Really need advice :(

[Mummytoobeexx]

Long story short,
Split with ex, few weeks later found out i was pregnant, told him he's not too interested, never gets intouch too see how i am, not spoke to him in a few week! He's in a new realionship which she knows im pregnant and think she may have had a say in it because i no he wouldnt be behaving like this otherwise. not sure what to do about this feel so alone any advice? im 8 and half weeks pregnant.

 

[mamashakesit]

I just went through this over the last year. If he's going to let her tell him he can't be in contact with the mother of his forthcoming child, then his head is out of the game. From someone who gave her FOB every chance in the world to be a father, trust me, it's better to be alone NOW instead of battling him a year later over his same old lack of responsibility. Stay tough. Good luck.

 

[AbbynChloe]

I completely agree with Mamashakesit - if he doesn't want to be involved and interested now, it's not likely he'll ever be - trust me after nearly 3 years of THAT argument, i can't believe I wasted so much time!

You can't make them be daddies!!

 

[Mummytoobeexx]

yes maybe your both right but its not like hes going to be a first time dad, he has an child, supports and see's him regular!

 

[oaklvr]

He's just blowing smoke up this new chicks @ss. Let it settle down. He's gonna have to pay up whether he likes it or not.

 

[Surreal]

yes maybe your both right but its not like hes going to be a first time dad, he has an child, supports and see's him regular!

He might take involvement later, he might not... either way, his choices now means that he's out of the picture. This is *you* and *your baby*. He wants to step away, that's his loss.

My FOB did the same thing, when I was around 12 weeks. He has children with the woman he's with, and in fact they just had another child... he's had no involvement whatsoever with my little boy. It's his loss that he has no involvement with my son -- and my gain! I don't have to put up with his or his woman's bullsh*t! (And believe me, she gave me tons, when I was pregnant, and tried to make things work...)

If you can avoid the stress, all the better, imho.

 

[purpledahlia]

I agree, i wasted too much time and energy giving him chances he didnt deserve or need, its better to just prepare to go it alone and set up for you and your child. less stress the better, let FOB come to you x

 

[teal]

I agree about preparing to be a single mother rather than waiting on him changing his mind. My ex broke up with me when I told him I was pregnant and I've not seen in almost 2 years xx

 

[whoops]

You can't force someone to be a father, unfortunately. I'm learning that the hard way. Let him know he has a financial responsibility when your LO gets here and then step back. If he wants to get more involved, he will and if not, then it's his loss.

Much easier said than done, but for your own sanity, you're best off preparing for the 'worst'. The hardest times I've had in the past year have been when I'm in touch with FOB and I start to hope he'll get involved - when it's just me and Lily, I do fine.