Really upset I need some help please

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by sandrass, Dec 20, 2009.

  1. sandrass

    sandrass Beautiful daughter Alessa

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    OK I will prob be deleting this thread if possible in a little while...cuz i dont really want to be posting this on the net but I really need some help right now

    Long story short, my husband got very upset and broke the door at the bank ( he is not violent no worries!) and then he got upset and basically told me he thinks daily about wanting to kill himself. And I really dont think he was lying.

    So now a few worries...is the bank gonna watch the tapes and will he be in shit now? And of course...I dont want to lose my husband he means so much to me! I love him more than anyone else in the world and he is really the best person ever...

    Please I need help I cant stop crying...

    I feel so useless I cant make him feel better.
     
  2. Gypsy_Punk

    Gypsy_Punk Mummy to 3 angels

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    Hi hun I am sorry to hear you feel so awful about it. Please stop crying and calm down.

    All I suggest is you both try calm down, get sleep and talk about it in the morning when his mood will be better...maybe suggest a counsellor/doctor to find out the route of why he feels so low?

    I am not sure if the bank will check the tapes, I think windows/doors etc must get broken all the time if a bank is near pubs/clubs/drunken people on nights out etc.

    Big hugs

    xxx
     
  3. Shady_R

    Shady_R Mum of 3 boys and 1 girl

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    I agree get some sleep both of you and talk about seeing a dr who can refer you to the right people very quickly. Im sure that if will be ok as far as the broken door goes, if they do pursue it i doubt much will happen at all. Keep your chin up hun we are here for you if you ever need to talk. Pm if you ever need to. Huge hugs too.
     
  4. maybebaby3

    maybebaby3 Proud mum of 4!

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    i dont know what 2 say but didnt want 2 read and run! if he as no previous record he'l prob get off with a caution i would have thougt if they do check the tapes :hugs: i'm sure all will urn out ok xxx
     
  5. mummy_em

    mummy_em 2 boys 2 girls perfect

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    i did not want to read and run either hun speaking to a doc seems like a good next step but i know that is all ways a lot easier said than done i really hope u get it all sorted and please try not to worry your self silly big:hugs: em xx
     
  6. littledemonme

    littledemonme Well-Known Member

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    Don't worry about the situation with work, if he can be honest with his manager it willl make things a lot easier but I guess for a man holding your hands up to something like that will be incredibly hard, but you will be amazed how sympathetic they'll be - it's a door for gods sake, they too will be more worried about the health of their employee. If he'll agree, get him to a dr who can assess him and either medicate or refer you quickly - quickly may be a contradiction in terms given it's Christmas, even people who have attempted suicide can have to wait quite a while for counselling - but at least you'll both feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel.
    If he won't agree to go to the dr's phone the Samaritans - they will know what to do next.
    I know you may not believe this but sweetie your lucky in a bizarre way, people who genuinely want to die rarely talk about it and just go ahead and kill themselves. He's told you he's upset which means he's asking for help which is a really good sign.
    My thoughts are with you all lovely.:hugs::hugs:
     
  7. Bee26

    Bee26 Mummy to Charlie bear!

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    Sorry to hear your having a tough time hun...I think he should be honest, offer to pay for the damage and although they may want to take it further at least hes been upfront about it. As for his thoughts re taking his life....I should imagine hes finding the prospect of being a dad daunting, scary...and hes probably frightened he will be no good at it....my OH has loads of nieces and nephews and is amazing with kids, has changed countles nappies and done all the baby stuff before...but...he siad to me the other day hes worried he will hold our little man and have a panic attack (he used to getthem when he was younger). What Im trying to say is that sometimes I think us girls forget how emotional pregnancy can eb for our men too and he needs someone he can go and talk to. I really hope everything works out for you. xxx
     
  8. Lara310809

    Lara310809 Mum of 3 girls

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    I don't know about the bank, but about his depression, I have been in that situation, and the best thing anyone did for me is listen to me and be there for me. It took me a while to snap out of it, and I had to quit college to be able to do so. I got there though, and I'm now happier than I've ever been. You can go through crap in your life, but I find that things always work themselves out.

    I really hope your husband is okay. If you can talk to him, and perhaps ask that he talks to a professional, perhaps put him on antidepressants and just be there for him. It's a hard time on everyone, but it's worth the fight.
     
  9. daisyfflur

    daisyfflur Well-Known Member

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    Sadly you can't just snap out of being depressed and thoughts of killing yourself are very symptomatic. I would suggest he gets an appointment with the doctor this week and go from there, they will be in the best position to help him. Please make sure he does this, depression is incredibly common and nothing to be embarrassed of and having a good life, job etc doesn't mean you can't also be depressed.

    Good luck!
     
  10. sandrass

    sandrass Beautiful daughter Alessa

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    hey everyone, thank you for your help.

    He seems to be quite a bit better today. He is also talking about talking to his doctor which is good. I know some of the causes of his depression, deeply routed from childhood so I am glad he is finally admitting he may need help. I too have delt with depression in the past so I do somewhat understand.

    As for the bank... I guess we can just hope they don't look through their tapes. He didnt break the glass or anything just kicked the door open hard and the hinge thing at the top that makes the door stay closed came off making the door fly open.

    All started because we had a rough day and he had accidentally left a large sum of money in the bank machine. After remembering we rushed back but of course it was too late and someone had taken it.
     

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