Skywalker
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- Sep 28, 2012
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Hi Ladies,
I just wanted to make a post to reassure some of you because I just recently started posting in here and had been here last year when I was pregnant with my son, and I noticed then the same thing I do now, which is that the first trimester board is littered with posts from nervous, worried ladies.
As someone who had a miscarriage at 8 weeks before the conception of my son, who I then carried to term, I've been on both ends, and the first trimester with my son was SO nerve-wracking because just months before conceiving him, I had experienced an unexpected pregnancy followed by an unexpected miscarriage.
Now, I got a faint BFP, so I'm tentatively assuming I'm pregnant. I haven't confirmed it yet so I haven't officially introduced myself here yet, but regardless of whether or not i am, I just wanted to share my thoughts on this with you ladies, because this time around, I don't feel nervous. I know what it is like to experience the grief and heartbreak and physical ordeal of miscarriage and to then worry over every little twinge, drop of blood, or cramp in the first trimester following that, but I also know what it's like to give birth to a baby at full term.
Giving birth to my son sort of made me look at the miscarriage in a much different way and somehow the fear went away. I realized that he was meant to be my son and enter my life, and me his, and the baby before, for whatever reason, I may never know, wasn't. I suddenly could be so at peace in that knowledge. Before, I was thinking "Oh, my god! What did I do wrong? Was it this thing that I did when I didn't know I was pregnant? Was it that thing? Will I ever be able to carry a baby to term?" The guilt and the worry was all-consuming. But I realized that the reason I miscarried will never be something I can know unless it was something super obvious like I was exposed to like freaking gamma rays or something crazy lol. It could be that the embryo didn't attach right, it could be that there was some chromosomal problem with that particular pregnancy. It could have been a million million things, none of which I had control over.
So I just want to give all you worried ladies a hug, and say if you're one of the worried ladies, especially if you are going to be a first-time mom and have had one or more miscarriages already, just hang in there. I had every bad cramp, I even had scary bleeding in my second trimester with my son, and we made it through okay. It is so easy to lose yourself in the worry and I know that the first trimester can be so incredibly nerve-wracking when you start to look online about percentages and statistics and whatnot but don't pay attention to that. Hold on to the belief and the knowledge that your body was built to do this and that while bad things are always a possibility, hell, you could step outside and randomly get struck by lightning, GOOD things are also always a possibility, and you could just be worrying for nothing. Probably nothing anyone could do or say will completely ease your worries until the moment that baby is in your arms, and even THEN you'll have a whooooole new host of worries that you didn't even think about before. If I've learned one thing from parenting, it is that from the moment your little one is conceived and you feel that love for your unborn child, you at the same time want to do anything to protect and help that child to survive. Worry is part of it and it never fully goes away, but I just want to say, don't let it consume you.
You got this mamas!
I just wanted to make a post to reassure some of you because I just recently started posting in here and had been here last year when I was pregnant with my son, and I noticed then the same thing I do now, which is that the first trimester board is littered with posts from nervous, worried ladies.
As someone who had a miscarriage at 8 weeks before the conception of my son, who I then carried to term, I've been on both ends, and the first trimester with my son was SO nerve-wracking because just months before conceiving him, I had experienced an unexpected pregnancy followed by an unexpected miscarriage.
Now, I got a faint BFP, so I'm tentatively assuming I'm pregnant. I haven't confirmed it yet so I haven't officially introduced myself here yet, but regardless of whether or not i am, I just wanted to share my thoughts on this with you ladies, because this time around, I don't feel nervous. I know what it is like to experience the grief and heartbreak and physical ordeal of miscarriage and to then worry over every little twinge, drop of blood, or cramp in the first trimester following that, but I also know what it's like to give birth to a baby at full term.
Giving birth to my son sort of made me look at the miscarriage in a much different way and somehow the fear went away. I realized that he was meant to be my son and enter my life, and me his, and the baby before, for whatever reason, I may never know, wasn't. I suddenly could be so at peace in that knowledge. Before, I was thinking "Oh, my god! What did I do wrong? Was it this thing that I did when I didn't know I was pregnant? Was it that thing? Will I ever be able to carry a baby to term?" The guilt and the worry was all-consuming. But I realized that the reason I miscarried will never be something I can know unless it was something super obvious like I was exposed to like freaking gamma rays or something crazy lol. It could be that the embryo didn't attach right, it could be that there was some chromosomal problem with that particular pregnancy. It could have been a million million things, none of which I had control over.
So I just want to give all you worried ladies a hug, and say if you're one of the worried ladies, especially if you are going to be a first-time mom and have had one or more miscarriages already, just hang in there. I had every bad cramp, I even had scary bleeding in my second trimester with my son, and we made it through okay. It is so easy to lose yourself in the worry and I know that the first trimester can be so incredibly nerve-wracking when you start to look online about percentages and statistics and whatnot but don't pay attention to that. Hold on to the belief and the knowledge that your body was built to do this and that while bad things are always a possibility, hell, you could step outside and randomly get struck by lightning, GOOD things are also always a possibility, and you could just be worrying for nothing. Probably nothing anyone could do or say will completely ease your worries until the moment that baby is in your arms, and even THEN you'll have a whooooole new host of worries that you didn't even think about before. If I've learned one thing from parenting, it is that from the moment your little one is conceived and you feel that love for your unborn child, you at the same time want to do anything to protect and help that child to survive. Worry is part of it and it never fully goes away, but I just want to say, don't let it consume you.
You got this mamas!
. I hope your post reaches every mom to be going through the same situation! Good luck on your faint bfp I hope its a sticky bean for you!
