Really don't like my midwife!

[Leo_Mumma]

I spoke to my midwife for the first time the other day and had expressed that I didn't want to be treated at a particular local hospital and had asked about my options. She told me on the phone that I was being "neurotic" and that they were short staffed. I ended up finishing the conversation tearful and she asked me if I had depression! ( that was the first time I've cried in about 4 years!)

Although I was hesitant I went for my first appointment today and left feeling very bad about myself and upset. She made it very clear that she didn't believe me when I told her I hadn't suffered with any mental health issues, was completely shocked when I told her I had a partner and my baby was planned. She told me that if I lost weight I'd be "perfect" and in her words that I should "lay off the cakes" she also told me that if I did gain an excess amount of weight that I wouldn't be able to continue my treatment there and just went on and on about my weight. I am 5'5 and weigh 12'10. I am a size 14 and have a. I horse ride and work on a farm. Have 2 massive dogs who require hours exercise a day and consider myself fit.

I'm feeling crap about myself now. I really don't want to see her again. This is my first baby and she's freaked me out about diabetes and preeclampsia!

I really want to change but don't know if I'm allowed too. Has anybody else had a midwife that thy didn't get with? Shall I stick it out?

 

[orangedaisy]

Holy crap, I would do everything in my power to change providers immediately! Don't put yourself through that for 9-10 months!!

 

[Mummylou23]

Ring and change ASAP huni ring first thing MONDAY she has no right to speak to you in this manner I would also make complaint xx

 

[misscyn]

I agree you should run. She's the one with mental issues!

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Oh my goodness, what a witch!!! I agree with the other ladies--no way I would ever see her again. She sounds miserable and incompetent. I'm sure you are perfectly healthy, and will have a wonderful pregnancy. I hope you find a different, caring provider ASAP!!!

 

[mayacat]

Dump her. You have to be able to trust tour midwife throughout the pregnancy and 6 weeks after. This one sounds like a piece of work.

 

[CassieSims]

If she had spoken to me like that I would have smacked her and said "On second though, I do have mental issues, I suffer from blackouts caused by anger and usually end up hurting terrible midwives."

But that's just me and my hormones today!

Switch immediately!!

 

[Mummy to be x]

You have every right to change your midwife, I'm sorry, but what a cheeky cow! She had no right in speaking to you that way, certainly change your MW I'm sure if you ring your local surgery or something they will be able to explain how you go about that.

Sorry you've been made to feel this way

 

[cncem]

Heck no you shouldn't stick with her!! Call ins and change mw's if you have to, but find another provider. She should not be awarded for her mental abuse by having you as a patient. You should not be made to feel bad about anything, pregnancy is a beautiful, fun, happy time. I'm disgusted by her behavior. It's a wonder she has any patients at all.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

If she had spoken to me like that I would have smacked her and said "On second though, I do have mental issues, I suffer from blackouts caused by anger and usually end up hurting terrible midwives."

But that's just me and my hormones today!

Switch immediately!!

Lol this may be the perfect response.

 

[Luvspnk31]

If she had spoken to me like that I would have smacked her and said "On second though, I do have mental issues, I suffer from blackouts caused by anger and usually end up hurting terrible midwives."

But that's just me and my hormones today!

Switch immediately!!

Lol this may be the perfect response.

Omg, lmao!!! I don't know, but I keep reading the same sort of thing about these midwives in the UK. They seem to have a great lack of tact in how they talk to the " more to love " ladies. I'm plus sized, on baby #5 (7 pg's) on my 5 th dr, ( long story) and all ANY of my Drs have said was " because of your weight, I want you to try not to gain too much." I thought that was completely reasonable.

If I was you, I'd dump her. You shouldn't be made to feel bad, or like something is wrong with you. For pity sake, YOU'RE PG! of course you're going to be more emotional! Ask her if she's ever met a pg woman before! Lol

 

[Leo_Mumma]

Glad it's not just me that thinks she's crazy! I thought she might have been right for a second and I was just really sensitive. I'm putting I'm a complaint Monday and getting a new midwife.

Kinda wish I had said that now cassie lol!!