Really Need to VENT!!

[Terri1980]

I woke up this morning to get ready for work and lo and behold, AF had arrived. @#$@%%!!!! I am feeling so devastated and angry today. I had hoped and prayed so hard that we would be pregnant soon after the miscarriage. Now it's been over 3 months and it just feels like the pain is never going to end. I started crying in the bathroom this morning because it felt like I was miscarrying all over again. I called in sick to work today....

I am a good person... a patient, kind, caring, funny, active and responsible person... I would be a GREAT mother. I am MEANT to be a MOM. I can't stand seeing other women having children who, in my opinion, don't deserve them! Women who are irresponsible and want babies for their own selfish reasons. Women who are trying to have babies just to prove something. Women who are in unstable relationships and are trying to have a baby to hold on to their man. Women who drink, use drugs, or otherwise treat their bodies horribly while pregnant. Women who abuse their kids or treat them like they are some kind of burden. It all just makes me want to scream!!!

I was completely responsible in my decision to have a baby... I've wanted a baby since I was 18 years old, but I waited until I was married to a great guy who treats me like a queen, finished college, had a stable career, owned a home, etc. so that I had a solid base I could offer my children. I'm 30 years old.. started trying when I was 29. I waited patiently to try conceiving until I KNEW I could properly provide for a child. And yet I see all these young girls having children left and right because of their own selfish reasons. It's so fricken ridiculous and completely unfair!!

NEWSFLASH GIRLS: babies need more than just LOVE. Babies need structure, they need security, they need food and diapers and medicines and trips to the hospital and clothes, they need a positive male role model, they need a mother free of drugs and alcohol who can be focused and attentive to their needs, they need consistency and boundaries, they need 24/7 care, they need patience and maturity, they need parents who don't fight all the time and can stay calm in times of crisis..... "LOVE" is the easy part ASSHOLES! And if you think that having a baby means that you'll have something that loves you unconditionally forever, think again! It's YOUR job to love them, and they will take and take and take from you with few signs of appreciation. Being a parent is about not expecting anything in return or getting the love back, it is a THANKLESS JOB... but one I can't wait to have.

Today, I'm allowing myself to be angry. If anyone is still reading this, thank you for letting me vent...

 

[Starry Night]

This is the place to vent. It's better to let it out in a safe place than bottle it up inside.

 

[vickyd]

Aww honey its hard for us who wanted everything to be perfect for our little ones, only to go through one or more losses. I have two angel babies and at the same time women i know who are totally unfit to be mums had their babies no problem. Its important to not hold on to the negativity though, it can take you to a dark place which is difficult to get out of. Just think that you will soon have a LO of your own!

 

[Kaylakin]

Terri,
Don't feel bad about venting -- this is the place to do it! Your time will come, and then you will appreciate it that much more! It sounds like you will be a great mom. I am in the same situation as you.. I'm 30 now, and waited until I was 29 to TTC. I had a mc in march and have been trying since. Each month when I know I'm not pg but I'm waiting for af is the worst and I'm in the worst place emotionally. We will get there! You are off to a fresh start this month so good luck to you... It is such a high and low of emotions, and then with the hope each month..then the crushing feeling when it is not the month.. I know how you feel, and hang in there..

 

[PTwannabe]

First, sorry for your lost. Second, glad you were able to vent. I totally agree with you!!! That's partly why I have a place in my heart that really wants to adopt... because it's not the poor kid's fault their parents are irresponsible. Hang in there! Hope you feel better soon.

 

[wannabe mam]

Hi Terri, I hope you feel better after venting on here, it is the best place to do it! As you know this has happened to me as you have replied to my post having a rant about my AF arriving! Its been 6 months for me and each month I should have learnt from the previous one that I am not pregnant but like you I feel convinced and get excited. I know your pain, it is heart breaking each time. My AF began brownish and I was even convinced it was a late implantation bleed, how stupid am I! Well its increased to a heavy flow and last night in bed I was crying and had to get up so I didnt wake my partner up. It is comforting knowing that others on here understand. Good luck xxx

 

[Serene123]

It's been 9 months since my last MC I feel your pain!!

 

[Lucy1973]

I totally feel your pain. I too waited and was responsible until I had the right guy, the circumstances in which to bring up a child, and I got 2 MC's. When ever I go to the shops, there are teen mums everywhere, I even saw a young mum smoking the other day she was 7 months preg too, so no it's not fair. I think all we can do is know that WHEN we have our babies, because we will, that they will be very blessed and lucky to have us as mums. Hang in there, it WILL happen for you, unfortunately mother nature can be very cruel to women TTC.

 

[Starry Night]

Ever since my mc my PMS symptoms have pretty much mirrored my pregnancy symptoms--right up to a stuffy nose, metallic tastes, coffee & tea aversions and heart burn. It's terrible! And each month I hope it's my month but my body still isn't back to normal yet so when AF shows up on CD18 to CD21 and then lasts for 10 days I just get angry and depressed.

I don't know too many unfit mothers but I do think I would be just as "fit" as the ones I know.

 

[summerbreeze8]

I completely agree with you! I also waited and got married and sorted my career before trying and now nearly a year later and coming up to 32 I do get so annoyed with people who are unfit mothers, people who fall pregnant accidentally, people who moan about their kids or about being pregnant. It should be us who are having babies! This is my first month trying after mc but it took us so long before that I'm not confident about it happening again quickly for us. Hang in there hun, there are a few of us in the same situation, doesn't always make it easy tho.

 

[zelda]

I feel the s ame, I am a lot older the 30 (36), I know i am an older women but i wanted to be in a stable caring relationship rather than the alternatives. Now i feel like im being punished for meeting my husband when I was 34. I feel so mad that I lost my baby when there people I know who got pregnant by accident still have theirs.It just isnt fair.

 

[GlasgowGal]

Feel free to vent as much as you like, any day of the week. I feel exactly the same way. I feel sick to the stomach when i see pregnant women drinking or smoking and parents talking about their children, like having them ruined their lives - don't even get me started.

I hope we all get our much deserved BPFs soon, ladies!

 

[Terri1980]

Thanks for all of the responses ladies... I felt much better after venting it out. I'm not generally an angry person at all, but I was really just having a bad day. Sometimes the sadness of it all just becomes so overwhelming. But I'm tying to stay positive!!

 

[Lucia]

I am glad you're feeling better Terri. I waited too in order to have stability and be able to provide for a child and I've had 2 mcs now...I have thought many of the same things you outlined in your vent. You're definitely not alone on this.