Really confused as to whether to BF or FF

[MidnightSun]

I have always wanted to breast feed, especially to have that special bond with my baby.

But I am doing this on my own and I am really worried by what a friend said to me, in that she breast feeds her baby about every hour and has done since she can remember (baby is now 6 months)...

Well I am worried enough about how I will cope on my own, but I seriously cannot imagine feeding every hour!

I know that I will get help from friends and family, but they are concerned at me bfing exclusively is going to wear me out.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do for the best?

Thanks

 

[bky]

I'll break down a short list of pros and cons based on time, expense and problems
Breast feeding: The first 6 weeks (maybe more) will involve a lot of feeding. After the 6 week growth spurt it may be smooth up until 3-4 months where there are more growth spurts. Breast feeding (when going normally) can involve a lot of initial time investment up front for something that should be easier down the line. Problems with breast feeding are likely to be more expensive to the tune of pumps, bottles, professional help etc. Learning to safely co-sleep will help you get through the early cluster feeds.
The bf section can probably give you tips on handling and preparing for cluster feeds.

Your friend's hourly feeds seem a little extreme at that age. It may be a 5 minute feed every hour, as usually by that age feeds are much shorter than they were initially.

FF: The amount of time investment stays pretty constant, though over time FF babies may take larger volumes and eat somewhat less often than a BF baby (this is highly variable). In early days you should still expect feeds every 2 hours or so, and this means bottles which need to be washed, water to be sterilized etc. You'll find tips and tricks for making it easier, pre-making bottles or sterile water etc. You may have problems finding a bottle that suits, or a formula. So expense wise for problems, new sets of bottles, teats, formula.

 

[Dragonfly]

I cant speak for formula having never used it on my own but I have been breatsfeeding for 22 months now and now tantum feeding. I enjoy it but wasnt always fun but very well worth it. You could try it and see how it goes for you as its up to you at the end of the day. I isnt all doom and gloom my friends can put you off I heard plenty of it but knew its what me and my baby wanted.

 

[a_c]

Try breastfeeding & see how it goes, I think it's best just to see how it goes & how you & baby feel. It's hard to plan such a thing as breastfeeding as you just don't know how you'll find it.

 

[bathbabe]

if your not sure try BF first, then if it doesnt work out or it just isnt for you then switch to FF. Even if you BF for 2hours/2weeks/2months/ a year, whatever, in the majority of cases the switch to FF is quite straight forward. Only you can decide dont be pushed into either method unless YOU want to do it. X

 

[MidnightSun]

Thanks so much for your replies, and that fantastic post BK.

I would love to BF, I just don't want to feel like I am doing it all day long, if you see what I mean?

I know a newborn will feed roughly every 2 hours even with FF, but that doesn't last for that long before they are onto three hours does it?

I guess I will just have to give it a go and see what happens, for all I know baby might go 2 hours, in which case that is fine, but on the hour I just don't think I could cope with as well as trying to run a house and do things alone.

I just don't want to be a failure

 

[Dragonfly]

feeding often isnt as bad as you think, it becomes a pleasure seeing how you are growing your baby with your milk.

 

[angel2010]

if your not sure try BF first, then if it doesnt work out or it just isnt for you then switch to FF. Even if you BF for 2hours/2weeks/2months/ a year, whatever, in the majority of cases the switch to FF is quite straight forward. Only you can decide dont be pushed into either method unless YOU want to do it. X

^^^WSS.

 

[a_c]

Not to scare you but some babies want it every 15 mins! You will
just have to wait & see unfortunately.

 

[Shwhattam+1]

I don't understand not BF because it may take more of your time? Regardless of being on your own or not, it's the best choice for your baby (this is not debatable) and even if you had a partner and chose to BF you'd be doing the feedings anyways.

If you want to FF in the hopes that it will mean less time feeding your baby, that's a choice you'll have to make but it isn't one I would recommend.

 

[MidnightSun]

It's quite to easy to understand really... I cannot be feeding for 20-30 mins out of every hour every day when I am on my own because I simply will be dead on my feet and my house will be completely arse uppards.

Who will do the washing? The hoovering? Change the bed? I don't have a partner that might do these things for me as he wants nothing to do with this baby, so on the other hand he won't be here to do a feed if I have expressed if I am doing housework.

This baby is going to be completely reliant on me, and I don't want to be like an absolute gibbering idiot because I am trying to do 'everything' as well as look after my little one like it deserves to be... though of course I realise that BF is the best thing for my baby, I have always thought I would BF until I had the chat with my friend about exactly how often she does feed.

A friend has suggested combined feeding and I think this might be the answer I am looking for, where my baby gets the benefits of breast milk but also isn't permanantly on my breast.

 

[Dragonfly]

I breastfeed all day long and manage the house work. Slings are handy things and if you have a partner who chips in thats handy to,. I am feeding right now and eating for myself while typing here. I havnt turned into a gibbering wreak and I am breastfeeding two here. I understand though some have work and such that cant do that but I can and do that and its not hell for me.

 

[OmarsMum]

Hi hun. Give bfing a try hun & see how it goes. It might go perfectly for you. If it doesnt work try combi feeding or ffing, but please dont feel guilty about whatever choice you make. A happy mommy = a happy baby.

 

[newmommy23]

don't know about ff but I am bf and I end up feeding Molly about every 2-4 hours....and she eats for like 20 min max. It can be a bit overwhelming though as some days you end up feeling like a dairy cow lol. I love the bonding though!

 

[gemabee]

hey hun i'm single nd bf'ing... its really hard at the min cos he's still cluster feedin.
my housework as fallen by the way-side nd i occassionally forget to eat... but i do get my family to help out (take my washin / make me casseroles / etc)... i have started givin finn one bottle of formula before bed - this helps him go for 4/5 hours on a night... it works for us but may not work for everyone nd i do express to ensure it doesn't affect my supply... but that extra sleep really helps.
try bf'ing first... take it one feed nd then one day at a time... do whatever u think is right for u nd ur baby... even if u only manage a couple of days / weeks of bf'ing... u'll know u did ur best nd thats all that matters
xx

 

[bathbabe]

I don't understand not BF because it may take more of your time? Regardless of being on your own or not, it's the best choice for your baby (this is not debatable) and even if you had a partner and chose to BF you'd be doing the feedings anyways.

If you want to FF in the hopes that it will mean less time feeding your baby, that's a choice you'll have to make but it isn't one I would recommend.

She was asking for help not to be judged. What does it matter what her choices or reasons would be? She is the one that has to deal with it day to day (or hour by hour). It has to be the right choice for HER. Im all for BF if thats what you want to do, but not at the expense of feeling miserable because you feel like you cant do anything else. Just my thoughts tho

 

[gemabee]

I don't understand not BF because it may take more of your time? Regardless of being on your own or not, it's the best choice for your baby (this is not debatable) and even if you had a partner and chose to BF you'd be doing the feedings anyways.

If you want to FF in the hopes that it will mean less time feeding your baby, that's a choice you'll have to make but it isn't one I would recommend.

She was asking for help not to be judged. What does it matter what her choices or reasons would be? She is the one that has to deal with it day to day (or hour by hour). It has to be the right choice for HER. Im all for BF if thats what you want to do, but not at the expense of feeling miserable because you feel like you cant do anything else. Just my thoughts tho

i have been strugglin to bf nd instead of gettin support in the bf section i jus got judged... so i no longer post there.
(this isn't to say that everyone in that section does this... but there are a fair few!).

 

[bathbabe]

Im sorry they judged you gemabee. Unfortunatly the issue of BF v FF will never be discussed on here without someone being judged, its sad that some people think you HAVE to do it their way otherwise you should be outcasted. X

 

[MidnightSun]

Thanks for all your support, not too sure what I am going to do at the moment, play it by ear I guess!

I just want my little one to have the best really... and if that means combo feeding and a mother who's got lots of energy as opposed to a zombie then that's what it'll be Do appreciate your input though (well... most of it )

x x

 

[Nic1107]

When Carmen was little she FF every hour for a while too! lol That was a nightmare... washing, preparing, feeding, re-washing constantly to have a bottle made up every hour. I would have loved to be able to just pop out a boob! Whichever choice you make, if you feel you want to give BF a shot then it's important to try it first- after all, you can always switch to FF if you want but going from FF to BF is much, much harder. Good luck hun, either way you'll do fine and those days go by sooo fast. xx