QuietAshley
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- Joined
- Feb 7, 2015
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My name is Ash. I just got out of a 5 and a half year relationship with a guy that was slightly abusive. I'm 20 years old. I went to my doctor for having issues with nausea, visual impairment and joint paint. They ran a slew of blood tests and found that I have an autoimmune disorder... and also... Im 6 weeks pregnant almost 7. I'm not ready for a baby. I was on depo but something went wrong and I ended up pregnant anyway. They want me to come back in for an ultrasound this time next week. I'm going to tell the guy today. Idk how he will react. He is already seeing someone else even though we've only been apart a month. But I know if I had to be I could be strong enough to raise my baby on my own. But i'm not ready. Even worse. The doctor said that since my auto immune disorder is in a horrible flare up right now there is a really high chance to lose the pregnancy any day now. Im stuck between a rock and hard place and Im so happy and crushed at the same time. I don't want a baby yet, but now that I'm pregnant I dont want to loose it. I feel so guilty that I secretly wish something were to happy and at the same time im praying it wont. Idk if its the hormones and my fear. I'm just so frightened. I dont know what to think or do anymore.