance to talk myself out of trying because I wouldn't have the amazing son I have today. Sure, we'd like more in our savings, but our original plan was feasible financially, so we're OK.

As for the wedding thing... we paid for our wedding ourselves, and we spent about $4,000 USD for a small outdoor event (50 people). We did everything ourselves but the food. It was a very special day, but I would never in a million years want to spend more than that on a single day. I've loved all the weddings I've been to that were much more extravagant, and I'm happy for those that choose that route, but don't think you need to spend $$$ to have a very special day.

 

[callmedan]

Me and my oh went to Florida in May (for the 3rd time were obsessed!) and were gonna TTC after that but we got engaged there so decided to put TTC back a year to get married this May
Would 1000% recommend going to Florida as your last baby free holiday! Can be such a romantic place to really have a blow out and just enjoy each other's company

 

[NovemberSnow]

If it were me I would probably wait until 2016 because I think I would like the extra security of having worked for a year. I think it's helpful to have some full time work experience just in case. It's a personal choice though, and it sounds like you'd be fine either way.

Also I know you kind of mentioned this but isn't statutory maternity pay quite a lot more than maternity allowance? You said your DH makes enough to pay the bills but it might be nice to have the extra money.

I don't think smaller, cheaper weddings are tacky at all - they can be every bit as romantic!

 

[Kiki1993]

Yeah we will definitely be waiting, just gets so hard at times! We now have decorated half the house, i'm going to be finishing after hnd i think and then try get a job as a counselor or something in that field. We would love to get married in 2016, will need to see how we do financially.